Out of the Silent Planet

Greetings Dear Reader,

“And how could we endure to live and let time pass if we were always crying for one day or one year to come back--if we did not know that every day in a life fills the whole life with expectation and memory and that these are that day?”
― C.S. Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet

As I travel this morning, my mind is on the stars.  I am headed to them in a way and will also be back again.  I have been rereading the Space Trilogy by CS Lewis.  It strikes me how deeply its lessons echo in our current culture.

We remain prisoners of our past in far too many ways.   We hold on to past anger, pain, loss, and wrongs as if they serve us in some way.  We make them our present when they belong to that which is gone beyond reclamation.  They, therefore, devour our present and fill it with longing and regret.  Instead, we could be filling the moment, the day, and the life we have with things that are good and whole.

I have always wanted to be on the journey outward and onward.  I have too long put maintaining a semblance of something past ahead of the journey into the moment that is next, into the life that is intended for us all.  The cost of living in the past is stagnation and death.  We leave this silent planet for an undiscovered country whether we wish it or not.

I have chosen that it is better to use each moment to prepare for being there instead of trying to recreate moments that belong to the past and only their memory and lessons belong to me.  Attempting to cling to the past cause tension as I am dragged further into the future via the present.  As I journey, I pray to become better at living in this moment.

It is in this that I can find the freedom I need to be a better man, a better friend, and a better faithful follower.   I must give account for some of the failures of my past, but there is little else that I can do.   I can ask forgiveness, seek to understand how others feel and make amends where I am allowed.  I cannot stay and debate or defend.  The Captain is calling and it is time to get back on the road Dear Reader.  I hope you continue to journey with me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Road - Wandering Aloud

Greetings Dear Reader,

Thick as a Brick has been playing through my head all night.  If you follow the link and get stuck there please come back in 44 minutes.  Real battle is always fought in the heart and the mind.  It is won or lost there as well. 

I am trying to get at the root of the things that hinder me from being all that I am capable of being.  There are changes and healing and restorations that need to exist.  I can do what I am supposed to do but I cannot change anyone else. In trying to undo some locks I have had a couple of beam and speck moments that will lead to better choices on my part.

I realize that this all may sound disjointed Dear Reader but the flotsam and jetsam of my mind is not too organized.  My first duty is to Christ.  In doing that duty I must unlock the prisons of the past in order to attempt to set up good for the future.  The oldest of the family must move with authority but at what cost to the things he has sequestered away because they hurt so much. 

The war is to use the memories for good without embracing the anger and bitterness that cling to them like this Georgia humidity.  “The innocent young master, thoughts moving ever faster, has formed a plan to change the man he sees.”  Right on the heels of this thought is the fact that I am not alone in the process; “Constant creation, that’s what I am, as you are making me into your man.” 

But I also wonder how long the sins of my forebears will haunt the lives of my children and possibly my grandchildren.  I wander aloud seeking a way to undo these too often resonant tethers to a poison past.  I am less entrapped in the mire than my parents and it is obvious I have done better by my children.  I have, however,  not done as well as I could and some of that needs mending. 

Tomorrow I wander north to the place where my great failure lives.  The place is beautiful as it rest between the Misty Mountains and the Lonely Mountain.  How much of the loss can I lay to rest there?  Perhaps there is some attornment I can achieve.  Perhaps I can couple the forgiveness I already have from God with some human semblance of the same.   Perhaps not.  But it is only the asking that makes us what we are…

Wond’ring Again – Jethro Tull

There's the stillness of death on a deathly unliving sea,

And the motor car magical world long since ceased to be,

When the Eve-bitten apple returned to destroy the tree.

Incestuous ancestry's charabanc ride,

Spawning new millions throws the world on its side.

Supporting their far-flung illusion, the national curse,

And those with no sandwiches please get off the bus.

The excrement bubbles,

The century's slime decays

And the brainwashing government lackeys

Would have us say

It’s under control and we'll soon be on our way

To a grand year for babies and quiz panel games

Of the hot hungry millions you'll be sure to remain.

The natural resources are dwindling and no one grows old,

And those with no homes to go to, please dig yourself holes.

We wandered through quiet lands, felt the first breath of snow.

Searched for the last pigeon, slate grey I've been told.

Stumbled on a daffodil which she crushed in the rush, heard it sigh,

And left it to die.

At once felt remorse and were touched by the loss of our own,

Held its poor broken head in her hands,

Dropped soft tears in the snow,

And it's only the taking that makes you what you are.

Wond'ring aloud will a son one day be born

To share in our infancy

In the child's path we've worn.

In the aging seclusion of this earth that our birth did surprise

We’ll open his eyes.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Opening the Year – That’s Why It’s Called the Present.

Happy New Year Dear Reader,

A week ago today at this time I was waiting for my Daughter to awaken so we could open our presents to each other.  That was last year.  It is in the past.  I still feel the waves of joy rippling through me as I watched each of my children and grandchildren open their gifts. 

Alas, I have already heard the sighs and moans of returning to normal.  I have already heard the joy and mirth being dis

missed by those who see the day in and day out of life as a grind.  I cannot approach the world this way.

My favorite way to articulate this since 2008 has been through the instruction given in Kung Fu Panda.  “Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that’s why it’s called the present.”  Each morning that I awaken is a gift from God.  It is my privilege to give it back to him one moment at a time.

I plan and God guides so that I do not get lost in my plans.  I try to pull on the tethers to the past and God gently turns my head back toward the path in front of me.  Today I open a year, a month, and a day.  What I forget is that I am also opening hours, minutes, and moments.  Every one of them is a gift from God for me to use as I will.

Living in the moment must be an eternal exercise in not looking for more in the future.  It must be seeing that the tethers to the past are guides and not puppet strings.  I need to give each moment back to God by assuring that I look for him in it.  I cannot stress this enough. 

In the last two weeks some very painful and dangerous places in my heart have been stirred to a fearful contentious wakefulness.  My thoughts try to push me to think more of the past and the future that the moment.  If I do this I will fail so miserably in living in the moments and that is the only place where my hope and faith work.

So as I open the gift from God that is a new year I pray that he keeps pointing me back to the moment.  I hope that he does not lose patience with my constant looking back or ahead in unhealthy ways.  Perhaps he will be merciful and make my looking back in the wrong way cause me to see things in the right way.  Perhaps as I look to the future I will only see what is good for me to see and try to over think what comes next.

Just like Christmas day with my Grandsons, I want to be so caught up in each gift that I open that I forget that there are others waiting for me to open.  I want each moment to be so filled with the presence of Christ that those around me are anxious for me to open the next one but I am content with the moment until it passes naturally.

Magic Every Moment – Dan Fogelberg

I awoke this morning to a shattering sound

And I went downstairs and found these shards of glass strewn all around

There upon the floor I found this poor broken dove

And it made me realize how very fragile is this life that we so love

I came back up to bed and I held you so tight

And I prayed up to the Father, oh I prayed with all my might

That He'd always keep you with me, that He'd always keep you safe

And when I went downstairs I found that dove had somehow up and flown away

There's a magic every moment

There's a miracles each day

There's a magic every moment

Oh won't you let the music play

Oh won't you let the music play

On a high and windy island I was gazing out to sea

When a long forgotten feeling came and took control of me

It was then the clouds burst open and the sun came pouring through

When it hit those dancing waters in an instant all eternity I knew

There's so much we take for granted--there's so much we never say

We get caught up in the motion of just a living day to day

We are fettered to the future; we are prisoners of the past

And we never seem to notice 'til our lives have finally

Slipped right through our grasp

There's a magic every moment

There's a miracles each day

There's a magic every moment

Oh won't you let the music play

Oh won't you let the music play

You can see forever in a single drop of dew

You can see that same forever if you look down deep inside of you

There's a spark of the creator in every living thing

He respects me when I work but He so loves me when I sing

There's a magic every moment

There's a miracles each day

There's a magic every moment

Oh won't you let the music play

Oh won't you let the music play

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store." 

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