When Sleep Eludes Me

Greetings Dear Reader,

24 August 2011-- It is 2:08 am and I have booked only two hours sleep.  I woke up at 1:34 am and tried to return to sleep for half an hour.  Once I awaken this is usually futile.  So what do I do with this time when I need sleep to get me through the day but will not get enough?  I write.  I work on this blog, or my current novel, or the things that the boys in the basement have dredged up that awakened me in the first place.

Most people do not know that I have terrible nightmares.  I have for a few years now.  Because of their nature I rarely share them with anyone.  Most people do not need that imagery dogging their minds.  On the occasions when the nightmares are the cause of my sleep deprivation it takes a bit to re-center and refocus. 

The thing that this time does provide is time to pray for people undisturbed.  There are so many conversations I wish to have with the Father but the day gets busy and they get neglected.  I the dark hours of the night there is time and silence for such things. 

Occasionally I make the mistake of eating something that is bad for me in the wee hours.  I pay for it all day long.  Tonight I am sipping ginger ale and water.  I have that gritty nausea that some people get when sleep deprived.  I think that I will post this a little later and right now indulge in some uninterrupted conversation with the Father.  After all, it matters.  I realize this post is a departure from my more polished thoughts on issues but it is who I am in the moment. 

27 August 2011—It is 3:17 am and this time I have been up since about 12:45 having drifted off at 10:30.  I was awakened by the sounds of Christmas and her friend Present returning from a small town Friday night football game.  The cacophony of their attempt to be quiet was quite adorable.  I let them know I was awake and we chatted for a bit.  Then Christmas said wanted a Pizza.  It was 1:22 at that moment.  I agreed that to get one for them.  We ordered a large Pizza and sang old songs neither of them should know until it arrived.  The pizza arrived at 2:07.  See my note above about the ill wisdom for me of eating bad food (even good bad food) at this hour.  I, nevertheless, indulged.  I have not done this in too many years and it was joyful.

We chatted a bit then they went off to bed.  Here I am forty minutes later still awake.  Not sure how the rest of the day will unfold but I have been praying for both of these young women so that they see how richly the love of Christ is reflected in their friendship.

I guess on balance a little lack of sleep is worth it when I have the right heart about it.  Then it seems that as I keep unpacking my heart so there is more room for Christ to build in it what he wishes, everything is worth it if my heart is right about it.  I am going to try and drift off for a bit.

Old man he’s asleep now

Got appointments to keep now

Dreaming of his sons and daughters

Proving, proving that the blood is strong – Ian Anderson

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."