A Friend Must Leave

Greetings Dear Reader,

For most of my adult life I have had difficulty being friends with men.  There are many reasons that I will not burden you with but when I find a man I trust and will call friend at the closest level it is rare.  Sometimes I have the joy of investing richly in these friendships.  Others, like the one I ponder today are built of short moments rich with life and shared spirit.

The friendship I ponder today is not ending but my friend must move on to where Christ is obviously leading him.  This man has been a blessing in my life during some very dark times and I love him as if he were family.  When I heard that it was time for him to move on my self-centered heart wept.  The part of me that benefits from him being in my city and available felt like it was losing something.  Then I remembered something vital.  He is my friend but does not belong to me. 

Who he is in Christ; that part of him that makes him such a great blessing to my spirit would not be genuine were he not following Christ with all his heart.  The people to whom he goes need what he has.  I do not need to know them to know this is true.  As he travels away there will be a void for me and many who know him but I must remember that he goes to fill a void as well. 

The basis of friendship is that we love others selflessly.  I know that I have communicated my love for him and thanked him for the ways in which he makes a difference in my life.  What I must do is bend my heart to Christ on his behalf so that I can wish him God’s speed on his way.  My journey and his will never be truly parted as we are headed to the same place.  In addition I know that he loves me and should I reach out to him he will respond.

For now I just wish him to know that as he goes I remember that he belongs to God and that is where I can always find him.  I also wish him to know that the learning we have shared has deep root in me and I am a better man for his friendship.  Is this not the essence of the friendship that should be between men?  Should they not drive each other to become more centered on Christ and following him as closely as possible?  The only honest answer is “yes.” 

I know these words will both warm his heart and embarrass him a little.  The latter is true because he possess real humility.  Even in his leaving, however, he teaches me.  He reminds me that all I have, even friends are there because God gives them to me to enjoy and steward.  I would be violating many things my friend has taught me were I to hold them in any other light.

So as my friend Tim journeys west I pray him rich and beautiful adventures in Christ.  I wish him joy and sweetness as he and his family share the bounty of their gifts with others along the path toward God.  I leave him with these words from one of my favorite authors and the promise to always remember who he is and what I have learned from him.  I also promise to keep him close in my prayers and not to forget him.

Roads go ever on and on,

Over rock and under tree,

By caves where never sun has shone,

By streams that never find the sea;

Over snow by winter sown,

And through the merry flowers of June,

Over grass and over stone,

And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on

Under cloud and under star,

Yet feet that wandering have gone

Turn at last to home afar.

Eyes that fire and sword have seen

And horror in the halls of stone

Look at last on meadows green

And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on

Out from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

Let others follow it who can!

Let them a journey new begin,

But I at last with weary feet

Will turn towards the lighted inn,

My evening-rest and sleep to meet. – J.R.R. Tolkien

Wishing Tim, his family, and all of you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."