The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – The Road Goes On – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I packed away my Dickens books yesterday.  Most of my books are ready to travel.  The remnants of June and all of July will be filled with packing and preparation.  August will be spent moving.   I have the entire month but other events will demand my time as well.

Amidst these events that no one enjoys and are necessary to the movement of the universe there will be best of times.  We will have a fire this week.  There are baseball games.  The highlight of the summer will be my Grandson singing at one those games.  We are all excited about this.

Georgia peaches come next week.  I have found a wonderful gift for my Son for Father’s day.  New technology is on the horizon.  Travel and birthdays move onto the scene soon.  The summer of this year holds change both loved and loathed.

It is up to me to realize that the constant of change will damage and heal.  It will make best of times and worst of times available.  My duty is to look for Christ in every moved no matter how painful or sublime.   I am following through this time not defined by it.  I am seeking a kingdom beyond this one.  Tis a far far better thing that I do. 

The Road goes ever on and on

Out from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

Let others follow it who can!

Let them a journey new begin,

But I at last with weary feet

Will turn towards the lighted inn,

My evening-rest and sleep to meet.  – J.R.R. Tolkien

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Future Thought

Greetings Dear Reader,

Fear is the mind killer.  Fear is the faith killer.  As I contemplate future best and worst times I contemplate the things I fear.  I must lay siege against the fear and fight its attempts to escape from my mind into my spirit. 

This thing is hard but it is not impossible.  This being alone is something that haunts my dreams but need not crush my reality.  Although I have not won these battles in the past does not mean that I cannot in the future.

I must lay in plans to fight the lurkers that will attempt to lay waste to my peace.  I must fill the time with things that enrich who I am.  I must invest more time in others.  I must look beyond my borders to the things that will draw to the new horizons that are possible.

In all of it the fear is there.  I can feel the fear but must not ever let the fear be in charge.  I have told this to others and now I must live it.  The things I fear will be are based on things that have been. 

In short I must make new best of times and be creative in doing so.  There will be new worst of times. I must assure they are not created out my own choosing fear over faith.  It is in the crucible that I can burn away the fears that have gripped me as long as I remember.  It is by faith that this can be.  It in faith in Christ that I must live and move.

By Faith – Michael Card

By faith one was commended

For the sacrifice he made

Another out of holy fear

Built an ark the world to save

Another left his homeland

and as a stranger he'd reside

But none received the promise then

And so, in faith, they died.

Others conquered kingdoms

Quenched the fury of the flames

Some made strong in battle

Some were raised to life again

But many more were martyred

Midst the crowds loud clamoring

By faith they would not bow the knee

Nor kiss the emperor's ring

Faith understands and offers

It assures and calms our fears

It can shut the mouths of lions

And make sense of scars and tears

We persevere in hope

And with conscience clean and clear

We walk this fallen wilderness

With Salvation's Pioneer

Being sure of what we hope for

Seeing what is yet unseen

A universe from nothingness

New life where none had been

The known made from unknowable

And hope for the comfortless

Who hear and hold on firmly to

The faith that they possess

Faith understands and offers

It assures and calms our fears

It can shut the mouths of lions

And make sense of scars and tears

We persevere in hope

And with conscience clean and clear

We walk this fallen wilderness

With Salvation's Pioneer

So fix your eyes upon the Champion

As you seek to run the race

Understanding that He cheers you on

As you long for His embrace

So hold on and do not grow weary

Of the faith that you profess

Remembering that you are ringed around

By this cloud of witnesses

Faith understands and offers

It assures and calms our fears

It can shut the mouths of lions

And make sense of scars and tears

We persevere in hope

And with conscience clean and clear

We walk this fallen wilderness

With Salvation's Pioneer

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Cyrano

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of my favorite plays is Cyrano De Bergerac by Edmund Rostand.  I had the honor to play Cyrano when I was much younger.  We see his character from the beginning when he duels a pompous noble and spares his life.  He composes a ballad whilst dueling that shows his wit and intelligence.  In this opening act he is reveled to be a warrior, a poet, and very intelligent.  He is shown to be compassionate but also unwilling to brook insolence and pompous behaviour.  Here is his ballad:

Lightly I toss my hat away,

Languidly over my arm let fall

The cloak that covers my bright array –

Then out swords, and to work withal!

A Launcelot in his Lady’s hall…

A Spartacus, at the Hippodrome!...

I dally awhile with you, dear jackal,

Then, as I end the refrain, thrust home!

(The swords cross – the fight is on.)

Where shall I skewer my peacock?...Nay,

Better for you to have shunned this brawl! –

Here, in the heart, thro’ your ribbons gay?

- In the belly, under your silken shawl?

Hark, how the steel rings musical!

Mark how my point floats, light as the foam,

Ready to drive you back to the wall,

Then, as I end the refrain, thrust home!

Ho, for a rime! You are white as whey –

You break, you cower, you cringe, you…crawl!

Tac! – and I parry your last essay:

So may the turn of a hand forestall

Life with its honey, death with its gall;

So may the turn of my fancy roam

Free, for a time, till the rimes recall,

Then, as I end the refrain, thrust home!

(He announces solemnly.)

Refrain:

Prince! Pray God, that is Lord of all,

Pardon your soul, for your time has come!

Beat – pass – fling you aslant, asprawl -

Then, as I end the refrain…

(He lunges; Valvert staggers back and falls into the arms of his friends. Cyrano recovers, and salutes.)

Thrust home!

This moment of humor and skill sets up his death.  First we see his life.  He is a solider, a man in love, and a loyal friend.  The woman he loves loves another man.  Roxane asks Cyrano to help her meet this man.  She does not know he loves her.  She does not see that he loves her enough to help her find love with another.  He shows his love by being with her through the best of times and the worst of times.

ROXANE A hundred men against you? ... Well, adieu. We are fast friends.

CYRANO Yes, yes.

ROXANE Tell him to write me! ... A hundred men! You shall tell me another time. I must not linger now ... A hundred men! What a heroic thing to do!

CYRANO [bowing] Oh, I have done better since!

Roxane does not realize until Cyrano is dying that he loves her.  He has held onto his good character and given her the best of times even in the worst of times.  This character is required if we are to truly love others.  Even when others do not see what their actions require of us we must be grounded in love.  We must fight pride and selfishness to assure that our love is unconditional. 

I must focus on what love does to assure that it is unconditional and pure.  What I want must be replaced by what is good and right no matter what the cost.  Through the best of times and the worst of times love can allow us to still give our very best.  It is what Christ did for us and what he asks of us.  In this I must follow.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Abase and Abound

Greetings Dear Reader,

I do not speak of it often outside of family.   I was homeless once for about six months.  A colliding set of circumstances and some friends who turned out not to be friends at all put me on the streets for a space in my early twenties.  It was surely a worst of times.

At this time in my life I have a measure of security.   Stable income and a mature attitude toward that income make for life of relative plenty.   As I am turning this home back into a house I ponder the former time of homelessness.  The lack of home back then did damage to me that has not healed completely.

It did give me an undying compassion for the homeless.  It showed me that there are places that truly work to help the homeless and that there are places that take advantage of them.  I remember in that time succeeding in being good to others.  I also remember failing to truly trust Christ to care for me during the first half of my exile.

Paul talks about being abased and abound or being made low and being exalted.  I have been both.  In all of it the thing that I have learned is that Christ is there.  He is there in every moment if I will seek him.  Paul also talks about being content in every situation.  I am still working on that one. 

I have to assure that the contentment is not a flat response to my situation.  I have to assure that I am content that Christ is with me even when I face things I would rather not.  I have to assure that I look for Christ in the moments of joy and laughter as well.  It all comes back to seeing Christ in the right way in every circumstance.

For some reason Jesus is asking me to face my deepest fears.  He will be faithful if I seek him.  Being with God and being content with just that is a lesson he has taught me over and over.  It is my responsibility to apply the lesson.

Box Number 10 – Jim Croce

Uploaded on Oct 18, 2010

Well out of southern Illinois, come a down home country boy

He's gonna make it in the city playin guitar in the studio

Well he hadn't been there an hour, when he met a Broadway flower

You know she took him for his money and she left him in a cheap hotel

Well it's easy for you to see, that that country boy is me

I'm sayin how'm I gonna ever break the news to the folks back home

Well I was gonna be a great success, things sure ended up a mess

But in the process, I got messed up too

Well hello momma and dad I had to call collect

cause I aint got a cent to my name

Well I'm sleepin in the hotel doorway

And tonight they say it's gonna rain

And if you'd only send me some money

I'd be back on my feet again

Send it in care of the Sunday Mission Box Number 10

Oh back in southern Illinois, they still worryin' bout that boy

But this boy's goin home soon as he gets the fare

Because as soon as I got my bread, I got a pipe upside my head

You know they left me in an alley, took my money and my guitar too

Well hello momma and dad I had to call collect

cause I aint got a cent to my name

Well I'm sleepin in the hotel doorway

And tonight they say it's gonna rain

And if you'd only send me some money

I'd be back on my feet again

Send it in care of the Sunday Mission Box Number 10

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Gain (not the detergent)

Greetings Dear Reader,

I must respect the gift this place has been as I turn it from a home to a house.  There have been many best of times here.  I cannot do them justice in this brevity. I can, however, reminisce and pass along some of the joy.

As I mentioned yesterday we came to this house to create a safe home for Christmas.  She has learned, grown, and healed greatly these years.  I am proud of her work, friendships, faith, and dreams.

Each year save one we have had a Christmas open house.  That year was the year that Christmas and I both caught a terrible flu and had to cancel.  Other years have seen friends and family join us for good food and merry conversation.  One year we had a blizzard erupt during the party.  We were privileged to host some of our guests overnight.    

My smaller circle of friends had shared long nights of gaming, cookouts, and talk around the fire pit.  The gaming and feasting will still be possible but my new abode will not allow for a fire pit. 

I have done some fine writing here.  I have honed my craft and cemented my goals.  I have gained confidence in the craft.  I will be devoting more time to this and try to make them best times. 

Each room in this place holds true beautiful best of times for me.  I will not dishonor them by failing to remember.  I will not leave them behind.  I will seek to find way to create new beautiful things.  I have gained from being here.  I will assure that I always feel gratitude for that gain.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Losses

Greetings Dear Reader,

As I ponder the home that is turning back into a house I ponder some of the losses that have transpired in these rooms.  I moved into this house to make a place for Christmas as we adopted her.  We needed someplace large enough for three adults. 

Within a year Avalon had decided that being married to me was the worst of times.  She moved out and moved on to the best of times she wished to have.  Avalon leaving me is an eternally echoing worst of times. 

There was a winter where Christmas was bed bound for weeks.  She felt so guilty for being ill as she had not healed enough emotionally to know that it was out of her control.  I felt so helpless to help with her pain and discomfort.  It was not until she was healed that I shared my fear during her illness. 

I have prayed alone in the darkness for Avalon, my children, my grandchildren, and others.  I have wept in wee hours of the morning when the loneliness overwhelms me.  I have seen the death of dreams in this place.  That may be the deepest pain of all.

There have been other very dark times in this house.  In all of them I have found two things to be true.  The first is that no matter how dark it is there is deeper darkness out there. The second is that in the darkness there is always the Light. 

This is not a platitude.  Christ has seen me through the worst of times.  He is the constant in the chaos; the fulcrum in the void.  No matter how dark it is if I follow the Light I will make my way out of the darkness.

Even the worst of times work to achieve the final good of retuning all things to Christ.  If the darkness serves that then all is well with my soul.

One Whit Duck  – Jethro Tull

There's a haze on the skyline, to wish me on my way.

And there's a note on the telephone --- some roses on a tray.

And the motorway's stretching right out to us all,

As I pull on my old wings --- one white duck on your wall.

Isn't it just too damn real?

One white duck on your wall, one duck on your wall

I'll catch a ride on your violin --- strung upon your bow.

And I'll float on your melody --- sing your chorus soft and low.

There's a picture-view postcard to say that I called.

You can see from the fireplace, one white duck on your wall.

Isn't it just too damn real?

One white duck on your wall, one duck on your wall

So fly away Peter and fly away Paul --- from the

Finger-tip ledge of contentment.

The long restless rustle of high-heeled boots calls.

And I'm probably bound to deceive you after all.

Something must be wrong with me and my brain ---

If I'm so patently unrewarding.

But my dreams are for dreaming and best left that Way ---

And my zero to your power of ten equals nothing at all.

There's no double-lock defense; there's no chain on my door.

I'm available for consultation,

But remember your way in is also my way out,

And Love’s four-letter word is no compensation.

Well, I'm the Black Ace dog-handler: I'm a waiter on skates ---

So don't you jump to your foreskin conclusion.

Because I'm up to my deaf ears in cold breakfast trays ---

To be cleared before I can dine on your sweet Sunday lunch confusion.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Best of Times; the Worst of Times – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

Charles Dickens has long been one of my favorite authors.  I have read almost everything he has written.  His writing reminds me what matters in being good to my fellow travelers.  It also reminds me to put my “suffering” in perspective. 

As I move through a season of changes that I do not necessarily want I am re-reading A Tale of Two Cities to keep my perspective.  This particular novel also connects to a pinnacle moment in some of my other fiction, Star Trek.  So many things about that fictional universe touch the essence of who I am.

Above I quoted the opening lines of the novel.  As I reread them I realize just how much of the binary choices there are in my control.  I choose how I behave in the best and worst of times.  Even in times of pain and loss I can choose how I act, react, and interact.  Even when things seem grim it can be an epoch of belief.

As I turn my home into a house again I will be saying goodbye to many best and worst times.  I will make many binary choices over the coming weeks.  I must make sure that the important ones are made in the footsteps of following Christ.  Although I journey to a place that I fear will not feel like a home I know that I still have more than so many.  I must journey there with the right attitude, intentions, and energy.  Walk with me whilst I think through this if you will.  I could use the company and the conversation.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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