It Ain't Yours to Throw Away – First Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I am not a fan of country music.  However, every once in a while there is a song that transcends genre and preferences.  Content and context are what matter when it comes to music.  As I have said before there is madness in me that cares for itself by constantly playing a soundtrack in my head as I walk through life. 

Yesterday I saw someone I love that I have not seen in a bit and this song from the show Nashville popped into my head.  It got me thinking about some important considerations as I turn my heart toward the next few months.  As I prepare All Hallows Eve, the Thanksgiving Season, and Advent I consider that things that this involves in my journey with Christ.

Whether it is moments or lifetimes we have been given each as a gift.  We live in a world where increasingly we think our lives are our own to do with as we please.  This is such a great lie.  As much as I want my “freedom” and “independence” that is not what I have.  What I have is free will within the confines of world where the rules are made by God.

My belief or unbelief will not change this.  My life may contain the freedom to make my own choices but only in the context of rules and a framework make by God.  My life, my love, and my gifts are all components of a vessel that God armed and engined for is purposes. 

In the journey toward God we are to walk a narrow path.  The things I am given for that journey have a purpose.  Those things are not mine.  They are on loan from God.  They are not mine to throw away.  Whether I call it ceasing the day or sucking the marrow out of life I have an obligation to God to use those gifts.

As I prepare to hallow, show gratitude, and celebrate I must ponder the things that are mine to care for but not mine to throw away.  I have thrown away things I should not have and I have been thrown away by others.  This life; this journey is not mine to throw away.  I will, therefore, ponder the things this includes for a bit.  Walk and talk with me for a bit if you will Dear Reader.  As always, your thoughts on this are precious to me.  I promise to treasure them and not throw them away. 

It Ain’t Yours to Throw Away – Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio

That same road that brought you here

Will sure as hell take you home

The life you left behind will have you back

You're tired of paying dues in worn out shoes

And Broadway blues

And any fool will tell you

The damn ol' deck is stacked

What if you're just a vessel?

And God gave you something special

It ain't yours to throw away

It ain't yours to throw away

Every time you open up your mouth

Diamonds come rolling out

It ain't yours to throw away

No...

And all of the players, the movers, and shakers

The story maker suits have gone home

You drew the last slot

You thought it was your shot

But now it's just one more chance blown

What if you're just a vessel?

And God gave you something special

It ain't yours to throw away

It ain't yours to throw away

Every time you open up your mouth

Diamonds come rolling out

It ain't yours to throw away

No...

And our town is cold as January

Life comes true, and dreams get buried

Every day...

Destiny won't be denied

It ain't yours to throw away

No, it ain't yours to throw away

'Cause every time you open up your mouth

Diamonds come rolling out

It ain't yours to throw away

It ain't yours to throw away ...

Throw away

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."

A Stack of Books and A Leap of Faith

Greetings Dear Readers,

Very often we want things for a good reason. Sometimes, along the way the wanting of the thing takes the place of the reason that we want it. For years I have wanted set of books that I only used briefly in the mid 80's. Over the years of wanting them the depth of my understanding of their purpose gave way to just wanting to possess them.

As my beloved wife Avalon leaves me for what she thinks is a better life, I have asked the same question of my feelings for her. Do I really love her or am I just trying to hold onto something I want having forgotten what it truly is? The true and harsh answer is both. I want MY WIFE. I do not want to go through the rejection, betrayal, violation of promises, and pain involved in a woman who vowed to stay with me for life deciding she does not have to abide by that promise. The last I checked I am not dead.

On the other hand, I truly do love her and know the meaning of that love. I have listened to others, as I go through this process, say things about Avalon that they would not say while she was in my life. The hard part is that the things that are being said are true. They are not pretty nor are they things I would allow myself to think about her. As I admit that there are some very unlovely things that are true about my departing spouse, I also realize that beyond on them I truly love her. It was an error to blind myself to those things and to not seek Christ's healing of my fears and her flaws in our marriage. It is necessary to never stop loving her, to see her as she is and constantly remember why I loved her from the beginning.

It is also necessary, for the sake of my own healing, to see her as she is, warts and all. I have done a good job of owning my own sin and failures. I have not been willing to remember that she is just as fallen as I am and that she has chosen a path contrary to the expressed desires of Christ. I must love her even though she rends me. I must remember the real reasons I loved her from the beginning and no matter what she does, see her as she is and continue to lover her.

I recently bought the books I spoke of earlier. I can see them from where I sit. I have delved deeply into them and remembered why I love them so much. They have something to teach me on every page. I bought them to remind me that you do not go into things so that you can blind yourself to what they are, but rather in faith see things as they are and work to make them more as God intended. Each time I study from my new books I intend to check on my faithfulness to seeing things as they are and not as I imagine or wish them to be. I will still look toward what they can become in Christ, but will do my best not to be blind to the wounds that need healing first. I failed Avalon in not seeing what she needed and I failed my sons in not seeing how those needs effected them and my relationship with them.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn