28 August 2016

The Pain of Others – Broken Presence

Greetings Dear Reader,

People move in and out of our lives.  Some of that is the natural flow of life.  Some is abandonment.  Much is somewhere in between.  No matter how it happens the presence of others gets broken in our lives.

That broken presence can be physical or emotional.  We are cut off from others at a time when we do not wish it.  This causes great pain.  Whether through death, abandonment, or emotional distance the pain of broken presence does damage.

When others are forced through this dark valley we cannot measure their pain.  We can comfort and console when possible.  We can sit and be with them when needed.  When there is a broken presence what we must not do impose our time table on their pain. 

No one needs to “get over” the broken presence of a loved one.   When someone dies it breaks his or her presence in our lives and that does great damage.  It is not my place so limit or impose my standards on the pain.   It is my place to constantly let that person feel how they feel.  When someone loses a loved one or friend we must be there for them as long as it takes even if that is a lifetime.

When someone walks out of our lives it can be worse than if they had died.  The person’s shared connectivity may impose their absent presence on us at any time.  I still miss Avalon every day and encounters with her are blessed pain.  People who choose to break presence with us have their own pain and reasons.  We cannot control it.  We can engage with those who are in this pain and be kind, patient, and loving.

In the pain of broken presence we can show love and availability.  I can assure that the person in pain feels no time limits or conditions on how he or she feels.  I can let them feel what is felt and guide them towards healing moments.  The pain of broken presence in others is the prime opportunity to show unconditional love.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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