Diving Deeper – Faith Weeps and Hopes

Greetings Dear Reader,

I am overcome sometimes with the depth of pain I feel over certain things.  When I ponder the people I know who do not have a real relationship with Jesus it hurts so deeply.  I am not talking about church or any trappings of religion.  I am talking about those who do not have or have abandoned faith in Christ and following him.

This is not a judgment but a condition of my heart.  It is not depression and it is not despair.  It is my true pain for those who do not follow in faith.  I weep in the mornings when I pray for them.  The tears fall silently as I consider the potential I see in them for showing Christ to others.  I see the pain they carry that Christ wishes to take for them; has already taken for them.

In those tears is also hope.  In those tears is the faith that Christ is faithful and knows what he has in mind for those who need him.  Diving deeper in faith means a release of control and the desire to control.  I cannot nor will I try to control what others do with faith and Christ.  I must follow and reflect and hope that others benefit from it.

I remember once visiting a friend of my Grandfather's.  They talked for about an hour.  As we were driving away my Grandfather was weeping.  I asked him why.  His simple answer, "Son, Mr. Clemmet cannot see his need for Jesus.  I know how much Jesus wants to be seen by Mr. Clemmet and it makes me sad."

Faith in Christ cannot be forced on anyone.  That always ends in blood.  But when I weep silently over those who need Christ as I pray for them things can happen.  I was speaking with a friend recently and we discussed those who need to see Christ as he is and follow him.  We were not judging them but sharing the burden in our hearts for them to have what we have.  We agreed that it is an area where just being honest with God is all we have.  All we can do is trust that Jesus meant it when he promised to draw all men to him.

Faith does not take away the pain and sorrow I feel for those I love who are far from faith.  It does, however, remind me to hope.  It reminds me to love.  It reminds me to be kinder and gentler.  I have nothing to offer but all that I am.  Today this includes my sorrow for those who need to follow Christ.  Perhaps my simple tears and silent prayer will reach someone.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Missing in Action

Greetings Dear Reader,

I must apologize for dropping away for the last five days.  Last Tuesday evening I came down with a fever and slept for most of the next three days.  I did not even awaken my computer until late Saturday evening.  Even then I realized I needed another day of rest were I to fulfill my obligations during the week.

I am back and own my blog five days of writing.  Today in diving deeper I wish to focus on the void we leave when our faith is not active at every moment.   The first thoughts I had when I fell ill was how unjust it seemed to get so sick when I had so many plans to do things well.  Then that chiding voice inside reminded me that it is not my plans that matter it is my obedience in faith. 

So as I swam in and out of my feverish sleep I would pray simple that my sleep helped focus my mind and spirit on Christ.  When I felt ill I would rehearse parts of the Psalms that comfort me.  I focused on using faith as my anchor through the illness.  It made my rest deeper and my waking times less miserable.  Even when I need to be MIA from life due to illness that does not mean that I cannot delve more deeply into Christ.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Who am I?

Greetings Dear Reader,

This is more an epistemological question than any other.  The knowledge of who I am as a being of faith is vital to my ability to have deeper faith.  It is easy to give those who wish to follow Christ a list of dos and don’ts.  I can easily make a list of behaviors that once checked for the day assures me that I am a “good Christian.”   There is a place for examining behavior to measure our faith and following but it is not the behavior that is the prime mover.

These things can move in two ways.  The first is that I do this or that because I want to follow Christ.  While this is good it is not where depth of faith is found.  It is the measure that other men use to evaluate the genuineness of our beliefs.  Men judge us based on what we do and all the more severely when we claim to follow Christ.  The problem is that one can do the things proscribed and still not have a heart that sees the source of these things.

While doing good things can earn us favor with men it can never give us favor with God.  If I am to deepen my faith I must realize who I am and use that as a motivation for what I do.  Deeper faith and closer following is much more about seeing who I am over and above what I do.

If I truly see that I am someone who God loves and accepts no matter what I have or have not done then I can learn that I have value.  It is what I see in my own being that must motivate me to do those things.  My heart must see that God wishes me to connect with him and then from that connection work out the message that he desires to connect with everyone. 

Faith and following must flow from a clear realization that I was made and redeemed for a purpose.  If my “good deeds” flow from my desire for others to connect to Christ then I become a prism to translate the light.  God does not need me for this but it is the way he has chosen. 

When we look at the deeds of “Christians” to measure our understanding of God we get it backwards and faith becomes difficult.  It is in connecting to the truth of who I am that I find the motivation and power to express this being to others by doing what is good.  I will always be frustrated if I look to men for my understanding of faith.  I will always frustrate others who look to me for a blueprint of what faith is.  I can only look to Christ and follow him as closely as I can.  I can only follow in faith with the firm realization that without Christ I have no true north.  I cannot find who I am outside of him.  “For in him we live and move and have our being.”

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – What Does Faith Do?

Greetings Dear Reader,

James makes it clear that faith cannot be seen.  It can only be evidenced in what we do that is an act of faith or because of our belief.   So if I wish a deeper faith I need to consider what faith does.  Since no one can see my faith I must exhibit by my actions being more faith centered.

Now I am not going to suddenly decide that I can fly by faith and then jump off of a building.  I am sure that this would work if it was what God wished me to do.  It is more that I follow Christ by less sight and more faith.  This includes not looking for signs, looking for a path, or using my own insight.  It means being in tune with Christ more deeply and following that.  So how does that happen?

I hope to get to more practical aspects of that later but I think first there is a heart matter that must be addressed.  Will I be satisfied to follow if I do not understand?  Will be willing to follow when things seem to be going wrong?  Will I still cling to faith when all around me insist that it is irrelevant? 

If God insists that we are justified to him by faith then the answer must be yes.  When my Sons were young I tried to help them understand faith through a song that seems simplistic yet is true.  I have included it at the end.

So often I want to know the path before I walk it.  That is not faith or following.  I fear that I have lost years of simple joy because of this irrational need.  The need is irrational because it is not faith.  Christ made it clear to Nicodemus that those carried by the Spirit are like that wind.  One cannot know where it comes from or where it is going.  In my heart this is thrilling and in my mind it is terrifying. 

Too often have I been dependent on knowing what is next and how things will unfold at the expense of following Christ more closely.  I think that answer to what faith does is simple.  The answer is that I need to be happy not to know where things will lead and to follow by faith.  I still need to be responsible for my obligations.  I still need to act with wisdom.  I do, however, need to realize that my desire to know and plan is much less necessary than I believe it to be. 

So as I seek a deeper faith I must release my desire to know that I am financially, socially, and practically secure.  I must not be foolish but I must move toward total dependence on Christ and following him.  That’s what faith must do.

That’s What Faith Must Be – Michael Card

To hear with my heart

To see with my soul

To be guided by a hand I cannot hold

To trust in a way that I cannot see

That's what faith must be

When the universe fell from His fingertips

He decided He wanted some fellowship

But the man and the woman would not submit

So He made a better way

When the moment was right He sent His own Son

And He opened the way so that everyone

Could have hope and believe that when time was done

He'd be able to make us one

To hear with my heart

To see with my soul

To be guided by a hand I cannot hold

To trust in a way that I cannot see

That's what faith must be

Now I understand that there is a key

It's Jesus in me, a reality

That God is in Christ and that Christ's in me

That with faith I see what is unseen

To hear with my heart

To see with my soul

To be guided by a hand I cannot hold

To trust in a way that I cannot see

That's what faith must be

That's what faith must be

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Intimacy

Greetings Dear Reader,

I do not for a moment want to give the impression that this effort for a deeper faith is an easy one.  I feel tattered and torn; weary and worn.  The area of intimacy is very difficult for me.  I do not mean sexual intimacy but rather the elusive unconditional intimacy that people share when they share God’s love.

Add to that the knowledge that I can only have deeper faith if I have a deeper bond of intimacy with Christ and things get very tense.  I realize that if I make the inner changes I wish to make it means there are also some larger external change that will be a natural byproduct of the changes.

The truth is I wish I had chosen this journey twenty years ago.  Many other lives might have benefited from it.  I was feeling very alone in this part of my efforts until I asked a dear friend to pray for me.  The response from this friend makes me weep with longing for the realization of the words every time I read them.  Here is what this friend said to me.

Abba really wants you to know just how proud of you he is, and just how pleased he is with you. He delights in you, he delights in your fittings, your heart, and the way you think. You are the apple of his eye. The word I hear over you for 2013 is Intimacy. He is drawing you into greater intimacy with him. I basically see a picture of him coming to you, running to you, and enveloping you into his heart, where you are surrounded by him. By Love. By acceptance

I so long for an intimacy with Christ that I have not felt since I was very young.  I realize this will blow apart my life in ways I do not imagine.  I realize the danger and risk but I also know the rewards are beyond my comprehension.  Too long have I feared real intimacy and settled for a life that gets by.  So I am diving deep even though it feels like already out of air.  For those of you who pray; please spare some time in prayer for me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Dissatisfaction

Greetings Dear Reader,

I love peaches.  They are probably my favorite food in all of known creation.  I have had peaches from all over the world.  I am particular to the peaches that are grown in Georgia.  I buy them buy the bushel and preserve them so I can enjoy them all year long.  Any time that any one has asked me to try any other peach I am left dissatisfied.  My mind compares them to the wonderful orbs I buy from Tree-Ripe when they journey to Wisconsin each summer.   Those peaches take me back to summers with my Grandfather in Georgia.  I am so thankful that I live in a place where I can get my beloved Georgia peaches.

I realize that I sound a little obsessed about peaches.  I probably am.  More important is that I realize that I must have the same level of dissatisfaction over my faith.  I must be someone who prizes depth of faith with same level of exclusive discontent that I prize those peaches.  Depth of faith comes from constantly wanting to believe more deeply and broadly. 

I must remain dissatisfied with my faith until it has sway over every area of my being.  I must become so immersed in walking by faith that everything is a natural discussion over if the next act is following or floundering.  As a writer my heart’s desire is to choose every word out of faith that this is the right word to choose.  That said, I wish to assure you that all grammatical and spelling errors are mine and not God’s.

I hope you can see the logic in what I am saying.  I must be dissatisfied with anything less than following by faith.  I must be discontent with anything that gets in the way of my relationship with God.  When I let other things come between me and my pursuit of Christ it weakens my faith.

To get back to the peach analogy, I would submit that I have had times when I was given peaches of lesser worth as a gift by well-meaning friends.  I ate them and found a level of enjoyment in them.  They were after all peaches.  Then I ate another Georgia peach and was reminded that nothing touches my soul in the area of food the way that those peaches do.  This is how I want to pursue a deeper faith.  Even when I have tasted a good peach I always want another one.  Even when I feel my faith is strong and broad I want to go deeper.  I want it to become the pursuit that drives all other pursuits.   

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good. Blessed is the person who takes refuge in him.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Is God Really That Good

Greetings Dear Reader,

If you've been burned, here’s what I've learned; the Lord’s not the one to blame. – Keith Green

Let me first say a resounding “yes” to the above question.   I do not for an instant wish to give the impression that there is any other valid answer to this question.  The question, however, is one that we ask every moment of every day.  It is the question Adam faced in the garden.  He had to choose between the goodness of the Father and what Eve had done.  He had to answer the question if God would forgive Eve so he could keep her.  Is God good enough to make a way for me to still have this relationship?

For me it is the constant question of is God good enough to provide for my emotional, social, and physical needs.  Do I really believe that God loves me enough?  When I say yes I do well.  When I say no I sin.  Instead of embracing this truth I try to make things work out the way I think is best.  This always fails.  Worse, when I am truly following Christ it gives those around me little confidence it that following.

If I do not live in every choice as if God is good then I hinder the ability of others to see that he is good.  If I do not make my faith and following choices based on the continued and eternal goodness of God then I will make bad choices.  I can only build a deeper faith if I put into that faith the sure knowledge that God is good to me.

After all, how can I have any hope if I do not believe that one with whom I wish to share my destiny is not good?  Is this not how we get disillusioned?  Is this not how faith fails?  I know it how interpersonal relationships fail.  When I stop believing that another person is good then I lose faith in him or her.  This is a root of divorce and division in families.  It is key to the way in which parents in children fail each other.  It is not those failures, however, that define the goodness of God.

But God is good.  He knows us intimately and will be good to us.  He knows the path ahead and wants us to believe that he is good and to accept that goodness by faith.  It is what he asked of Adam.  It is what he asked of Israel even when they were enslaved in Babylon.   It is what Christ asks in the Sermon on the Mount.  It is his desire that I trust in his goodness and follow in faith.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster plans to give you a future filled with hope. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will hear you. When you look for me, you will find me. When you wholeheartedly seek me, I will let you find me, declares the LORD. I will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I've scattered you, declares the LORD. I will bring you back from the place where you are being held captive.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Diving Deeper – Faith as a Cornerstone

Greetings Dear Reader,

I wonder how much time a relationship requires to be healthy.  If I hope to maintain friendships I must spend time with those friends.  If I hope to stay healthy I must eat right and exercise.  If I desire something I must work towards it.  Faith and the depth of it are no different.

If I wish for my faith to be deep I must immerse my life in faith.  If I proceed from the assumption that my relationship with Christ is based on faith then I must ask what role faith plays in every aspect of following Christ.   I do not want to belabor this too much but there are some very key phrases in the New Testament concerning the place of faith in following.

Rom 14:23 But if a person has doubts and still eats, he is condemned because he didn't act in faith. Anything that is not done in faith is sin.

Gal 3:11 No one receives God's approval by obeying the law's standards since, "The person who has God's approval will live by faith."

Hebrews 11:6 No one can please God without faith. Whoever goes to God must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

There is context behind all three of these verses that bears reading.  I am not pulling these out of that context but rather the context in each case leads to these statements as a conclusion.  Since, therefore, faith is central to following Christ I must give it the prominence it demands. 

If my faith is to be deeper it must be a prime mover in all that I do.  My work, my play, and my undetermined must all be governed by faith.  It makes the statement “in good faith” so much more powerful and weighty.   I must assure that any step I take is done in good faith that I am taking it to follow Christ more closely. 

I must examine what this does in terms of my job.  I must look at my writing in the shadow of this.  I must understand that free time must be used in faith that I am following.  If in Christ I hope to live and move and have my being then I must acknowledge that there are no secular issues.  This is a very hard but essential place to begin.

Diving Deeper – First Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I am determined to dive deeper in my faith.  One of you lovingly asked how I am going to do this.  Over the next few days I hope to map this out so that it is clear and practical.

That alone seems like an impossible task.  One dose not easily make a map to that which is based on faith.

I am not going to give any pabulum solutions here.  None exist.  I expect this to be difficult and taxing.  I fully believe this will be painful and rigorous but the rewards will be undeniable.  One of the motivators has been the challenges I have felt to my faith over the last year.  When asked why I do things that are not expected in the area of kindness or giving it is automatic for me to relate them to my faith and in following Christ.

I realize there are areas where that is not true.  I want to begin there.  Not with a specific list but with the why factor.  Why do I do anything I do?  What is my motivation in things?  I was recently criticized by a friend for missing church to care for my Grandsons when both his parents have to work on a Sunday.  On balance is my ninety minutes at church more important to following Christ that week or is giving peace of mind and love to my family of greater import.

My motivation is the question.  Why do I do it?  I do it because of my love for Christ, my Son and Daughter-in-law, and my Grandsons.  I want to translate this motivation to every area of my life.  I want to live and move and have my being in Christ and in following him.  The adoption of this attitude is dangerous.  There are things I do that I cannot say are a complete living out of my faith.  I will have to find a way to temper or if necessary abandon those things.

I hope to stay away from too much language of Zion as I discuss this.  I hope to keep the cookies on the shelf where everyone can reach them.  I am taking steps today to live with greater intention toward this end of deep faith.  A Dear Reader reminded me of a verse that applies to those who follow Christ:  John 3:8 “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you don't know where the wind comes from or where it's going. That's the way it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”

This means I do not know where this will take me but I know I must go on the journey.  Travel with me if you wish and we may both be better for it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

Once Upon a Year

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have several things that I begin today or accomplish today.  All of them are things I do annually on January first.  Most of them are mundane but necessary.  This is the day I update my will, close out last year’s household budget, and make some long term decisions for the year.

As I do each of these things I pray and meditate on the blessings I have.  As I do each of these things I look for ways to be more faithful in following Christ.  The mundane is holy.  When I do anything I must do it in mind of my obligation to follow Christ in all things.  As I steward what I have I must assure that I possess with full understanding that nothing is mine.  I move forward with total knowledge that everything is on loan from God and I must care for it in that way.

For those who do not always get my subtlety I am not simply updating the document that relays my wishes should I die.  I update the intentions in my heart as well.  I look for places where what I want is not in line with what God wishes from me.  If my will, desires, and intentions are not aligned with God’s then I have no hope of success. 

So once upon a year and prepare the mundane to sanctify it for the entire year.  I must assure that I treat it that way daily if I am to walk in deeper faith and understanding of who Christ is for me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."