Second Thoughts – COVID-19 Lessons Learned Part IV

Greetings Dear Reader,

As we drift toward the middle of April, the sequestering looks to be extended and the virus is ebbing and flowing in various locals.  I am determined to keep my good humor and my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek.  Here are our latest lessons learned.

1. Apparently, Corona Christening it a thing.  It involves a minister shooting holy water at the infant from a socially safe distance.  No beer is involved.  Clergy consecrates cloistered Christians cautiously creating Corona Christening canons carefully coating children.
2. When you order dinner for seven at the drive-through, they are not always happy about it.
3. Some people need diagrams for how to stay at home.
4. Nitryl Gloves should not be called Corona Condoms, neither should they be thrown on the ground in parking lots.
5. Holding up a bio-hazard sign when stopped by the County Sheriff is not funny to them.
6. When Waffle House is actually closed it feels like Armageddon.
7. During this kind of crisis, incidents of a parent sleeping with the children’s teacher will rise.
8. There are millions of ways to make ramen noodles.
9. None of the good ramen noodle recipes include the included flavor packet.
10. No matter what anyone says about anything there are seventeen conspiracy theories to go with it.
11. Some government agencies become more efficient when not allowed to deal with humans.
12. When the only place one can go is the yard, the pollen count in the yard will be three trillion.

We still have a long way to go, Dear Reader.  It will take some time to get there but if we keep to the path and hold on to our good humor, we will make it together.  Please feel free to share with me the lessons you are learning.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

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Second Thoughts – COVID-19 Lessons Learned Part III

Greetings Dear Reader,

I offer for your consideration the third installment in my preparation for lessons learned in this time of plague.  Some of you still do not get that I am trying to be light-hearted about this.  Please take the time to laugh and enjoy. 

1. A 16 oz bag of Oreo Thins is still a pound of Oreos.
2. One can collect enough Cheeto dust to make homemade mac and cheese (heard this from a friend [really, it was not me {Stop judging me}]).
3. As a species, we can live without suits.
4. As a species, we can live without bras.
5. When counties in GA set up travel checkpoints, “my county does not have Chick-fil-a”, will get you through.
6. When one small town closes all its liquor stores, the next town over will have a sale at theirs (This, however, is apparently not a good reason to cross the county line [or so I was told by the Sheriff’s Deputy {Stop judging me}]).
7. The food you want the most will not be available in your county.
8. The pollen count will eclipse the national debt this week.
9. Vacation destinations will offer the best travel packages during a travel ban.
10. Gas prices will be the lowest in forty years this week because no one needs gas.
11. Almost every Bible quote about plague will be quoted out of context.
12. There are plenty of conspiracies to go around so pick a good one.

Be safe Dear Reader.  Only travel when it is vital.  Be kind to those working in the shops.   Tell me how you are doing.  I care about you.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

EVERY HUMAN STORY IS PART OF THE GREAT STORY THAT LEADS TO THE FATHER GETTING EVERYTHING BACK TO GOOD.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

Facebook       Twitter        

Medium         Instagram 

This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Second Thoughts ~ COVID-19 Lessons Learned Part II

Greetings Dear Reader,

As we continue in our long-darkened siege, my tongue is still firmly sequestered in my cheek.  I have not, however, quarantined my ability to see the humor in some of this.  We must laugh.  We must not take ourselves too seriously.   

1. When posting humorously about a pandemic, do not mention burning bridges because some people are idiots.
2. When predicting a post-quarantine baby boom, consider that you are also telling people to stay six feet apart.  Can someone explain the physics of this? (Remember that this is a PG-13 BLOG [I am not seeking instructions {Sanitize your brain}])
3. Tofu is not that bad with enough hot sauce and vegetables.
4. Toilet paper calculators are not very accurate.
5. Shop towels, roll cut in half, are cheaper as TP and require only half as many sheets (Do not ask how I know this [I am not out of TP {Stop judging me}]).
6. Those who hoarded all the cheese do not need all the TP.
7. Some TV series should not be binge-watched.  That many episodes of Criminal Minds or Friends will mess with your head.
8. Auto parts stores are using shop towels for TP.
9. The movies Coatigan and Outbreak should not be watched back to back.
10. One can shower in one’s pajamas then hang them to dry in the shower.
11. The axiom, “the only way to get ALL your laundry clean is to do your laundry naked” has been proven to be true (Reported by a friend [I have always believed this {Stop judging me}]).
12. When making home-made saline solution for eye-drops and nasal spray, one should let it cool before testing it.
13. You smell worse than you think you do so take more showers.
14. People will write a three-page response when they do not get the joke.
15. The Netflix “Are you still watching” pop-up feels like a car warranty robocall.
16. The Restaurant at the end of the Galaxy is only offering carry-away.
17. There is an end to the internet and I have found it (It did not take that long [I have been searching for years {Stop judging me}]).

I continue to build my lessons learned list.  Please feel free to add your thoughts on this.  We are concluding some interesting experiments with cheese.  I know where my towel is.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

EVERY HUMAN STORY IS PART OF THE GREAT STORY THAT LEADS TO THE FATHER GETTING EVERYTHING BACK TO GOOD.

  

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

Facebook       Twitter        

Medium         Instagram 

This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/