Better Than A Hallelujah Sometimes – Disillusioned but Dreaming

Greetings Dear Reader,

Some days I torture my soul by dreaming that things will come back together in this life.  I am the dangerous kind of optimist that believes that God can and sometimes will reunite people.   I did not always believe this but I do now.  It is torture most evenings when the sun sets and the house is not a home because I am alone.

Still in the midst of the gnawing dark when I am disillusioned and alone I dream.  I dare to dream because I will go to the edge of hope but never beyond it.  When I dream of restoration and harmony I think some very true but offensive things.  I think about the energy we spend in pursuit of things that do not satisfy.  I think about the things we want that will not meet our needs. 

I ponder the hope that I have that people will find faith again or for the first time.  I ruminate over the sorrow that the Father must feel for those try some many false things to get needs met when he is everything we need.  I think of Jesus weeping over Jerusalem whispering, “I would have gathered you as a mother hen gathers her chicks but you would not have me.” 

The sorrow as my mind and heart turn toward Holy Week is for all those who have abandoned the one who holds everything they need.  The price paid to redeem us is beyond our comprehension.  All that Jesus asks in return is that we follow in faith.  Instead of doing this we load his request with judgmental baggage, conditional love, and active resistance.

He is everything I need if I will let him be everything.  This year I am counting the cost more closely than in the past.  I see the subtle and obvious ways we reject Christ.  I see the import of this in the things that plague our culture.  My sorrow toady focuses on the failure of those who follow Christ and represent him as he is.  In that sorrow is the joy that who he is cannot be thwarted by my failures.  That is hope.

Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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