Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

The words that flow onto the page teach me so much about where I am and how I am dealing with life, faith, and following.  I am searching for the root of my sorrow.  I seek the seeds that sow my heartbreak.

I know that part of it is loneliness because I lack a counterpart.  Then those who have tried have made clear that I am too patently unrewarding to stand with no matter what the cost.  I am not saying that no one loves and that no one has ever been there for me.  I am feeling the depth of the loneliness of a loving man with no one who wants that love. 

Before you think I am whining or complaining let me be clear.  This too teaches me how to better follow Christ.  I refuse to be a man who lest how I feel determine who I become.  If I lift the rest of my life in solitude I will not become bitter.

I learn from the sorrow.  I grow from the pain.  I am not a martyr. That is not what it is about.  It is about getting a taste of what Christ feels when he pours his love out on us and we reason him away or completely reject him.  We do not really hear him.  If we did we would not be able to reject him at all.

I also get a constant reminder of how much others need to be loved.  The sorrow is a weapon like any other to fight the darkness.  It is a chance to understand the needs of others in a new way at a deeper level.  My sorrow gives me yet another opportunity to focus on the needs of others. 

It is what Jesus did when the Father sent him to us.  It is what he asks us to follow.  It is the cross he asks us to take up with joy.  It is with joy we can do it if we will.  The sorrow and loneliness are opportunities to really see and hear.  They are a chance to be really seen and heard.  We can choose rejection when we are rejected or we can choose love, grace, and light. 

What do you think Dear Reader?  Does anybody hear?  Does anybody see?  I sure am trying.  As we make the turn toward Holy Week you listen and look with me for bit?

Does Anybody Hear Her – Casting Crowns

She is running

A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying

But the canyon's ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets out on another misadventure just to find

She's another two years older

And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even knows she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning

For shelter and affection

That she never found at home

She is searching

For a hero to ride in

To ride in and save the day

And in walks her prince charming

And he knows just what to say

Momentary lapse of reason

And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even knows she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

If judgement looms under every steeple

If lofty glances from lofty people

Can't see past her scarlet letter

And we never even met her

If judgement looms under every steeple

If lofty glances from lofty people

Can't see past her scarlet letter

And we never even met her

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even knows she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

He is running

A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Man of Sorrow

Greetings Dear Reader,

I cannot imagine wandering through the world knowing that no matter what I do the people I care for will reject me and my best friends will abandon me in my darkest hour.  I have been rejected and abandoned but it does not compare to the story for Jesus.

I wonder how often we put our minds honestly in the place of Christ.  I try to but often cannot get my head around the concept.  A God/man who mostly acts human but knows your thoughts and intents searches you to see what your needs are and show you love.  He knows what we are going to do to him and still gives us his very best.

Everything about Christ is geared toward bringing things back to good.  He walks in sorrow so that we may have joy.  He delves into our deepest needs knowing we will reject his love and deny him.  He takes a beating and is murdered so that we can live. 

His sorrow is not only because of the rejection but because he knows what we need.  We all know this feeling.  We look at people who are doing things to damage their own lives and will not accept the help needed to make it better. 

I want my life to turn every moment to one of following and accepting who Christ is.  I want to live and move and have my being in him.  I want to avoid creating sorrow for the one who gave all for me.

Man of Constant Sorrow – Soggy Bottom Boys

(In constant sorrow all through his days)

I am a man of constant sorrow

I've seen trouble all my days

I bid farewell to old Kentucky

The place where I was born and raised

(The place where he was born and raised)

For six long years I've been in trouble

No pleasure here on Earth I found

For in this world I'm bound to ramble

I have no friends to help me now

(He has no friends to help him now)

It's fare-thee-well my old true lover

I never expect to see you again

For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad

Perhaps I'll die upon this train

(Perhaps he'll die upon this train)

You can bury me in some deep valley

For many years where I may lay

And you may learn to love another

While I am sleeping in my grave

(While he is sleeping in his grave)

Maybe your friends think I'm just a stranger

My face you never will see no more

But there is one promise that is given

I'll meet you on God's golden shore

(He'll meet you on God's golden shore)

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – The Lost get Found

Greetings Dear Reader,

When my Grandfather retired from the police force he spent some time as a circuit preacher.  He traveled between four churches that had no permanent pastor.  He explained to me at six years old that he was wandering for Jesus.  He explained that there would be those who were lost without Jesus.  Since those who follow Christ may appear to be wanderers we must ask why they wander.  Jesus gave us the clear purpose of his iterant nature.  He told us he came to find and redeem those who were lost.

No one wants to think that they are lost.  We have an entire running joke about men not asking for directions.  We deny that we are lost even when it is inconsequential.  The lost may not even know they are lost.

It is our job to find them.  It is our responsibility not to demean them for being lost   We are to draw them to Christ through love, kindness, and generosity.  As we move through life we are supposed to teach others to follow Christ.  We must see the seriousness of the lost nature of the world.

Everything about our journey is meant to follow Christ and bring others with us.  The sorrow springs from those whose lives could be better by being found.  The lost get found when followers give up on the self and live to exemplify Christ to others.  We do not become perfect or have all our problems solved.  Even hope ebbs and flows.  The joy in the journey is that we have a home and are headed there.  In that we get to help the lost get found.

The Lost Get Found – Brit Nicole 

Hello my friend

I remember when you were

So alive with your wide eyes

'Til the light that you had in your heart was stolen

Now you say that it ain't worth staying

You wanna run but you're hesitating

I'm talking to me

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now

Don't be afraid to stand out

That's how the lost get found

The lost get found

So when you get the chance

Are you gonna take it

There's a really big world at your fingertips

And you know you have the chance to change it

There's a girl on the streets she's cryin'

There's a man whose faith is dying

Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now

Don't be afraid to stand out

That's how the lost get found

The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow

Why take the easier road

Why are playing it safe

(No, I don't wanna play it safe)

Love came to show us the way

Love is a chance we should take

I'm moving out of the gray

Dada dada da da

Dada dada da da

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

(Stand out!)

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now

Don't be afraid to stand out

That's how the lost get found

The lost get found

So when you get the chance

Are you gonna take it

There's a really big world at your fingertips

And you know you have the chance to change it

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – All Those Who Wander

Greetings Dear Reader,

I had breakfast yesterday with someone precious to me whom I do not see as often as I wish.  We had an excellent honest conversation about sorrow and joy.   Faith, doubt, cynicism, and pain all had their turn in the discussion. 

I am reminded that we are intended to be wanderers.  The life of following Christ is a nomadic one.  I fear at times that I have too many roots.  I fear at times that there should be no roots at all.  Jesus did not have a place to lay his head.  Paul was itinerant and warned against getting entangled in the cares of this world   I fear that we are not just entangled but snared.

Last year I reduced my possession by over half and I still have too much.  I have continued to diminish the volume but I must also find a way to not be tied to a calendar.  My friend has accomplished that and I see the struggles that come with it.  Much more faith is required of her journey than mine. 

One of the ways I feel sorrow as I move toward Holy Week is that I am still ensnared in the cares of this world.  I am, however, actively seeking for that moment of opportunity and courage that will allow me to be driven only by the Spirit of God.  Walking in faith must include sorrow.  It is better to feel the fear and uncertainty but keep following. 

 All those who wander are not lost.  All those who journey do not know their destination but they know the way home.  I seek to join that narrow way more fully.  I am still not sure how to get there but I promise not to leave you behind Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – The Corner of Your Smile

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the simple things that many do not master is the difference between how we feel and how we act.  Jesus was a man of sorrows and he was familiar with suffering.  He also understood joy and celebration.  

We should celebrate but we should do so proportionate to the grief.  We should never forget that there are those in need when we have abundance.  We should not ever leave behind the knowledge that there are always those in need.

In the greater view, I believe everyone needs to know Jesus.  I am not condemning the world or passing judgment.  That is not my place.  Jesus commanded his followers to “make followers of all people.”  I cannot do that without caring for those in need.  I cannot ignore the needs of others and hope to think I am following.

My example must be in my actions.  I can celebrate but there must always be a corner in my smile.  As I turn my thoughts toward Holy Week and the Resurrection I always think of Christmas.  From cradle to cross we must carry the seed of sorrow.  We have much to celebrate but not at the expense of those who do not.

The weight of it wrestles with me more this year and I am not sure why.  Perhaps it is my concern for those who to do not follow Christ.  They are missing out on so much.  It is my obligation to never forget this greatest need no matter how deep my revels. 

A Christmas Song – Ian Anderson

Once in Royal David's City stood a lowly cattle shed,

where a mother laid her baby.

You'd do well to remember the things He later said.

When you're stuffing yourselves at the Christmas parties,

you'll laugh when I tell you to take a running jump.

You're missing the point I'm sure does not need making;

that Christmas spirit is not what you drink.

So how can you laugh when your own mother's hungry

and how can you smile when the reasons for smiling are wrong?

And if I messed up your thoughtless pleasures,

Remember, if you wish, this is just a Christmas song.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Disillusioned but Dreaming

Greetings Dear Reader,

Some days I torture my soul by dreaming that things will come back together in this life.  I am the dangerous kind of optimist that believes that God can and sometimes will reunite people.   I did not always believe this but I do now.  It is torture most evenings when the sun sets and the house is not a home because I am alone.

Still in the midst of the gnawing dark when I am disillusioned and alone I dream.  I dare to dream because I will go to the edge of hope but never beyond it.  When I dream of restoration and harmony I think some very true but offensive things.  I think about the energy we spend in pursuit of things that do not satisfy.  I think about the things we want that will not meet our needs. 

I ponder the hope that I have that people will find faith again or for the first time.  I ruminate over the sorrow that the Father must feel for those try some many false things to get needs met when he is everything we need.  I think of Jesus weeping over Jerusalem whispering, “I would have gathered you as a mother hen gathers her chicks but you would not have me.” 

The sorrow as my mind and heart turn toward Holy Week is for all those who have abandoned the one who holds everything they need.  The price paid to redeem us is beyond our comprehension.  All that Jesus asks in return is that we follow in faith.  Instead of doing this we load his request with judgmental baggage, conditional love, and active resistance.

He is everything I need if I will let him be everything.  This year I am counting the cost more closely than in the past.  I see the subtle and obvious ways we reject Christ.  I see the import of this in the things that plague our culture.  My sorrow toady focuses on the failure of those who follow Christ and represent him as he is.  In that sorrow is the joy that who he is cannot be thwarted by my failures.  That is hope.

Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Worshiping Without Them

Greetings Dear Reader,

For those of you who do not attend church or understand my faith we have a practice called corporate worship.  This has nothing to do with corporations and everything to do with coming together to express our love to the Father for all he does for us. 

I used to find this time filled with joy and anticipation.  For a short time I got to worship with a family at a church we attended together.  As time drifted through the glass many things fell apart.  Now only Christmas attends church with me.  She prefers solitude in the crowd during worship.

I also wrestle with the emptiness I see in corporate worship at times.  My mind sings the songs along with the others but it also constantly begs the Father to restore things.  If I try to engage in the show part of the worship my heart breaks and I struggle to hold back the tears.’

My hope is in Christ alone these days.  The promises of man hold little value.  Words like “I will never leave you”: are not lived out when things become “too hard” or others have already made plans.  A promise that one will never abandon the faith and that I do not need to worry about it becomes a lie.  I am not angry over it but my heart is broken.

The hazard of really believing is that I believe it all.  I believe that the Father grieves over those who have left their commitments behind to serve other pursuits.  I believe that the key to peace is following Christ and being obedient to our commitments to him.  

So as I ponder Holy Week I realize that it will cost me.  My hallelujahs will be cold and broken because of absent friends. They will be filled with joy because of the present reality of all that I have in Christ. 

The joy in the journey is still there but so is the sorrow.  Holy week is a week of pain and suffering.  We have to have Maundy Thursday and Black Friday to get to Resurrection Sunday.  To deny the pain and sorrow of this is to forget that we pay for the party with our dearest blood.    

Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen

Now I've heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

She tied you to a kitchen chair

She broke your throne, and she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Now maybe there’s a God above

For me all I ever learned from love

Is how to shoot at someone who out drew you

It’s not cry you hear at night

It’s not some pilgrim who has seen the light

It’s a cold and broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I’ve been here before

I know this room

I’ve walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch

But love is not a victory march

It’s a cold and lonely hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know

What’s real and going on below

But now you never show it to me do you

Remember when I  moved in you

The holy dark was moving too

And every breath we was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain

I don't even know the name

But if I did, well really, what's it to you?

There's a blaze of light In every word

It doesn't matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much

I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch

I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you

And even though it all went wrong

I'll stand before the Lord of Song

With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I was thinking yesterday about the picture I put with my blog.   It was a heart carved out of pink quartz.  It was beautiful but it was still a heart of stone.  As I turn my heart and thoughts to holy week one of the things I am thankful for is that my heart is not hard.

I remember a time when it was and have no desire to return there.  The difficulty is that my hard heart is no longer that way because it was broken.  I have a positive outlook but I am also filled with sadness.  I am a man of hope and love but also constant sorrow. 

Sometimes my praise comes from a cold and broken place.  It is not cold because it lacks passion but rather because of the cold associated with loneliness.  That is not my point here but it is pertinent to the thought.   Before I get to the revels associated with the resurrection I want to pay attention to the grief and sorrow that make it possible.

We want to praise and worship but sometimes I am put in the place of sorrow so that I remember why I worship.  The resurrection requires the death.  The joy requires the sorrow.  No matter how good my life is there is a place of constant pain over sin and loss.  There is a damp spot in the corner of my eye.  There is always a corner to my smile.

There can be just as much faith in our broken cries of pain and sorrow.  I need to consider this for a space as I journey toward Holy Week.  Walk with me Dear Reader.  I could use your company.  Your thoughts are always welcome.

Better than a Hallelujah Sometimes – Amy Grant

God loves a lullaby

In a mother's tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

God loves the drunkard's cry

The soldier's plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

The woman holding on for life

The dying man giving up the fight

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing

Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out out miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful, the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah

(Better than a Hallelujah sometimes)

Better than a Hallelujah

(Better than a Hallelujah sometimes)

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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