09 June 2015

Impossible Dreams – Night Terrors

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the problems of having a creative mind is that it can be creative with the negative as well.  When I am under strong emotional duress I get extremely real nightmares.   Most of the time I can keep from disturbing the rest of the house but sometimes I scream in my sleep.

One of the recurring dreams replaces whomever is the object of my stress in the main role of the dream.  Another frequent flyer revisits real terrors of my youth with those currently in my life as spectators cheering it on. 
Melissa Benson

When I awaken from these unwanted night visitors I am usually disoriented because they are so very real.  Then I fear returning to sleep.  Of late the nightmares have been almost every night.  It makes me weary.  

Christ carries me through this.  I could not endure it otherwise.  The point is that these too are impossible dreams.  None of the things in my creative nocturnal dramas could really happen.  These impossible dreams do their damage but they also help me deal with pain and stress.

They only come for a season.  They purge some of the fear and pain with false fear and pain.  They force me to deal with the emotional weight of whatever real thing invites them into my life.  They force me to pray more and trust more. 

The return of my nightmares is usually centered around the death of a real dream.  Something in my life is going away that is part of my grand impossible dream.  Something is changing and it touches my deepest fears.  Even in the terror of the night when I need sleep I must focus and follow in faith.   In Christ alone my hope is found. 

Dreaming of anything good is a risk, a gamble.  We dre
am in faith that what Christ offers is real.  I will face a thousand nights of terror before I give up that impossible dream.

Cool morning shadows sadly shift across the floor
Each time we say goodbye it's harder than before
Even after all the pain of parting still we find
That we must mourn the death of the dreams we leave behind

As I turn my back on all that means the most to me
The sounds and smells, the light that dances on the sea
The greatest gamble is to act on the belief
That only the slave who leaves it all is truly free

The sacrifice that we both lay before His feet
A thousand moments that belonged to us
That now will never be

By faith we hold a better dream inside our hearts
A time when our family will never have to be apart
Till then we struggle with just what it really means
And we will mourn the death of our beautiful dreams
Mourn the death of our beautiful dreams

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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