Second Thoughts – Lost Lives and Distant Dreams

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

Time moves so quickly through the pinch.  Death collects his toll along the way with no regard for our plans and dreams.  He interrupts at will and we must deal with the loss.  The souls are taken and we are left to tend the shell and the pain.

We collect losses at an ever increasing rate as we age.  I have met those who are the last of their troop.  They recount those who have gone on ahead and the sadness lingers.  The toll is always too high and never refundable.

The pain never escapes entirely from our souls.  No matter the level of comfort or healing.  The ones closest to us are the hardest.  They haunt me in that figurative way that no others can see or feel to my satisfaction. 

Sam counsels me in times of desperation and sorrow. He was my first and deepest loss. Too young to understand I blamed myself.  Sarah went quietly taking with her a blessing not quite materialized.  Rachel left behind a gaping wound that never quite fills.  She would have been twenty-four today.  And there is another, unnamed and unknown. 

We cannot change the loss and in each case the loss has done worse.  We have let steal dreams.  I make bad choices at times because of the pain.  In doing so I dishonor the lost.  As I celebrate the Grandfather, Sister, Daughter, and Grandchildren I will never hold while on the journey I vow to make the journey honor them.   I will forfeit no more dreams due to the pain.  I will be the example I should be for them and for others. 

The journey calls and we pay for the journey with our dearest blood.  The Father did as well.  He too lost so that he could call us all to him.  So I raise a glass to the ghosts who haunt me bidding the love and peace.  I promise to do better.  After all I do not sorrow without hope.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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