Eating Cheetos® with Chopsticks

Greetings Dear Readers

I love eating with chopsticks. I just do. I have pondered why and I do not know. I used to be really bad at it and then I did something, I bought some stainless steel round chopsticks. They are awesome. You can stab almost anything with them. They will skewer veggies and meat without so much as a by-your-leave.

Their only drawback is that they are round. Once they get a little moisture on them (think sesame chicken sauce) they get very slippery. Yes I realize that skewering is cheating. So I started eating odd things with them that would be hard to grasp with round stainless steel chopsticks. Cheetos® are very hard to eat with chopsticks. The same cheesy oil that coats your fingers forces the two round surfaces to osculate quite liberally. What this means is that the challenge is in play.

So I sit there, wrestling cheesy cylinders from the bowl, between the chopsticks, into my mouth. They slip under too much pressure. They slide under too little. It is all about applying the proper pressure to each piece of differently shaped cheesy goodness. Each Cheeto® in the mouth is a small victory. All too soon the bowl is empty. I have dropped and lost a few cheesy logs of crunchiness but my skill has improved. The next time the Cheetos® are in the bowl, they will stand less of a chance. I will win.

As a final thought, this process of eating slippery things with stainless steel chopsticks has had a side bonus that is amazing. When I go out to eat and use paltry squared wooden or plastic chopsticks, I am a chopstick god. I can eat almost anything. I think I may almost be ready for the test of the chopstick Jedi. Right now, as I write this, I am looking at the online catalogue for Titanium Chopsticks. Dare I try them? Am I ready? We shall see. We shall see.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn