Beaten With Roses

Greetings Dear Reader,

“Betwixt them Lawns, or level Downs, and Flocks
Grasing the tender herb, were interpos'd,
Or palmie hilloc, or the flourie lap
Of som irriguous Valley spread her store,
Flours of all hue, and without Thorn the Rose:” - John Milton

Once, long ago I had offended a girl I was dating. What I had done was wrong but unintentional. The hurt was no less to her and I realized that I was wrong. I brought her roses and offered a genuine apology. Her response was to smile and take the roses. Her reaction was to then hit me in the face with those roses. The thorns left three symmetrical cuts along my left cheek.

Immediately my mind rushed with hot anger. I walked away so that I would not react to that anger. I was very angry and violent back then and my choice to absorb rather than escalate was an unusually wise one for that time in my life. I will not go into the details of my wrong against the young lady but it did not warrant her response.

I was reminded of this incident without warning this week. Someone rewarded an attempt of mine at kindness with the verbal equivalence of being beaten with roses. The sting of their words filled me with pain and I felt my face flood with anger. I could literally feel the trace of those three lines of thorns from over thirty years past. Again, instead of reacting I chose to withdraw. I like to think I have more wisdom than I did back then.

I am so far from being like Christ than I wish to be. Still, though, for a moment I caught a glimpse of what it might have felt like to be damaged with the very thing you created. We put thorns on his head and drove them in whilst mocking him. I say we because the Roman hands that did were enacted because of our, and specifically my sin. I become increasingly aware of my connection to the sin that killed Christ and find that awareness both painful and restorative.

It is my sin that must be purged so that I may attempt to follow Christ more closely. This even means absorbing the pain when I am beaten with the roses I offer. There is no such thing as me being the better man in a situation. It is not me that is better, but rather that Christ can better use me if I am willing. No matter what happens to me, Christ has more grace and love to enable me to do what is right if I choose to do that right thing.

The joy in the thorn is still in the choosing. The joy in the thorn is that the pain passes and we are left with the learning. It is why I chose the thorny rose as a symbol so long ago. It is one of the reasons that Thorn is my pen name. When I choose to do right it is the grace and love of Christ, not my goodness that has allowed it. In that moment, I get the glimpse of who Christ truly is and what he is to me no matter how anyone else responds or reacts. Someday, however, there will be no more thorns but there will still be Christ. That is the joy in my journey.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."