27 October 2009

Empty Moments

Greetings Dear Readers,

I try to be real here. Sometimes I feel that I may be seen as just complaining or whining. My intent is to share what goes on with me in hopes of being of aide to others. There was a beautiful rainbow in the sky yesterday as I came out of dinner with my children. Bezel spotted it first. He made sure I saw it and we marveled at the fleeting moments of colourful beauty.

Inside a small voice reminded me of the sharp and searing pain I still carry over the loss of Avalon. She and I always had time to marvel at rainbows together. We both bear the memory of a particularly vivid triple one witnessed on a Friday drive from Chicago to Madison. One of the continuing raw spots of divorce is the tainting of beautiful memories by the treachery of the one who left.

I refuse to lose the beauty of those moments. That rainbow back then was just as miraculous and amazing. They may be empty of her, but the moments are not empty. They are filled with a renewed understanding of how Christ can fill every void. Avalon’s presence added to its beauty as her wonder at things always enriches me. There is, however, still a corner in my smile and it Cheshire fades prematurely with her gone. Still, when I see a rainbow it gives me the chance to appreciate her and the Maker of Rainbows who allowed us to share a beautiful romantic moment during a mundane drive.

The moments that are empty of Avalon are still filled with her unique way of viewing the world. I hope I can always embrace those and refrain from embracing bitterness or anger.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

25 October 2009

Empty Chairs

Greetings Dear Readers

This morning as I was writing in another venue, I realized that some things have slipped into the past that I truly miss. As I sit here drawing on my pipe and musing on the encroaching winter, I wonder what God’s purpose in some of my wilderness time is. I feel a deep loneliness for some things that I often do not ponder.

Today I miss sitting in church with my oldest son as if I were losing a limb or someone had died. I have noticed of late that I look for him during the sermon, remembering how he used to get so intense about what was being said. Even when he was a small boy he knew that what came from the teaching pastor could be used to draw him closer to Christ.

His thoughts on church have changed. His walk with Christ is strong buy I rarely get to be in church with him. It is ironic as I attend a church that he asked me to go to with him. My longing is not for him in a spiritual way, but as a father who loves his son and benefits from his insights. I know that going to church is not the measure of your heart toward Christ, but today I feel and intense loneliness for the closeness he and I shared over this event.

My failures in life and his growth have lessened the time we share in this practice. With more Sundays behind me than ahead of me, I just feel that today’s would be much more beautiful with a conversation about the sermon with my son. Fathers I urge you to invest the time in your children now. Sooner that one can imagine, sons become men with families of their own. The void left when they grow up is vast and hungry, even when it is natural and the result them just becoming adults.

For today, I will look at the empty chair and remember the beautiful boy scribbling in my Bible and telling me what the pastor means. For today I will remember standing in the pulpit and him running up during the sermon to tell me he wanted to help. For today I will recall him reaching out to lost teen agers when he was only eight so that they could have what he had.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

20 October 2009

The Long Dark

Greetings Dear Readers,

I love the Lord of the Rings movies, based on the Tolkien novels. I have loved the books since I was a young boy. One of my favorite moments is when Gandalf resigns himself to the traveling through the Mines of Moria. His simple statement is so foreboding; “And now, to the long dark.”

Facing the long dark is always daunting. I feel like I have been walking in the long dark and I can just see the first light up ahead in the long tunnel I travel. The thing is that Gandalf brings his own light with him and so have I. One of the things I have learned most clearly is that we carry the Light, Christ with us whenever we are in the dark. My problem is I forget He is there. I see the wilderness, the darkness, or the treacherous terrain instead of focusing on Christ and his warm, safe, guidance.

I can see the light ahead, but more importantly, the long dark, though filled with denizens and danger, has not been all that dark. Christ has been there every moment patiently showing me the next step along the way. What I must not fail to do is realize that there is a vital truth to carry into the bright sunlight as I exit the darkness. The light that I carry is to be my guide even in the warm sunlight. The Light, Christ shines far brighter and I must not depend on the light around me but rather on Christ and his guidance. As the Crusader’s Hymn reminds us, “Jesus shines fairer, Jesus shines brighter.” I must not fail to follow the light of Christ even though I think I am out of the darkness.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

12 October 2009

How is that Following Christ?

Greetings Dear Readers,

So I had to make my way across town for something yesterday. Most of the journey was highway driving and the traffic was light. The cool sunny morning offered clear visibility and easy driving. All this should make for a pleasant journey to church. It should unless I get in my own way.

First there was the guy in the SUV. He tailgated me when there was no other traffic around us. He passed me and then pulled in front of me and slowed down. So I thought all my terrible thoughts and sped off around him.

Then there was the guy who merged right on top of me. Does anyone in this city know how to merge? What a jerk….Ah there it is. In haste to keep my place in my lane on my trip to church I had forgotten whose I was, who owned the world, and what my attitude should be in regard to all of this.

Following Christ for me is not just the big picture of salvation and a faith based life. It is making sure that I treat everyone as Christ would treat them. It is being nice to my waitress. It is forgiving the guy who cut me off because I cut people off sometimes too. It is the fact that the road, the car, and the drive all belong to Christ as much as anything else in my life.

I have no right to my anger, my pride, and my place on the road. Anything that I view as mine is my way of saying that it does not belong to Christ. Any time I assert my “rights” I am forgetting the grace that has been shown to me and that I in turn need to show to others. There are laws and they should be obeyed, but I am neither the law giver nor the enforcer. I am just a traveler on my way to God and my only hope is keeping focused on my guide, Christ.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

08 October 2009

When Where How

Greetings Dear Readers,

A couple of weeks ago I shared my thoughts on how we are all a part of the story God is writing. I want to take some time to discuss just how we are a part of that story. You see, in my journey toward God (a journey I believe we all share), I find that I often forget that my readers do not know exactly what I believe.

I am going to lay out what I believe simply and hopefully succinctly. This may surprise some of you and for others it will just be a review. We already know who the “who” is in my faith. It is Jesus of Nazareth, the anointed Son of God. That is a lot of title and name but I am trying not to oversimplify in my simplicity.

You see God gave us an existence that was simple and good. We chose to break the peace in our relationship with him by thinking that we knew what was good for us outside of his stated ideal for us. When we did this we created a problem for not only ourselves but the entire world. God’s response to our rejection is to show us more love. Here is the when, where, and how of his demonstration of that love.

Once he saw that we were determined to be at enmity with him, he chose a family through whom he would build up a nation and through that nation and family he would enter into time and the world. He would allow us to kill him as the only needed payment to redeem us back to himself and he would ask us to follow him in faith.

The specifics, and realize there is much more than this, are that Jesus being full God took on the flesh of men so that he could be killed for our sins. It really is that simple and that complex. We put our faith in that and follow Christ so that we can be restored to a right relationship to God.

Most of the other things that Christ followers talk about are secondary to this discussion. No matter what specifics your faith holds, I leave you with the question of what you will do with this man Jesus. He is the beginning and the completion of my faith.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

05 October 2009

When my Faith is Idolatry

Greetings Dear Readers,

Please forgive my absence last week, I was working on a new writing venue that required all my writing time. I am writing for an online publication called the Examiner (www.examiner.com ). I will get blogging back into my cycle this week as I need the accountability.

I was challenged to go deeper this past week on my understanding of what idolatry is. Who is Christ? What image do you summon in your mind when someone mentions Jesus? Is it the Jesus who reached out to the poor and healed the sick?

I try most of the time to see the humble and obedient God who created us, loves us, and when it was time, died for us to buy us back to himself. Often, however, I find that I see Christ as less than this. I remake my image of Christ into the thing I need in the moment. I forget with whom I am dealing and use Jesus as my ATM for my needs or my personal weather consultant. On other occasions, much more serious, I remake my internal image of Christ into the buddy I count on to justify my own selfish behavior.

Too often I remake Christ into the image that I need in the moment, transforming my faith into idolatry. My intentions may even be good, but I forget with whom I am dealing. How can I be a serious follower of Christ when I transform him into that which I wish to follow instead following who he really is?
My journey is painful of late. Yet in the midst of it, as I find new bits of myself to discard I see new facets of Christ to love and embrace. If what I believe and practice has any purpose other than follow Christ more closely, it is me reforming Christ and not being reformed.

The results of remembering to see Christ as he is are wonderful. He is always there ready to forgive my idolatry, remind me of his love, and give me direction by gently whispering, “Follow me, we have a little farther to go yet.”

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn