01 April 2017

I’d Rather be a Fool ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I was destroyed a little today.  I went to see the live actor version of the movie Beauty and the Beast.  It was marvelous.  It was beautiful and beastly all at once.  They added a couple of amazing songs.  One of them ravaged my heart.

You see if you have not figured it out I am a romantic.  I have always loved this redemption story; even the original one that is quite different from the Disney version.  I know that I am a beast.  I know that I am hard to love.  I tried when I was very young to shut my heart off from love but failed.

Then I learned how to love.  It has been a beautiful curse every day since.  I love others deeply.  I am also flawed in many ways and apparently not worth the cost of reaming with when it is hard.  This is not self-pity or self-deprecation.  It is an open repetition of what those who love me have told me.

Still when I love I never stop loving.  I deal in hope and grace as often as possible.  Those that I have loved the most have judged me the most harshly.  I have healed from much of it.  I was even thinking I could “move on” from some of it.  Then this song ravaged me in a filled theatre. 

As I work through what a fool I am and the fool I am to be as a Christ follower I wonder how my tattered heart fits into it.  I am preparing for Holy Week.  Part of that is seeing that I am a fool to carry unrequited love but that foolishness is never wasted.  It is a glimmer of what Christ does for us. 

As I consider the foolishness of loving others please walk with me Dear Reader.  I need to lean on you a bit at moments and I need you to see that I love you even when you find me unworthy.  It is a tale as old as time.  It is all true.  Loving is such a very dangerous thing and the folly of fools.  I would, however, rather be a fool.

Evermore – Beauty and The Beast 2017

I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late

I'll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but she's still there
I let her steal into my melancholy heart
It's more than I can bear

Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she runs away
She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me
Move me, come what may

Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself she'll walk right in
And be with me for evermore

I rage against the trials of love
I curse the fading of the light
Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach
She's never out of sight

Now I know she'll never leave me
Even as she fades from view
She will still inpire me, be a part of
Everything I do

Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I'll fool myself she'll walk right in
And as the long, long nights begin
I'll think of all that might have been
Waiting here for evermore!

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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