And the sand-castle virtues are all swept away in, the tidal destruction, the moral mêlée.
The elastic retreat rings the close of play as the last wave uncovers, the newfangled way.
But your new shoes are worn at the heels and, your suntan does rapidly peel, and your wise men don't know how it feels to be thick as a brick. – Ian Anderson
Sometimes I am so weary of the struggle to be better than I am. I have tried shortcuts that do not work. The journey sometimes is so much longer that I thought it would be when I started out. I never expected to fail and fall so often. I never thought I would be where I am when my younger self chose to venture forth.
I am not depressed or feeling morose. I am instead wondering aloud how to deal with the feelings of despair that two steps forward always lead to a step back. I am weary of struggling with sin. I know that I am better than I was but I want to be better than I am.
I remember as a boy wanting so badly to be grown up so that I could do the things I wanted to do. I wish I could go back and tell that lad to do some things differently. He would not listen but at least I would have the satisfaction of trying. You see we want to be better men. We wish to follow Christ closely but then things beset and our certainty becomes awash in pondering how close to the edge we can get without going over. I am not in some deep crisis but the daily drumming of the little sins seems to be driving me mad. In Christ alone my hope is found and in him I will have dwell and move and have my being.
The thing that I can give you is that when you feel this self same way, you are not alone. I am with you. I will never arrive on my own and neither will you. We must get there by following Christ and by caring for each other. So we, like a beleaguered and beaten Superman, get up one more time and do that which we were created to do. Job said, “Though he slay me, yet will I serve him.” Even in the failing light of a very dark day we know that morning is coming. All we have to do is stay at our post. We already know we will win.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."