The Conversations In My Head – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

The inner conversations take up so much that we do not realize.  Little did I know when I began writing this series that I would get an entire day to battle my thoughts unbidden.  I think that much of our conflict erupts when our internal conversations spill out on each other in anger or pain.

When our inner conversations have free reign they produce as much fear and anger as possible.  Past pain bubbles up in the soup to unite with current offenses and create doom and gloom.  The fallen self prods us to judge and condemn.  It yearns for us to give lease to hurtful words instead of honest communication. 

Whatever causes the inner thoughts that assails my peace I am required to bring them into captivity.  I must avoid vain imaginations or faithless ponderings.  I must not let the lesser emotions have purchase or give fear control.

At the end of the day I often feel worn and tattered.  I know that we win in the end but most days I feel like I am losing.  The quiet dark settles in and I repair to my chambers At the bottom of the well of thoughts lie the ghost and goblins of the past.  They work hard to tell me I am losing.  I so often feel like I am losing everything.  I know that I am not but I must control the conversations in my head.

Thank you for your company Dear Reader.  You have no idea how much I value you.  That too is a part of the constant conversation in my head.

Losing – Tenth Avenue North

I can't believe what she said

I can't believe what he did

Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Maybe there's something I missed

But how could they treat me like this?

It's wearing out my heart

The way they disregard

This is love, this is hate...

We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Well it's only the dead that can live

But still I wrestle with this

To lose the pain that's mine

Seventy times seven times

'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right

For me to turn a blind eye

Though I guess it's not that much

When I think of what You've done.

This is love, this is hate...

We've got a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Oh, no!

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?

We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought

But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground

We build our bridges up but just to burn them down

We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop

But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound

Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down

Oh, Father won't you forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Yeah, I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

I feel like I've been losin'

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – Self Deprecation

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the areas at which we all seem to excel is being unkind to ourselves.  We hold so much of the conversation on our heads about who we are and what we can do.  We say things about ourselves we would not tolerate being said about our friends or loved ones. 

We fail to see ourselves as the Father sees us and we do not then take advantage of all we can be.   We limit our lives based on this inner talk.  We lose before we begin so often.   We know we can be so much more but we hinder it in our minds.

We become what we believe.   We experience what we talk ourselves into.  I cannot be all that Christ wishes me to be unless I truly follow him.  That includes seeing myself as he sees me.  It means having the courage to accept his vision of me instead of my own.  This is a daily or sometimes hourly struggle.  If I believe I can't I will be right every time.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Conversations In My Head – I’ll Tell You What You Are Thinking

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the most dire aspects of the conversations in our heads is that of holding the conversation for both people in a discussion.  We presume what others will say and impose it upon them.  We complete their thoughts even before they have so done and judge them on our assumptions of their minds.

When explained in this way it seems ridiculous that we would do such.  We, however, do just this.  We assume what others are thinking thus robbing them of the opportunity to do it on their own. 

The dire loss in this is that of the opportunity to hear what others have to say.  We judge and condemn based on our inner conversation.  We grow angry over things we imagine others to think.  We lose the opportunity to hear what may be different from our imaginations. 

We also lose understanding when in this place.  We fail to see someone as he is in the moment and instead see him as we assume he is.  We use our past experience to pre-determine the future.  We use our own thinking to build the person we think someone to be and reject him before he can speak.

Since I am to treat others as I wish to be treated then I must not do this.  I must listen with my heart.  I must let others speak and be true to who they are.  I must risk this in order to really see. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Conversations In My Head – Really Listening

Greetings Dear Reader,

When someone else takes the time to speak with me I try to really listen.  Sometimes I really fail.  It is not due to a lack of concern for what is being said.  It is mostly due to thinking about what I want to say instead of hearing.

My Grandfather used to say, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.  Listen twice as much as you talk.” 

Ponder that for a moment.  What if we were to really listen?  I feel so ashamed in those times where I let the conversation in my head keep me from really hearing the conversation in front of me. I have an obligation to really listen when someone takes the risk of talking. 

One of the things the conversation in my head can do is help me to see what is really being said; the words behind the words.  If I am really listening I can hear more than words.  I can hear the heart and hurt being unspoken but told.  If I set aside my own conversation I can use the conversation in my head to help.

Listening is an act of will which can become a habit if I do it well.   As with so many aspects of the inner conversation I must master what I do when others speak.  I must hear the words, the hurts, and the heart of others.  I must have compassion that makes a difference.

If I listen with the right aspect of the conversations in my head I can do good things.  If not I will only muck it up.  Controlling this aspect of the conversations in my head is vital to following Christ with my thoughts.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Conversations In My Head – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

We all have an internal dialogue.   It can be pleasant and condemning all at once.  It feeds our courage and our fear.  It is there in the best of times and the worst of times. 

Sometimes the conversation bleeds over into the conversation with others.  Our inner voices assumes what others will say and we hold both sides for discussion without actually talking to the others person. 

We can also allow the inner voice to rule our choices in how we interact with others.  We always fail when we allow certain inner conversations to rule our choices.  We also  have that inner voice that can strengthen us and move us along to better things.

We become what we think we are.  We become what we decide to become.  I need to assess what voices are getting the most attention from my inner ear.  I must assure that I am not listening to the wrong one. 

Walk with me for a bit if you care to join the conversation.  I know that as I expose some of that inner dialogue to this bright light of self-searching that I will value your thoughts Dear Reader.  The journey is long and your company encourages me.    

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)