Wondering Aloud About my Faith

Greetings Dear Reader,

By faith one was commended
For the sacrifice he made
Another out of holy fear
Built an ark the world to save
Another left his home land
And as a stranger he’d reside
But none received the promise then
So in faith they died - Michael Card

I have commented before that one of my weaknesses is that faith comes so easily for me. Yes you read that correctly. I see the ease of believing that I have as a weakness. It is a weakness because I selfishly forget that it is not the same for others. I have so often told others with great insensitivity to use their faith. I have been trying very diligently to overcome this malady. I regret that I have harmed others in my short sighted understanding of this area.

Beyond that I am growing in my understanding of just how central faith is to all that we do in following Christ. We are following something unseen yet not unknown. Our faith in all its insanity is still reasonable. It is not a platitude to say that we must use our faith to overcome all the adversity we faith. We still need to plan, work, and do those things that are wise and practical. We also need to use faith to shield us from the things in the world that cause hurt, doubt, anger, and fear.

If I do not do things with faith at the center of my doing then I am not following Christ. Christ insists that we do things that seem literally insane. It is not logical to love my enemies. It not logical to put myself in the path of those who have hurt my heart. It is not logical to treat others with forbearance and kindness in return for their treating me badly. None of this is logical but it is reasonable.

The truths of obeying Christ’s example are borne out repeatedly. When I respond in love to unkindness it is disarming. When I reach out to those who reject me then it makes a difference. When I depend on Christ and not others for my wellbeing then I am well. It is choosing that whether I receive the promise or not, I will die in faith if necessary.

This is not a martyr’s plea but rather a practical understanding of the ultimate result of faith. If I, moment by moment live in the belief that following Christ will result in things ultimately being better, then I can change the world around me. I do not need to obtain, possesses, or protect. I do not need to indulge my own greed. I do not have to win approval of others. I do not need to control. I do not need to get even or take revenge. I do not need to harbor the ills done to me. I need only to follow; to journey with Christ.

Faith understands and alters
In assures and calms our fears
It can shut the mouths of lions
And make sense of scars and tears
We persevere in hope
And with conscience clean and clear
We walk this fallen wilderness
With salvation’s pioneer – Michael Card

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Strangers and Aliens

Greetings Dear Reader,

I wonder at the fervor of the argument that rages over illegal aliens. A dear friend recently posted the words inscribed on our Statue of Liberty on his social web page. I was stunned at how far they are from the truth of the attitude we seem to extend to those who are simply trying to honestly find a better life.

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Do we really think we make our nation stronger by forcing people who work hard, are willing to do jobs we do not want to do, and who could make this nation their nation lurk in the shadows? Have we not learned anything from the errors of our past?

I am a conservative man and do not mind being thus. I do, however, disagree with most conservatives, especially those who claim to follow Christ on this issue. I cannot reconcile refusing to share the great bounty we have as Americans with any form of Christ-likeness. I know that there are those who come here will ill intent. That does not justify not showing love and succor to those who come looking for a chance to build better lives. We are mission bound to embrace the needs of others. What more basic need is there other than that of a safe home.

Someone recently said to me that no one truly embraces the loving nature of Christ and emulates it without the world trying to kill them. I would think that Christ followers would realize that we are also aliens and strangers. We are not home in America or any other country. Balancing that truth with the command to love our neighbors as ourselves means that we are honor bound to treat those who wish to live in our land with love, acceptance, and deference. We are assured of a future home as we follow Christ. How can we dare deny a temporal home to those who ask? There was a time when it was the followers of Christ who demanded social justice in this nation. I am ashamed when I hear someone claim to be Christian and then hear them speak ill of those who are desperate for better lives. There is no argument that supersedes the command to love others and provide for them as we can. We have so much more than we need. What would it say to the rest of the world if Christ followers in the United States stepped up to provide succor for those in need? How would it change the view of us?

The stigma of strangers lost in a strange land,
In a fallen world that's not our home,
But we are not homeless prodigals here,
Because we have someplace to go. – Michael Card

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Why am I Surprised?

Greetings Dear Reader,

Pilgrims of passion we follow the One,

Who holds out a cross and a crown.

We travel a dark road that has but one Light,

For we have here no lasting town. – Michael Card

In pondering the challenges of following Christ one of the things I have never mastered is my surprise when my choices to do what is right bring me ridicule and condemnation. Sometimes I have been the one to cause my own grief by standing for what is right in the wrong way. Beyond that, there I times when I stand for what is right, in the right way it still brings a level of contempt from others. What is wrong is that I am surprised by it.

I am so quick to embrace the blessings and benefits or my relationship with Christ. I am also very quick to hang on to things that give me comfort but are temporal. I am often tempted to cling to things that are not healthy for me. As I have begun to look more carefully at the things that truly matter, it is rarely things that matter.

The two ponderings merge into a single truth. I am a traveler and if I am to succeed in traveling I must travel lighter. I am a stranger or alien wherever I go and I should only have that which is necessary with me. I need to remember that strangers are not always welcome. I need to remind myself daily that the one I follow promises both joy and suffering in the journey. I cannot accept the former without the latter.

I must also remember that the road I travel is dark and dangerous. Man is not basically good. All mankind is depraved and the surprise should be when we do good. Instead I tend to get enamored over things that are fleeting and temporary. I put my hope in people and then am surprised when they let me down. I cannot count on people but I should always hope in them. I should expect the best from others but count on Christ to sustain me.

The dark road is all there is except for the light that beacons us. So I approach giving my best to people who I know will hurt me focused not on the road, the danger, or the hoped for return, but focused on Christ. I must see him clearly with both cross and crown. I must see the scars and the smile. No matter what is up the road Christ is already there and knows what I need. All I need do is look for him and all else will become what it is meant to become. We are after just pilgrims; fellow travelers. We are but strangers in a very strange land.
Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Price of the Pain 2 – A response to AK part 2

I had begun to attempt a response to AK’s comment on my post “Price of the Pain.” Here is his/her original comment. I will be taking up my answer at the part where it asks… “And also, what if what you believe was wrong?”

Interesting and insightful though I do wonder about when a family member/friend tries to reconnect after an absence of your friendship. Should you welcome them with open arms in hoping they have changed for the better.. And also, what if what you believed was wrong? As in the reason and basis you withheld that friendship. I know enough that things are never as they appear to be on occasion. We use the best judgment we have but we may not always be correct. I know sometimes we have blinders on as well and see what we want to see instead of being open to their explanations.

I know there are a lot of what ifs in the world and no one circumstance is the same but I hope you can touch on this and share some insight as I know most of us have been thru it at some time or another.

Best Wishes, AK

The past couple of years have refined what I believe in so many areas that much of what I believed about dealing with people has been revisited and redefined. I believed for a long time some things I was taught by well meaning men about relationships and how they should work. In his mercy Christ has shown me how to adjust those views so that they require me to be more loving and more in tune with the needs of others. The reasons for withholding friendship or love no longer matter.

Disliking someone is an exercise in approving my own preferences or wants over those of another. If I am dealing with someone that hurts me I must again refer back to the words of Christ that I am to love others as I do myself and that whatever I do to the least of his brethren I do to him. As important is that I do not adopt these behaviors with the expectation of reciprocation. I cannot serve self and model the love that Christ has for others.

My conscience is clear that I have attempted to apply what I knew of God in time past. It is also clear that God has shown me a new depth in loving those he loves in the way he loves them. What matters is my immediate willingness to change; to alter my thinking, attitudes, and actions so that they draw in those who for some selfish reason I hold at a distance or reject outright. Doing anything less than accepting others with all my heart is an indulgence of pride, anger, and fear that distances me from my attempts to follow Christ.

No one can love God with all heart, soul, and spirit and see any other human as undeserving of kindness, gentleness, and love. I currently face three different situations where I must purposely apply this truth. They differ greatly and all require me to set aside what I think is “right” in the name of showing deference to Christ’s example. I know that I will be hurt by some of this. I know that it is easier to withhold my heart and keep my feelings safely secluded. I also know that doing so will only foster more damage and hurt. I must allow God to mold me and use me as he wishes even though the potential damage is great. After all what good is faith if I do not use it to reach out to those whom God places in my path? Thank you for your questions AK. I hope this is some help. I know pondering your comments has been for me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Price of the Pain 2 – A response to AK part 1

Greetings Dear Reader,

AK asked some insightful questions about this post and I am answering him/her here. Please remember that this is not advice or instruction but just a response from my limited insight and experience. That said, I find the questions one that many may ponder and few discuss.

Here is AK’s comment as it was submitted. In part one I will address the first bit that is bolded here.

Interesting and insightful though I do wonder about when a family member/friend tries to reconnect after an absence of your friendship. Should you welcome them with open arms in hoping they have changed for the better.. And also, what if what you believed was wrong? As in the reason and basis you withheld that friendship. I know enough that things are never as they appear to be on occasion. We use the best judgment we have but we may not always be correct. I know sometimes we have blinders on as well and see what we want to see instead of being open to their explanations. I know there are a lot of what ifs in the world and no one circumstance is the same but I hope you can touch on this and share some insight as I know most of us have been thru it at some time or another.

Best Wishes, AK

The first thing I would have to do in approaching this is examine myself as a Christ follower. Even though the question “what would Jesus do” has been worn out, misused, and mocked, in this instance it is a most valid question. How would Christ treat this individual? We cannot measure the mind of Christ without submitting to the commands that seeded this thread of discussion. We must love our neighbor as we love ourselves. We must treat others as we would hope to be treated in a given situation. So the only example I can think of to answer the question about welcoming with open arms is to refer to the story of the prodigal son. The father did welcome him with open arms and the brother who rejected him was corrected for his attitude.

Hoping that someone has changed may be an exercise in serving my own self interests. Christ does not tell us to follow him once we get our act together. He explains that it is the sick that need a physician. If I insist that some change before I give them my love or friendship, how is my attempt to reflect who Christ is going to be seen by them? I must be wise, kind, and gentle. No one’s sin is worse than mine. I have counted on others to accept me where I am and that should be what I give to others.

Our culture has taught us to see relationships as equal partnerships built on equitable give and take. I find that when I am determined to give to others without hope of return and without feeling like I am “sacrificing” for them that a mystical thing occurs. I do not need the proper response of the individual to feel satisfied. Satisfaction is found in following Christ and in a minute way being like him in that moment. It is more important that I love people where they are than that I protect myself. It is God’s responsibility to protect me, provide for me, and see to my emotional needs. There is no promise that I will not be harmed in following Christ. In fact there is a promise that the world will hate me if I truly follow Christ. It still seems like a great bargain.

I will address the rest of AK’s comment in my next post. I think that getting my head around how insanely simple this first part is may be enough for me to digest today. No one is more important to God than me in God’s eyes. He loves us all equally and wants us to work together to bring back all we can to his arms. I cannot love my brother, friend, or enemy if my arms are not always open to their return to them. I have failed often in this but I am learning.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

My Favorite Pipe

Greetings Dear Reader,

We had a week of chilled weather that turned on all my winter switches and pushed all my Christmas buttons. One of the things I look forward to is the first snow of the year. I smoke a pipe occasionally and one of those occasions is the first snow of the year. I have a favorite pipe. It is a curved Savinelli that is mellow and sweet. It was gift from someone that has left my life.

I have spent a great deal of time purging stuff from my life over the last couple of years. The things I keep are those that connect me to a person on some way. I have some rocks my eldest Son gave me when he was three. I also have a pencil holder that was the first gift my youngest Son ever got for me. I also have way too much stuff that I still need to set free.

Some things I keep but do not use because the memories they raise are too painful. For two years that pipe was one of those things. I have other pipes so my times of puffing and pondering were not abandoned. The Savinelli sat in it pouch protected from dust but unused. When the weather turned warm again this week I longed for the cold and then the snow, and then to my surprise, the Savinelli. I must be healing in places I do not realize.

Today the temperature will hit a record 84 degrees. The first snow of winter is a ways off. But I will use my Savinelli again this year. I will fill it with some Cavendish I have on reserve and sit quietly on my porch as the flakes fall. I will remember the good times and the love that brought that pipe to my hands. I will shed soft tears of joy over the beauty of the snow.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Who am I?

Greetings Dear Reader,

John 3:8 “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you don't know where the wind comes from or where it's going. That's the way it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

So often we find ourselves in situations that challenge who we are or seek to further define us. We plan our day, or we do not, and it unfolds as we move through it. Rarely do our plans and the actualization of the day coincide. Rarely do we do the things that we plan and often we plan things we never do. I so often head into work expecting to accomplish certain things in my day and perform specific duties and tasks. I have learned that the best way to assure that my day will hold many interruptions and side paths is to write down a list of things I wish to do.

We propose and God disposes. I plan and God laughs. I do not mean this in any disrespectful way, but rather I am learning just how short sighted I am when I look down the path. Last night I had planned my evening. I was emotionally tired and wished only an evening of rest. I had planned to have dinner with my Daughter and get home in time for some vegetative rest. I was blessed to run into my younger Son and a dear friend at the place where we were dining. So far the evening was unfolding just as I wished it to be. Then my Daughter mentioned that some dear friends of ours were in crisis.

I will only go into enough detail to give sensibility to the next events. This family is a large one; a father and mother with many daughters who have all befriended my Daughter Christmas and share much with her. She returns the favor by helping out with the younger children when she can. They are a family who mark their love for Christ at the center of all they do. This week and for some time the father is on the road earning a living for his family. The mother is holding the home together while he works.

Today a close member of their family had a stroke. Christmas told me about it dinner. At once I was compelled to help this family. We decided to offer for my Daughter to stay overnight to help with the wee children and give the mom a break. It was just what the family needed. We rushed home from dinner so that Christmas could collect an overnight bag and I could drop her off at the family’s home. When we arrived two of the younger girls came out to greet us. I had gotten to know the three year old whilst working on the family’s internet access.

While we stood chit chatting the three year old was being both shy and coy all at once. I was introduced to the mother’s mum. The three year old says at the top of her voice, pointing toward her own mother, “that is my mom.” Always drown to young children, I pointed to her oldest sister and asked who she was. The little one said her name but was retreating toward her shyness. She also recognized my Daughter. I asked her the obvious question, “Who am I?” Without missing a single beat this innocent child spoke a single word in full voice. She looked up at me and said, “God.”

The responses all around were funny, poignant, and interesting. I knew that I was not God, but to this little girl, all innocence and wonder, she believed that I was. What that meant to her I will never understand but what I knew was that what I said next would matter. I assured her that I was not, but something dawned on me. For that family, in a very minute way I was being the face of God by delivering help in their time of need. I have no delusions of grandeur or a messiah complex. I do yearn with all my heart to reflect Christ as much as possible in all that I do. This sweet little girl’s innocent honest answer reached to the root of my soul and caused it to kneel. I never know how my plans will turn out.

The evening unfolded much differently than I planned. I knew I was doing what was right but it is becoming a natural response. If I let the Spirit of Christ drive me then I will be what I need to be in the moment. I am content to be that even if it means being humbled by a three year old who sees God in me. Three year olds are rarely wrong about these things.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

Humility and Greatness

Greetings Dear Reader,

Those of you who know me well know that I do not often see greatness in athletes, politicians, or actors. I enjoy baseball, debates, and movies but seldom attach “star quality” to individuals. Today, however, I am driven to raise up someone if just for a moment, but that is beginning to near to the end.

Journey back with me for a moment to autumn of 1985. My eldest is six months old and I am still finding my way in many areas of who I am. I am running from God although if asked I am just taking a break from the stresses of the previous years. I am trying to replace my love of God with a love of money and it is going badly. In the midst of this maelstrom lies a moment that will begin a tradition. A simple announcement is made. A man has decided to take a job in Atlanta, where I live, for the sake of his family. It is not the job he wants but it is in his field and necessary for the sake of his wife and child.

It starts me thinking that I need to consider the same things in my choices. I do not have as noble a success but some of the good I have done attaches to that moment. Later that same man gets the job he wants. It is a demotion but it is the job he is destined to do well. Over the last twenty-five years I have had nine jobs and lived in four different states. One of the constants in my own chaos has been that man in Atlanta and his work. He has benefited me in some way every year for a quarter century.

My Sons have never been cognoscente of a year when this man did not give his very best to benefit us. They will enter a new era as this man quietly moves along the path toward other pursuits. The lessons of his life are not lost on me. He knew how to stand up for what he thought was right. He knew how to take the long view. He knew how to begin with the end in mind.

My love of baseball is ingrained in my love of God, my family, and resides in a place in my soul that I cannot always understand. Yesterday was the last regular season game for Braves Manager Bobby Cox. For twenty-five years as General Manager and Manager he has given his very best to his team, his players, and his fans.

It would be easy to dismiss this writing as just a sports fan saddened by change. It is so much more than that. This man knew how to win. He always talked about winning the World Series not just about winning games. He always began with the end in mind. He knew that his family mattered more than the job he was best at doing.

An example of his understanding of excellence was the way in which he changed the Braves minor league farm system. He built excellence into the basement so that it would benefit the penthouse. He knew how to build toward the long term and that is why he has 15 seasons of 90 games won. It is why he skippered a team to fourteen consecutive pennants.

I hope the Braves win it all but that is not what matters. Baseball remembers. Bobby Cox will always be remembered as one of the great team managers. Beyond that there will be those who remember his character and consistency as a man. Thank you Mr. Cox for all you gave us. Thank you for touching the lives of my sons and for the moments we all got to cheer because of your excellence. Thank you for a lifelong example of the balance between humility and greatness that can be ours if we wish it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

The Vigil – Part 1

Greetings Dear Reader,

Waiting for flame in eye of night, I am the fuel for your fire
Light calls ever unto light. Make me a fleshen pyre.
Touch my lips with the altering coal; leave your shining upon my soul.
Zion shall ever be my goal; Zion the telling of light. – Kemper Crabb

I saw my first Christmas decorations at Sam’s Club last week. Our church has begun reminding us of the need to plan to participate in the Advent Conspiracy. I recently added my soon to be born Grandson to my Christmas list and have already bought a present for him. This year I am approaching the Advent season with a slightly different perspective. I always move toward Christmas with excitement for the season. This year I want to pay special attention to my need to be vigilant over the need of others to see Christ in the days. During October I intend to keep a sort of vigil, preparing myself with prayer and pondering.

My first thoughts on this are that I must sharpen my focus. I must look first to how I can be more Christ centered in my actions so that they point toward redemption. The Advent of Christ is for the purpose of redeeming man. I need to see how the things unfolding in my life all are a part of this purpose. I need to focus on how my journey toward Christ is influenced by others and how I influence the journeys of others as well.

In increasing my intent in being kind and loving to others I have had to become more vigilant of every thought and word. This by extension requires revisiting my purpose in every tradition and action. Tradition is not bad if it is bathed in good purpose. I know why I do most of the things I do but I must also pass that on to my children. I must also embrace the changes that this Christmas will bring as the needs of my eldest Son and his Bride change. Traditions that I hold dear must be replaced by seeing to the needs of my children if necessary.

Every step toward the celebration of Christ’s Advent must be one of vigilance for me. Expanding my time in focusing on purpose and not just practice will allow me see the true needs of others more clearly. Increasing my practice of seeing every act as one of opportunity to demonstrate Christ’s love is a vigilance that can consume in the most lovely of ways. The key is to keep this vigil at the forefront; to journey with a Crusader’s Hymn on my lips and Christ’s love for me and others in my heart. He must increase and I must decrease.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

The Price of Pain

Greetings Dear Reader,

In response to my last post someone asked a question that I feel I must address. “A Distant Reader” asked about the pain involved in following Christ in his example to love? I will repost his/her comment for the sake of others.

I'm facing a similar storm, one which I have faced for many years, and you raise an issue I often wrestle with as well. I have been using the love-at-all-costs approach for many years with a particular family member, the result of which has been a lot of pain. I have finally withdrawn over the last year, not entirely, but to a safe distance. Although I wish things were different, I feel that what I'm withholding isn't really friendship at all, because this person only abuses my friendship. Therefore, in allowing myself to be hurt, I have also indulged this person's exploitative approach to relationships. Isn't there a point where the best way to love someone is to withdraw your support from their unhealthy habits? Or am I just using that as an excuse to protect myself from more pain?I hope your situation is better than mine.

I pray that opening your old wounds allows them to heal. - A Distant Reader

I will not presume to judge Distant Readers situation but I do intend to address some of the questions asked. We cannot support the unhealthy habits of others but we tend to ignore things and live in a pretense for the sake of “peace.” When we see someone with a fault we are to restore them in love. When we allow someone to mistreat us without lovingly pointing out the injustice of the action, we promote the bad behavior. If the individual abuses our kindnesses we should realize first that we do the same to Christ daily. I cannot measure myself against how others behave in following Christ. I must measure myself against how Christ would treat them.

We do not have to allow others to harm us. My sons have taken great pains to show me behaviors of mine that cause them pain. They have mostly done it in a spirit of love and restoration. Their not putting up with my bad behavior has allowed us to grow closer.

We do not have the right to reject others. We do have the obligation to avoid the pretense of things being right when they are not. I think it comes down to really talking to each other. When we restore someone in a spirit of love we can end painful cycles of interaction that have harmed us for years.

When we do not honestly seek to love others as God loves them, including gently showing them how they cause harm, we scab over dirty wounds and they fester. When we honestly, lovingly discuss the harm people cause to us we give them a graceful opportunity for change. We can make it clear that we will not tolerate mistreatment but that we still love the individual.

There is price to the event. Christ knew he would die. We are to take up our cross and follow him. It comes down to trusting the Christ will be sufficient for us as we risk all to show his love for others. I must believe that Christ knew what he was saying when the said that we must love others as we love ourselves. I cannot afford to reject anyone. I want others to lovingly restore me when I am at fault, so I cannot fail to do the same for them. I do not want others to reject me so I must not reject them. Ponder the marriages, friendships, and partnerships that could be saved if we truly treated others the way we wish to be treated, including gentle but honest communication about the things that hurt us.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."