Holy Week 2009 – Saturday – Watching for a Savior

Greetings Dear Reader

Friday - I’ve let myself be sealed in the tomb with him. The sun has set. The Son is dead. The darkness is complete. I will keep vigil over this body. I look at the hope that was whilst doubt and faith war for my heart. I wait for the scent of decay to come but it does not. I can still smell sweat and blood. The coolness of the tomb is comfortable as I crouch in a corner as far from the body as possible.

The darkness plays with my mind. I have already lost my sense of time. I think that I can make out the silhouette of the body but in truth I cannot even see my hand when waved in front of my face. I wish I had brought some water. I am thirsty.

Jesus said that whilst on the cross. They offered him gall and vinegar but he would not lessen his pain. I am just sitting in a cool tomb and I am more concerned about my thirst than I am the body of my God just a few feet away from me. I try to convince myself that it is because I have faith. It is because I am self centered and selfish.

It must be growing late. I will sleep for a bit.

Saturday – Light. There is light. Let there be light. The tomb is sealed but a single shaft of light has found its way through. I did not realize how much the darkness plagued me. I can make out his body now. My pupils must be dilated to their maximum. The white linen is grey but completely discernable. I am still thirsty and now I am hungry. Again my thoughts are on my own needs. Again I forget where I am for the sake of my own wants.

Time seems to have succumbed to arthritis. The light from the stone is dimmer but still there. I still wrestle with faith and doubt. But the doubt itself is based on my own needs. If I were not sealed in here would I even consider the situation? Would I care?

I am alone in here. The light is gone again. I am hungry and thirsty. Everything was so good just last Sunday. They all worshiped him. We all cheered. Now I am just tired, thirsty, and hungry. I will sleep and maybe tomorrow I can find a way out. What was I thinking, putting my faith in a carpenter from Nazareth?

Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn