I Am In Danger

Greetings Dear Readers,

Not so long ago a friend took a real risk with me. She tried to tell me just how much anger she saw in me. Internally I denied what she was saying, writing it off to so much of the life circumstance I am in at the moment and the current stresses in day to day living. Poppet, I was wrong and I apologize for not hearing what you were saying a the level it deserved hearing.

Yesterday one of the pastors at my church talked about a portion of the Sermon on the Mount. He explained some things at a level I had never considered before and I realized that great danger because of my anger. Here is the passage and after it I will talk more about my situation.

Mat 5:21 - 26 “You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'Never murder. Whoever murders will answer for it in court.' But I can guarantee that whoever is angry with another believer will answer for it in court. Whoever calls another believer an insulting name will answer for it in the highest court. Whoever calls another believer a fool will answer for it in hellfire. "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember there that another believer has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First go away and make peace with that person. Then come back and offer your gift. Make peace quickly with your opponent while you are on the way to court with him. Otherwise, he will hand you over to the judge. Then the judge will hand you over to an officer, who will throw you into prison. I can guarantee this truth: You will never get out until you pay every penny of your fine.”

You see, the anger here is not talking about righteous anger over the wrongs done to others. It is that common everyday anger that I embrace when someone violates my space, speech, rights, or progress. It is easy here to say that everyone does this. Everyone feels this kind of anger. Yes, but I am not accountable for everyone. I have said that we are all crooked sticks, but the one I need to focus on is me.

This anger that is so dangerous is the anger that had me calling the guy who cut me off in traffic “stupid.” This is the anger that causes me to be impatient with my children or me to arrogant when I do not get good customer service. I am not saying that in some instanced the other driver, the counter clerk, and my children are not in the wrong. I am saying that my feelings and my responses based on those feelings are not always righteous.

I think that the only way to get out of this anger is to see people as Christ sees them. I rail on everyone from politicians I dislike to lady in the express lane with more than 12 items. The thing is that Christ wishes me to be better than all of that. He wishes me to see that it is my pride and arrogance that cause me to trample on others whether they can hear me or not.

I used to never allow the word “stupid” to be said about anyone. My children were forbidden from it and I did not call anyone that. Now I do it all the time. The path back will be a harsh and hard one. I must remember that my stick is crooked and I, therefore, cannot judge the straightness of another’s. Poppet, thank you for point out this huge bend in my character. By God’s grace I will do better. I also apologize to my children for setting a bad example for them. Mostly I ask forgiveness of the times I have insulted those who did or did not know that I was insulting them. Every one of them deserves better from me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn