Red Winged Black Birds

Greetings Dear Readers,

I woke up Friday morning miserable and heartsick. I met with Avalon to discuss some things that need to be settled. The time was pleasant and she is a beautiful as ever but it reopened all the pain of her absence. I noticed she had taken the step of removing her wedding ring. It was a note of finality that pierced deep and is staying long. Maybe I am a sap, but I still love her as much if not more than the day we wed.

Friday mornings used to be the best. For a few years I was able to have breakfast with my Son Maxim. Schedules change and things move and our breakfasts have become hard to schedule. I do not know if he will ever fathom how much those weekly meetings mean to me. With little anticipation or excitement, I plodded through my morning at the house. I donned clothes after it was light and made my way out to the car. I noticed that the morning smelled like spring. It was that earthy damp smell that is both pungent and sweet at the same time.

I stated the car, cranked up Cross Eyed Mary on my stereo and began my 7 minute commute to work. I was deep into the magnificent bass line of the song and winging my way through the traffic, doing my best to close the door to the bits of me that were hurting. I remember praying that God would give me the grace to not let my hurt spill over into my interactions with anyone at work just as I was exiting on the street that lead to my job.

On the side of the road by the exit ramp a flash of red caught my eye. It was a Red Winged Black Bird. As I zipped down the ramp I saw another, then another. They were back. They at least had decided that the siege of Wisconsin winter was over. Their contrast against the still brown foliage was stark and elegant. These creatures are so beautiful to me and their presence at that moment was like God whispering directly into my soul. He was telling me that winter ends and life returns and that there is hope. It is not our pain that defines us, but rather who we are in the midst of that pain. I arrived at work with my eyes off of my woes and my heart ready to share life with those around me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn