The Shadow of a Smile

Greetings Dear Reader,

Today it is sunny, cold, and beautiful. As the cold sun floods my writing room it cannot match the warmth that floods my spirit. I carry a warmth within that is always with me and a cornerstone of my hope. Today is also my Daughter’s birthday. There will be no cake or candles; no surprise party or presents. She is so far beyond all of that and held by grace and love in a way that makes my love for her a fleeting shadow.

Because she passed away so young and without knowledge of the world, I find comfort in so many things that she never knew. She will never know pain or loss. She is never lied to or betrayed. No one can harm her. I still do not understand why God chose for her to not be with us, but I know that he has comforted me with the understanding that my sin and failures have never harmed her. They have harmed my sons and I work hard to redeem that harm.

I find comfort in the knowledge that as I draw closer to Christ I am also drawing closer to her. One of the things that drives me now is to be someone that she can be proud of when we meet one day. Do not think that I picture some magic kingdom of clouds and harps, but rather a redeemed world where all those who belong to Christ are together without sin and fault. When I am closest to Christ and doing my best to follow him with all my heart, I imagine that I catch a glimpse her smiling in approval. I know it is the imagination of my heart working overtime but it makes pleasing Christ that much sweeter.

Of all those who have preceded me to the end of the journey, she is the most dear to me. After her would be my Grandfather. I hope that they are together, laughing at my foolishness and savoring the times when I am faithful. I trust that she knows who her brothers are and pesters the Father to guide them closer to him. I know that she cannot come to me but someday I shall go to her.

I write about this today for two purposes. The first is to honor her and wish her a happy birthday in the best way that I can. The second is to share my hope that we see all death as a fighting chance to live. It is what redemption is all about; turning death into a fighting chance to live. Our philosophies and theologies do not matter. What matters is the path that leads to God. We are all on it whether we accept that or not. Christ showed us how to walk it.

We, through our sin have turned life into death in so many ways we cannot count it. Christ longs for us to join him in reversing that process. He asks us to give up everything that hinders us and simply follow him in showing the world grace, love, peace, and forgiveness. The rottenness and brokenness have an expiration date. Death will die. I want to be a part of that process today so that I am not caught by surprise when it is complete.

Happy birthday Rachel; I am on my way, it is just taking me longer than it did you.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."