Second Thoughts – Surprised by Pain

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

The weather is such that there is a damp chill in the air.  I pulled out a very old sweater to keep from getting chilled whilst I prepared dinner and watched Jeopardy.  The day has been fairly easy and I am coasting into the evening. 

It is likely that I have not worn this sweater in twelve years.  It is one of my old teaching sweaters that I used to ward off the damp winter days in Georgia; days much like today.  The temperature is above freezing but the rain is gelatinous.  I would walk from my office to chapel in sweaters like this one as a coat was too heavy.

After moving to the northern Midwest this garment was too light for winters and too heavy for autumn or spring.   Instead I reserved it for gaming in the basement with friends I dearly love and often miss.  It is a classic cardigan with too large lower front pockets.  As I am want to do I slipped my hands into the pockets whilst waiting for my dinner to cook.

In the right pocket was a carefully folded piece of blue-grey paper.  In faded black ink on it was a short note from Avalon.  For those who do not know Avalon was my spouse and some years ago, chose other things over our marriage.  I do not say that in a condemning or mean way.  It is, however, true. 

The note was sweet, kind, and filled with loving promise.  It spoke of potential and passion.  It used code that was part of our secret language that made communication easy and fun when we wished it to be thus.  I can still feel the moments when these notes would appear and the promise they shored and sustained. 

So I am sitting here, my meal gone cold.  I am longing for something that I will never have again.  I am remembering things that are beautiful and good.  I am wondering why I have no fellow traveler when I feel the need for one so very deeply.  And in all of that, as the tears refuse to remain in the deep well of my romantic’s soul, I read the note again.  I remember that once in a while; for a brief time I am worth a little romance and the promise of adventure. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Celebrating a Favorite Fool

Greetings Dear Reader,

Today is my Brother Ian’s birthday.  I thought that as part of it I would share the chapter from Sheet Rock on the Road about him.  I wish that everyone could meet him and know him.  He is one of the great blessings in my life.   Enjoy and buy the book if you like the chapter.

K-Mart at Christmas

Sometimes you get to share your most precious things with those most precious to you.  At age twenty two, many things are wrong in my life.  I have finished most of a college degree and messed up both my schooling and my relationship with a lovely girl.  I have lost sight of my future and my footing to find it.

Truly the only thing that is solid in me is my faith.  I believe even when I am hurting and hopeless.  I believe even when it is foolish to do so.  I am back at home with my parents and my foolishness has left me alone in many ways.  I leave that situation determined to set out on my own and fix things.  Had I stayed things would have fixed themselves.

Two years later things are almost as bad.  This time, however, I have a wife, a two year-old, and an infant.  My faith is strong and I am searching for a way to mend other things in my life.  I love my family and we are living with my parents for a season before making the transition to a school that will help me complete my undergraduate education.

So many things are out of sorts and none of the old ghosts that involve my parents have faded.  It is Christmas Eve and my young brother is concerned because he has not gotten a present for our mother.  I volunteer to take him shopping.  We drive to K-Mart where he picks out some heavy and horrid sweaters for our mother.  He is determined that they are just what she wants.  I am sure she will lie and tell him she loves them.  I am also sure they will disappear some time in January. 

After completing our shopping we join the line of weary Christmas Eve shoppers.  The store is about to close and it is unusually cold for Georgia in December.  We pay and make our way to the old car I am driving.  It needs to warm up a bit before it will willingly make the journey back to my parents’ home.  Whilst sitting in the K-Mart parking lot he asks me about school and where I am headed.  I explain that I am studying to teach the Bible and train future pastors. 

He pauses for a moment and then asks the deep question.  He asks what I believe.  I quietly and gently explain that I believe some very simple things.  I believe that we all are heading toward God in some way.  I believe that we have created our own barriers in that journey.  Jesus died to remove those barriers and only faith in that creates the necessary relationship to assure that our journey is headed in the proper direction.

I had no idea in that moment what I was beginning.  Over the years my little brother has become a Christ Follower who I love and trust.  His humble obedient spirit is an example I treasure when I am weak.  That Christmas was lovely in many ways but the best moment was in my old car waiting for my brother to open the door that opens only to a voluntary touch.  My faith comes so easy but it is at its richest when others partake of it.  Sometimes when you are driving your brother drinks it all in and both of your lives are different forever.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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