The Stone I Carry

Greeetings Dear Reader,

Many years ago I made a promise to someone. I should say, rather that we exchanged a promise. Each of us gave the other a small smooth hematite that we would always carry as a token or our promise to always carry the other one with us. She has moved on to other ventures and out of my life, but still every morning I slip the stone into my pocket. When I feel the stone’s weight I pray for her. When it is cold I warm it. When she is heavy on my mind I hold it. When there are moments I wish I could share with her I roll the stone over in my pocket.

Some days it is difficult to take the stone with me. Some days its weight is burdensome and drags my heart toward the ground. On those days I think to leave the stone behind but I am reminded that I gave my pledge. I recall that the pledge was unconditional and made from my heart. It was based on my love and not contingent are her many promises to stay.

On days when it is the most difficult; when it feels like lifting the stone to my pocket will sink me into the earth and bury me forever beyond the eyes of men, I recall something profound. Like that hematite that breaks my heart and threatens my resolve I have so often left Christ behind when he pledged his all to me and I my all to him. He still carries me every day, and more so on the days when I abandon him for other pursuits and endeavors.

I cannot begin to fathom the depth of love he must have for me to keep me with him when I have been so repugnant toward his love for me. So on those days when the weight of this small stone crushes my heart, I put it in my pocket all the quicker lest I weaken and refuse to carry it another day. The power that lets me life it is knowledge and love. The knowledge that Christ loves me is the first and that he carries me as I am is the second.

So on those days when my heart is raw and my pain is deep set clear into my bones, I lift this stone of promise and walk knowing that I share the merest glimpse of what Christ tolerates so that he may carry us home to himself and a better life with him.

I made the promise. I spoke the vow. I will not violate no matter what another says or does. It is how Christ treats me and so how I must treat others.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."