Asleep in the Light

Greetings Dear Reader,

“such thoughts had often knocked for entrance, but had always been excluded for the very good reason that if they were once entertained it involved ripping up the whole web of his life, canceling almost every decision his will had ever made, and really beginning over again as though he were an infant.”
― C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength

My purpose in revisiting this series of books was to recall the impact of sudden vast change.  It was to remember how deeply the story informed my understanding of the vast difference between who we truly are and how we see ourselves.   This time around, however, I have seen that same thing with fewer filters and more bare understanding.

When I first arrived back in this small town that rests between the Lonely Mountain and what to me will always be Rivendell, I had a construct in my mind about how things should be in following Christ.  The reset I am experiencing is overwhelming.  The simplicity of all that I see is overshadowing and tearing away so many things I have valued for so long.  The strength of this simplicity has devastated and revitalized me.

The idea of beginning again so far down the path seemed foolish to me.  Then I was reminded that many others have done the same with great success.  I was steeped in the truth that I cannot change the past but I must forgive it and be forgiven of it.  Even if other humans hold my failings against me still, the past is forgiven by the one who owns time, and, therefore, ultimately so am I.

I must not say this with any hint of pride or arrogance.  The entire idea of forgiveness and reclamation must be steeped in humility and grace.  I deserve to be crushed, obliterated, and forgotten.  I am always, every day that I have life, love, and hope, better than I deserve.  Every moment given me is one where I need to hear the expression of the Father’s love for me and his desire that I keep following his Son.

Scrapping my constructs and scraping my foundation to the bare surface reveals that all that remains is that love.  With love as the foundation, the hard deck I find little need for any of the things I used to placate my hunger for the love I needed but would not see.  I also see that this is the condition that plagues us all.  Tell me one social ill that cannot be cured through the suitable application of concentrated unconditional love.

I submit that if we choose to love vertically and horizontally in every moment, that we will find less need for the many things we try to mitigate its absence.  Power, greed, fear, and anger all stem from a lack of love.  The human condition finds all of its ills in the failure to see our need to love and accept the love we are offered.

I am almost to the place where I can articulate this as a construct.  The danger is that in systematizing anything so simply vital that I will produce a system and not the wild free construct that love offers.  We trade the moment for the process.  We sacrifice the now on the altar of the past, killing life for that which cannot be appeased or changed.

It is not possible for me to undo anything wrong I have done, Dear Reader.  It is foolish to cling to the good I have accomplished as if that will sustain me.  All that I can offer is to attempt to love you in this moment.  All that I know is that this is what can restore and rebuild.  I will still fail but at least it is a place to begin. 

The power to do this is not mine.  It comes from the Son who risked all to allow us to see how much his Father loves us.  Everything bends to this.  The Father expresses his love to us in this way, in that while we clamored for our own selfish indulgent wants, his Son died for our sake.  No matter how noble our intentions and acts, we need this love to lift us above our own constructs into the freedom found in following.  I am going to try to articulate this in the next few days.  For now, however, I just want you to know that I love you no matter what.  Until we see that the Light on the marshes is the one to follow, we are asleep in the light.  Until we see that all must be founded in love, we cannot find our footing.  We will not know where to begin.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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A Response ~ Racism

Greetings Dear Reader,

A beloved friend, Lori, asked a question and offered a thought on my post about racism.  Since this is one of the purposes of this public face to my inner mental exercise, I wanted to make time to respond to her.  First, however, I wanted to apologize for not acknowledging her comment in some way when I read it.  Lori is precious to my heart and I would never want for an instant for her to feel anything less than loved and valued by me. 

Here is Lori’s question and thought verbatim: “Who gets to decide what is racist and what is not? I dare say anyone who finds themselves as part of the majority in that equation would serve everyone involved better by listening, not speaking...”

Since the context of the discussion was my re-reading CS Lewis’ Space Trilogy and working from my questions on it, I will begin with a quote from the same author.  In his preface to The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis wrote: “There are two equal and opposite errors into which [we] can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors.”

I believe that any discussion on racism must begin here.  We must acknowledge that there is a spectrum of awareness regarding racism and that there are extremes on both ends of that spectrum that are equally wrong.  To the question, “Who gets to decide what is racist and what is not,” I respond that we all do, but must do so in light of a higher standard.  Racism is a sub-sin of the sin of injustice.  It is the error of looking on the outward appearance.  It is the injustice of making a natural part of another human’s design more important than the fact that he or she is human and should, therefore, be treated with love and respect simply because he or she exists.

We must not focus on it too much and we must not ignore it.  We must realize that our real enemy is glad that we fight over the cultural and natural instead of fighting together against him.  I would further say that like many things we have taken the discussion on racism to reticules extremes.  In our pursuit of being socially acceptable in the discussion we get distracted by social signaling when we should focus our energy on justice and love.

As to Lori’s thought, I respond with this, we all need to listen more.  I chose to write about racism because of the remembrance of Doctor King being shot on April 4^th.   A year does not pass where I do not recall the day and how it impacted me even as a small boy.  My Grandfather knew him and they served on a church council together.  His death marked me as the first time I understood what racism was.  We all need to do at my Grandfather taught me.  “God gave us two ears and one mouth.  We need to listen twice as much as we speak.  The world would be a lot quieter and we would all be a great deal wiser.” 

Nothing about racism is just Dear Reader.  We are not, however, going to find the answer in that discussion.  The answer is going to be found in the idea that every human soul has the same value.  It is a value we cannot comprehend.  It is encapsulated for us in this:  The God of the universe chose to allow himself to become human, be unjustly beaten and killed so that every human could be reconciled to him.  That is what makes every human, or for that matter, every soul of any kind precious. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Small Gods

Greetings Dear Reader,

“They were astonished at what he had to tell them of human history—of war, slavery and prostitution. “It is because they have no Oyarsa,” said one of the pupils. “It is because every one of them wants to be a little Oyarsa himself,” said Augray.”
― C.S. Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet

I have written before that I believe there is no true atheism.  We all set up something as a god.  We have faith in and give worship to something or someone whether we admit it or not.  We serve someone or something.  We give our hearts to people or things.  Often, we claim to have no god because we have set ourselves up as our own god.

Before we go too much further, we should understand who Oyarsa is.  “Oyarsa is undying, wise, and compassionate. He is the greatest eldil to visit Malacandra and functions as its ruler.”

We do so many terrible things to assert our power.  We strive for dominance, attempt to control and enslave others.  We manipulate and deceive.  We are all in some way seeking a measure of control.  If you disagree because you are quiet or introverted; meek and subtle, then ask yourself this:  How often do you use your silence or absence to get what you want? 

This is not an accusation given out of judgment or condemnation.  I say it all as a statement of inclusion, not a literary device.  We are all crooked sticks.  We all choose that path which we think best for our circumstance.  It should not surprise us.  After all, we are all created by a God who wants us to be sub-creators.  When we reject him as our sovereign, it is no surprise that we yearn for one in some way and that often we become that image for ourselves.

We live in a world where doing what is right in our own thinking is an accepted point of view.  It is accepted as long as we do not disagree with the popular thought on the issue of the day.  The problem is that when you have a few billion small gods, they all want to be the GOD.  In that pursuit, we get wars, slavery, prostitution, abortion, and many other ills. 

So few paths lead us to thinking that is based on love.  When we seek to be the god—MAN, we turn to violence and persecution rather than love and compassion.  Our desire to be which we cannot become and grasp to hold onto the illusion of it.  The fact is, when we had a GOD-man among us, we killed him.  When men gave all to be peaceful and show love, we killed them.  When anyone seeks to make love the foundation of all that he or she does, it unsettles the billions of small gods warring for power.  We can all find excuses not to put love over borders, rights, and issues.  If we are honest, however, it is because we fear the loss of what we have claimed as our kingdom; our sovereignty. 

The only way to avoid the path of the pursuit of our own godhead is to see our need for a God who loves us and wishes us to love everyone.  I agree with Lewis that it may be likely that if there are other sentient beings out there, they have not lost their loyalty to God.  We are the silent planet so that we do not infect them with our pursuit of being gods instead of pursuing God.  Perhaps if we all try to find a way to love each other, we can find the God who demands it of us all.  

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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The Human Condition

Greetings Dear Reader,

“The word 'human' refers to something more than the bodily form or even the rational mind. It refers also to that community of blood and experience which unites all men and women on the Earth.”
― C.S. Lewis, Perelandra

There is racism.  We do foolishly judge others on the color of their skin or their nationality.  We choose that this or that background makes one less worthy of love and respect.

We hear about racism in the news almost daily.  It gets blamed for things that are not truly racism and the word must carry far more baggage than necessary.  It is the cry of those who disagree with some thinking, used to disarm and distract from careful civil conversation.  Since most thinking people do not wish to be called a racist, calling this foul forces defensiveness over reason and dialogue.  It moves the discussion from the informational to the emotional.

Whilst we should be emotional about racism when we see it, calling it when it is false is dangerous.  Any wrong called too often loses its edge.  The sword of cleaving racism becomes a blunt bludgeon used to manipulate and divert.

We need to take a step back and ponder the division over race as a whole.  We need to remember that we are all human.  We all have a soul.  The journey is the same for each of us and the varying patterns of joy and pain, right and wrong are there to teach us that in our vast varietal differences, we are all the same.

Our blood and experience unite us all on a journey that only works when we love and care for each other.  We all suffer from the same terminal condition.  The condition is that we are human.  The difficulty is that it is our humanity prevents us from seeing the dire nature of our humanity.  Only love gives us the clarity of vision needed to see our condition.

It makes clear why the Father makes love the first two great commands.  We are to love God with all that we are and love each other as humans.  Our humanity unites and divides us all at once.  I see you as a human fellow traveler Dear Reader.  As we travel, I want to know you better and show you the love required by the Father and willingly rendered by me.  Amidst all my human failings, it is the one thing I can offer that will sustain us.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Greetings Dear Reader,

“You are guilty of no evil, Ransom of Thulcandra, except a little fearfulness. For that, the journey you go on is your pain, and perhaps your cure: for you must be either mad or brave before it is ended.”
― C.S. Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet

I have long thought that the root of all that we do wrong is fear.  We fear things and, therefore, do things that are wrong to allay our fear.  We fear losing things so we are greedy.  We fear that we are not loved so we do things to hold on to it or control it.  We fear, we act out of fear, and we do wrong because of it.

The first sin in the garden sprung out of fear of not having something.  The fruit was described as being “desired to make one wise.”  Fear of not having wisdom is created in the mind and wrong is done to avoid that fear.  Acting out of fear causes failure.  It is what injects pain into the journey.

Ponder the things you do that you know you should not Dear Reader.  I know that when I do, it always leads to something that I fear.  My great failures and my small ones all have their root in fear.  The question that then begs an answer is addressing what destroys fear.

It is not arrogance or forced power that allays fear.  It is not control or discipline, though the latter serves a purpose.  Fear is not mitigated through power or manipulation.  Those can be taken away and, therefore, add the fear of loss.  There is one thing that casts fear from us.

The perfecting of love casts out fear.  If we think, feel, and move in love then we have nothing to fear.  It is love that crushes barriers and supplies the right kind of power and strength.  Love puts us in a position where we can endure hurt and betrayal without having to control or revenge.  We can love others and stand our ground without anger or malice.

It always sounds too simple when I say it.  It always makes sense when I act on it.  If I love you then your actions cannot harm me.  If I love you then your offenses are always forgivable and you will not be rejected.  We can disagree and still journey together in peace.  We can do whatever is good and right without fear of the things we cannot control.

In the end, Dear Reader, it is so simply complex and wonderfully strange.  We can defeat any barrier and will lose nothing that matters if we make love our fear shield.  We can love in the midst of hatred and rejection.  It will not always be easy but it will cast out our fear.  Others will not understand.  They will definitely see us as very brave or quite mad. Being so, however, is the cure to our pain and the joy in our journey.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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That Hideous Strength

Greetings Dear Reader,

“They would say,” he answered, “that you do not fail in obedience through lack of love, but have lost love because you never attempted obedience.”
― C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength

How deeply we have seen this permeate our world.  Without thumping too much, I want to point out that Paul warns us clearly about this:

2 Timothy 3:1-4 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.² People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³ without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, ⁴ treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

In this warning, Paul lists disobedience to parents as one of the dangers.  He contrasts the love of self and money with being without love.   The lack of forgiveness and self-control clearly mark our culture.  Treachery, conceit, and hedonism permeate our world.  Do not think I am about to get on a stump about any of this. 

What I want to see clearly is that we lack love because we must violate love to do all of these things.  It is our failure to obey that leads us to a lack of love.  It is our refusal to obey what is good and right that diminished our capacity to love others.  We decide that we no longer care for others.  We reject and slander people we once called our fellow travelers; people we promised to love always.  We make rash choices with long enduring consequences.  We put our pleasure and demand for satisfaction above that which is holy and good.

We lose our capacity to love because we have forgotten how to obey out of gratitude, respect, and the desire to satisfy our own wants.  In contrast, when we show genuine love for others, it surprises them.  People are so unaccustomed to relentless, unyielding love that it overshadows so many other things. 

The strength of a world that is self-absorbed is hideous.  The power that we wield when others have need of love is so very great.  We do great harm or great good by our choices to obey or disobey love.  I have been guilty of the first and blessed to participate in the latter.  Like so many, I wield hideous strength when I act in ways that are disobedient to the command to love always.  Then I am surprised when I lack the love I need.

We need to obey what is right no matter how we feel.  When we do, the power to love will flow from us in ways we cannot imagine.  I will obey the commands to forgive, to be kind, and to love no matter who I feel.  Perhaps then the feelings will follow.  If they do not, however, I have still shown love and that is my true passion.  That is true obedience Dear Reader.  It is why I will love you no matter what.  It is why I am learning to obey this primary command at any cost.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Perelandra

Greetings Dear Reader,

“As long as what you are afraid of is something evil, you may still hope that the good may come to your rescue. But suppose you struggle through to the good and find that it is also dreadful? How if food itself turns out to be the very thing you can’t eat and home the very place you can’t live, and your very comforter the person who makes you uncomfortable. Then, indeed, there is no rescue possible: the last card has been played.”
― C.S. Lewis, Perelandra

This is so central to understanding why we must work at loving each other and being reconciled to each other.  We fear things and allow the good to become evil to us.  Accountability is viewed as control.  Responsibility becomes a demand.  We turn that which is good for us into obligations and burdens. 

Standards are viewed as judgment and narrow-mindedness.  Failure to acknowledge the thought of the day as valid and true is called prejudice, racist, and hatred.  When we express love, we have to accept all of the agenda for it to be validated.  The imperfect demand that we measure up to their standards whilst reviling and demeaning ours.

Too often our pattern is to reject what is good or turn it into bad because it requires us to be better.  It demands that we too rise above the bad and embrace the good.  It requires that we forgive, love, and be kind at any cost.  When we refuse, we turn even the best we are given into ashes.

When we turn good into bad, we quickly run out of places to stand.  Everything becomes tainted and hope runs low.  We cannot fail to love and hope to have hope.  We cannot make that which is good evil and hope to have any remaining refuge.  We will be tempted and tried continuously until we reach home.  If we care for each other we can make it.  If we do not, we may as well sit in the ashes together Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

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Out of the Silent Planet

Greetings Dear Reader,

“And how could we endure to live and let time pass if we were always crying for one day or one year to come back--if we did not know that every day in a life fills the whole life with expectation and memory and that these are that day?”
― C.S. Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet

As I travel this morning, my mind is on the stars.  I am headed to them in a way and will also be back again.  I have been rereading the Space Trilogy by CS Lewis.  It strikes me how deeply its lessons echo in our current culture.

We remain prisoners of our past in far too many ways.   We hold on to past anger, pain, loss, and wrongs as if they serve us in some way.  We make them our present when they belong to that which is gone beyond reclamation.  They, therefore, devour our present and fill it with longing and regret.  Instead, we could be filling the moment, the day, and the life we have with things that are good and whole.

I have always wanted to be on the journey outward and onward.  I have too long put maintaining a semblance of something past ahead of the journey into the moment that is next, into the life that is intended for us all.  The cost of living in the past is stagnation and death.  We leave this silent planet for an undiscovered country whether we wish it or not.

I have chosen that it is better to use each moment to prepare for being there instead of trying to recreate moments that belong to the past and only their memory and lessons belong to me.  Attempting to cling to the past cause tension as I am dragged further into the future via the present.  As I journey, I pray to become better at living in this moment.

It is in this that I can find the freedom I need to be a better man, a better friend, and a better faithful follower.   I must give account for some of the failures of my past, but there is little else that I can do.   I can ask forgiveness, seek to understand how others feel and make amends where I am allowed.  I cannot stay and debate or defend.  The Captain is calling and it is time to get back on the road Dear Reader.  I hope you continue to journey with me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

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