Too much Saul and Not Enough David

Greetings Dear Reader,

I hate it when I forget where I came from.  The journey toward Christ for me should be a constant upward slope of increasing selflessness and Christ likeness.  Instead it looks more like seismometer living on the San Andreas Fault.  I so often find that I am in the midst of some emotional or personal quake and have lost all sense of the direction and purpose of my journey.

I recently reread a book, A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards.  I was reminded that even in the midst of his failures, David; King of Israel was considered “a man after God’s own heart.”  This is truly who I long to be.  So often instead I become prideful and arrogant like his predecessor Saul.  I forget how vital it is to remain small in my own eyes.

I need to remember that even when he failed David remained a constant in his devotion to God.  Whenever a prophet or circumstance pointed out David’s he immediately acknowledged it and reached to God for forgiveness and restoration.  His heart was constantly looking for ways to celebrate who God is and he honestly acknowledged his passion for God in the Psalms.  In these writings we also see how frustrated David became with the falleness of the world.

It is delusional to think that I will not fail God and sin.  It is madness to imagine that I can be perfect.  What I must do is insistently shorten the time between my failure and my recovery.  I must always own and stop my sin when I become conscious of it.  I must see that when I think I am on track that I am in danger of failing.  I must remain small in my own eyes and allow God to be the one who is great within me.

Even when I do things that are good I must realize that those acts do not come from me but from Christ in me working out his reclamation of the world.  I must remember that no matter the depth of my pain or broken heartedness that I am not alone.   I journey with one who knows the road and longs for me to miss the pot holes and sloughs of despair.  I just have to chase the heart of God and the rest will take care of itself.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."