Why did it have to be a friend who chose to betray the Lord?
I am sailing through some difficult waters and a storm chases me. The determination to do what is right always gets followed by the need to actually do it. Faith is such a mighty ship and once unfurled her sails catch the best wind. Unfortunately a sturdy ship does not guarantee that you can outrun the storms.
I could wax metaphorical for hours but the meat of the issue is that I am facing doing what is right and I know it will harm me. I have held parts of myself in check or at bay thinking to protect my own pain. This never works. The choice to do right no matter the cost is always one that summons a storm. The choice to love at the God level is always one that leaves us vulnerable and usually targeted. The purpose here is not to garner sympathy or support, but rather to warn and seek your prayer.
Christ calls us to love as he loves. He insists that we take up our cross and follow him. He demands that we deny ourselves and put all hope in him. He promises that the pain in the journey is worth it at the end. Today I cannot see it. Following Christ today means opening old wounds that have not fully healed. Following Christ today means that I can see only the troughs at the bottom of the waves. Not following means that those wounds will never truly heal and will probably fester. Not following means that the next wave will crush me rather than lift me up.
Following today means sacrificing my rights on the altar of love and faith. Christ sailed these waters long before me. He never withheld himself from us even though he knew it would cost his life. I can no longer claim to love others and withhold my friendship from them for any reason. I cannot allow my faithless need for safety to hinder the possible grace that may be worked out in others. I must not only determine to abandon my own due, even if it is just, I must fully unfurl my sails and go boldly towards being fully vulnerable to others for the sake of Christ and his agenda for us all.
I hear the wind around me whipping “whys” and “hows” in hopes that I will pull in my sails or head for a safe harbor. The spinnaker is unfurled and she is in full billow. There is no safe harbor from the truth that we are to love everyone no matter what the cost. There is no time to rest in the doldrums of indifference. To withhold ourselves for fear or to feel safe is to actually endanger ourselves and others.
The maelstrom will catch me. My only hope is to set my course toward Christ and lash myself to the mast of my good ship Faith. I have a tall ship and a star to steer her by. What more does anyone really need. Sail on.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."