10 March 2016

Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Disillusioned but Dreaming

Greetings Dear Reader,

Some days I torture my soul by dreaming that things will come back together in this life.  I am the dangerous kind of optimist that believes that God can and sometimes will reunite people.   I did not always believe this but I do now.  It is torture most evenings when the sun sets and the house is not a home because I am alone.

Still in the midst of the gnawing dark when I am disillusioned and alone I dream.  I dare to dream because I will go to the edge of hope but never beyond it.  When I dream of restoration and harmony I think some very true but offensive things.  I think about the energy we spend in pursuit of things that do not satisfy.  I think about the things we want that will not meet our needs. 

I ponder the hope that I have that people will find faith again or for the first time.  I ruminate over the sorrow that the Father must feel for those try some many false things to get needs met when he is everything we need.  I think of Jesus weeping over Jerusalem whispering, “I would have gathered you as a mother hen gathers her chicks but you would not have me.” 

The sorrow as my mind and heart turn toward Holy Week is for all those who have abandoned the one who holds everything they need.  The price paid to redeem us is beyond our comprehension.  All that Jesus asks in return is that we follow in faith.  Instead of doing this we load his request with judgmental baggage, conditional love, and active resistance.

He is everything I need if I will let him be everything.  This year I am counting the cost more closely than in the past.  I see the subtle and obvious ways we reject Christ.  I see the import of this in the things that plague our culture.  My sorrow toady focuses on the failure of those who follow Christ and represent him as he is.  In that sorrow is the joy that who he is cannot be thwarted by my failures.  That is hope.

Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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