Second Thoughts ~ Father and Children

Greetings Dear Reader,

This may be a bit raw.  It is, however, honest.  It occurred to me this morning that I have spent more time with my birth father’s ashes than he ever spent with me when he was alive.  His absence left wounds in me that are deep and seemingly septic.

I also realized today that this may have been the Father’s way of protecting me from abuse on a grand scale.  Every interaction I had with him left me battered emotionally in ways I have not yet fully understood.

In the midst of this I had created a situation where two of my three children are not speaking to me.  I have failed in many ways as a father and am trying to own it all.  I am also trying to learn how to let God Father me.  It all hurts so very deeply and I do not know what to do other than try to become a better me and allow the rest to unfold as it will.

I know that I have exasperated all of my children.  I am astounded that the Father is not exasperated with me.  I watched the movie, I Can Only Imagine again.  I was deeply struck with how much I still need to learn about how to have a father, much more how to be one. 

When even seeking forgiveness is met with anger and stress there is so much more needed.  I must go deeper in allowing the Father to handle this situation.  Those who come back from failure and shame in the right way do not hide their failures.  They are honest so that others can learn from them.  I will not try to force the situation.  I can only hope that I get to see the Father ultimately win with my children. 

I cannot rewrite the past.  I can work to be someone better than I was and do so each day.  I can be open about it so that perhaps other fathers can benefit.  For now, what it would be like to be gathered with my children in harmony, I can only imagine.

I Can Only Imagine – Mercy Me

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk, by your side

I can only imagine what my eyes will see

When you face is before me

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by You glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus

Or in awe of You be still

Will I stand in your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes

When I find myself standing in the Son

I can only imagine when all I would do is forever

Forever worship You

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for You, Jesus

Or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine hey ya ah

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for You, Jesus

Or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in Your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine hey ya ah

I can only imagine yeah yeah

I can only imagine

I can only imagine ey ey ey

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do

Is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Kids BLOG

I Can Only Imagine ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

We imagine so many things.  We ponder the next event in our lives.  We consider what the next vacation or holiday will be like.  We dream and anticipate.  I get excited about baseball games and swimming with my Grandsons.

Then there are our dreams and imaginations on the grander things.  I cannot tell you what heaven, being face to face with Jesus, or eternity will be like.  I do not think we can really comprehend it.  I refuse to speculate about most of this without a clear caveat that it is only my musings.

Still as one who imagines much and loves to ponder what may be, I cannot help but muse on what it will be like when we venture to that undiscovered country.  I know it will be good.  I know that we will all be surprised. 

We are promised that the great adventure will result in the end of sorrow and the realization of true joy.  We will not have the troubles and pain of this world.  We will not be able to hurt each other.  There will be an end to hunger and disease,

With all of our troubles over what can we expect?  What will the reunions and new endeavors bring?  With a Father who is so creative it will surely be marvelous.  I want to explore the universe.  I want to savor everything there is  How it will unfold, I can only imagine.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I Can Only Imagine ~ Love

Greetings Dear Reader,

Yesterday I spoke about the love between father and son.  I talked also about the love that the Father has for us that he would send his Son to redeem us.  It goes further than that.

The Father bases everything on love.  It was out of love that he found a way to satisfy his justice and righteousness without destroying us.  It is love that motivated him to create a way for us to be rescued from our wanderings.  All of the law and the prophets are supposed to be founded in love. 

But wait, there is more.  You see it is enough that the Father rescues us from our failings.  He goes further.  He builds in us the ability to love.  He gives us the command to love as our prime mover.  He allows us to be a part of the greatest thing that there is and wants us to share it in purity without guile.

I have read so many reports of those who were thought dead and returned.  The most significant thing is that so many report the depth and expanse of the love felt.  Again, we see that love is a predominant experience with God.

If we accept this then we can begin to truly change the world.  If we choose individually and collectively to act out of love for others then we find the resources to meet the needs of others.  We will be moved to combat poverty, hunger, and injustice.  We will not argue over supplying health care for those in need.

If we were to embrace the love that we are supposed to live we could change the world.  Like the depth of the love that the Father has for us, we have no idea how boundless love can be if embraced.  The impact that I can have if I do this in all things could be vast.  The impact if we all do, I can only imagine. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I Can Only Imagine ~ Father and Son

Greetings Dear Reader,

With the exception of Holy Week and Christmas my posts are rarely planned more than a week in advance.  I want the writing to be an honest reflection of my current journey with Christ.  This allows for life to interact with the thinking I am processing.

This happened in an interesting juxtaposition yesterday.  My younger Son called to chat and we began talking about the real essence of the Gospel.  His intelligence and ability to articulate things is beautiful.

It put me in mind of what I imagine it must have been like for the Father to part with the Son.  I love my Sons dearly.  Being away from them is always difficult for me.  Enjoying things with them keeps me spirited and alive.  It brings me back to thinking about the relationship between the Father and the Son.

In case you do not see the understanding of God behind it, the Father and Son are two manifestations of one God.  They have been that way always.  They act in harmony and always share everything.  They created the world together.  They saw the thing that was good unfold into being not good. 

Then the plan came into reality.  In the fullness of time the Son departed from the Father to live with us for a space.  He showed us how to live out love for the Father and for each other.  Then what is arguably the darkest moment of all history came.  The Father allowed the weight of all wrong that will ever be done to rest on his Son so that we could be redeemed. 

I cannot imagine sacrificing my Sons for anyone.  What pain it must be to see your Son falsely accused and condemned, beaten and killed by the very people he came to rescue.  For years we have heaped all manner of conditions on top of this act.  We have added baggage to the Gospel and been bad examples.

It really is this simple:  The Father allowed the sacrifice of his Son to redeem us from our own failures.  All he asks of us is that we accept this sacrifice by faith.  All he wants is for us to love him and each other.  What it felt like to give so much I cannot understand.  He did it knowing he would still have people malign and reject him.  All he asks that we act out of love and we reject and abuse him further.  How that hurts, I can only imagine.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I Can Only Imagine ~ The Departed

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have mentioned that there are those who have already reached the end of this journey who I long to see again.  The first that come to mind are my Grandfather, my Sister, and my Daughter.  There are others.  Other family members that have gone on and absent friends. 

This is one of those areas where we do not know what really happens.  Death is not the end.  To die is to be directly present with the Father.  We do know that.  We know that things will not get really rolling until Jesus returns to make all things good again.

It is not given to us what the departed are doing whilst waiting for things to play out.  I do not think we will be sitting around singing endless praises for all eternity.  The Father is just too creative for that.  We will be able to do this if it is what we wish.  Remember, however, that even in Eden we had work to do by tending the Garden. 

Anyone telling you that they have it all worked out is mistaken.  I do not think that they watch us.  There is no sorrow there and I know when I fail it would bring sorrow to my family.  I am sure there is much more about which I have no idea.

I know that whatever the Father has in store for us it will be amazing.  My Grandfather used to talk with me about it often.  He would also say he did not know what Jesus was up to but he looked at it this way:  If God made such a beautiful world as ours in seven days, then I needed to consider the time.   Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for us and he has been working on it for 2000 years.  Let that sink in for a bit.  I can only imagine.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I Can Only Imagine ~ That Undiscovered Country

Greetings Dear Reader,

It is one of those questions that plagues us almost as soon as we begin to reason.  What happens when we die?  I am not foolish enough to attempt to answer it.  I know that we have specific promises.  None of them, however, maps out the forever part of things.

As I mentioned yesterday, I know that it will be far beyond anything we can imagine.  That is part of the promise.  That is not enough for some people.  I simply try to imagine more beautiful things every time I think about it.

Then there are the people who think they know.  They describe cities and mansions.  Some even go so far as to build a system of merits, rewards, and crowns based on minimal evidence and grand conjecture.  None of this is beneficial.  We are not supposed to know the whole story.  We are supposed to follow Christ home in faith.

We are on a journey of discovery.  We are following someone who knows the answers and holds out love and hope for us.  We are not promised all the answers until we get home.  We are promised home.  We are promised to know as deeply as we are known.

As a ground rule for this discussion I promise not to offer anything as an answer that is not guaranteed by Jesus.  The point is that we will be with him.  Faith will no longer be necessary.  Just typing that brings joyful tears to my eyes.  Even though I find the faith part of following easy, I long for the time when it is no longer required. 

Hope will not be a part of things any more either.  Our hope of home, peace, and love will be realized.  The world will be good again.  Things will be as they are supposed to be for us.

The point of an undiscovered country to journey there to discover it.  There is joy in that journey but it is nothing compared to what will be when we arrive.  When I get world weary I ponder this.  Not in a negative or destructive way, but in a hopeful, faithful, positive vein I ponder what Christ is leading us to.   How beautiful and fulfilling will it be?  I can only imagine.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I Can Only Imagine ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Yesterday my Daughter took me to see I Can Only Imagine, the movie about Bart Millard, the writer of the song by the same name.  I have included the song below.  I am still sorting out all the things it brought up in me. 

As I walk through memories of my birth father and his interactions in my life I know that I have forgiven him but a great deal of pain is still there.  The movie brought up so much that is difficult to ponder.  That part I will get back to before this part of the journey is complete. 

The other thinking that the movie stirred in me was that of what comes next.  As it is my focus to love God with all that I am I consider what Paul told the Corinthians.  “However, as it is written: ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ the things God has prepared for those who love him.”

I view this as a challenge.  I try to imagine what the Father has in store for us.  What can be on the horizon?  Just having my faith become sight seems like enough.  The potential of reunion with my Grandfather, my Sister, and my Daughter is the kind of joy that I dream about.

Give this song a listen and let us walk together for a bit concerning the things that we can only imagine.  Let us do it with the understanding that the better we imagine the better it will be.  Here is my reasoning on this.  If he is going to do better than we imagine, then the better we imagine the better it gets. As always, your thoughts and questions are invaluable to me.

I Can Only Imagine – Mercy Me

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk, by your side

I can only imagine what my eyes will see

When you face is before me

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by You glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus

Or in awe of You be still

Will I stand in your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes

When I find myself standing in the Son

I can only imagine when all I would do is forever

Forever worship You

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for You, Jesus

Or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine hey ya ah

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for You, Jesus

Or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in Your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

I can only imagine hey ya ah

I can only imagine yeah yeah

I can only imagine

I can only imagine ey ey ey

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do

Is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)