Christmas On All Souls Day (part the third)

Greetings Dear Reader,

As we approach Thanksgiving and the first real snows fall on the town where I live I wonder at the completeness of commercial America’s transition into full Christmas mode. Not only is it Christmas town in all our local shops, but Christmas music is piping from overhead speakers everywhere. I LOVE IT.

I overheard two co-workers speaking of this on Friday. The attitude of one of them was amazing. She went on about how much she loved Christmas and liked the idea of extending the whole season. I agree with her but I am also holding on to some old traditions. I will not put up the tree until Thanksgiving weekend. I won’t wear my Christmas bandanna until then either. I will do my best to forgive anyone against whom I am carrying a grudge.

This last bit is very important. A couple dozen years ago I realized that celebrating the birth of Christ without forgiving those who have hurt us or wronged us is a contradiction. The birth of Christ is all about forgiveness. It is about a God who could destroy us with a thought, and rightfully so, choosing to become one of us and die for us instead. To set up a manger without an eye to the cross is a vast error. Christmas is about forgiveness and redemption.

I have never told my children this but each year when I sit and go over my Christmas lists I include one of people I need to forgive for one reason or another. It is true. I keep a gift list, shopping list for an open house, and the forgive them list. This year is harder than ever. You see I believe in real forgiveness not just lip service to it.

Forgiveness is not just that I stop feeling bad or being angry about something. I have to quit making the individual pay for their offense. I have to restore them to a proper relationship with me. In Christ’s model prayer he asks the Father to forgive us in the manner in which we forgive others. If I say I have forgiven someone and do not restore her to her proper place in my life, then I have not forgiven her. Forgiveness is not easy but so necessary.

So I challenge you to make another Christmas list. A list of gifts you can give that only cost faith, pain, and pride. I promise that this is hard for me this year but I will not harden my heart by ignoring it. How about you? It is gift giving season. Whom will you forgive? If you have questions about this I will try to answer them, but it really comes down to this. Christ died to forgive you. Why not celebrate Christ’s birth by honoring his purpose in having one.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Christmas Trees on All Souls Day (part the second)

Greetings Dear Readers,

I am wondering when you start your Christmas Shopping. My children joke that I start the day after Christmas. The big secret is that I actually start on Christmas Day. For me it is the joy of watching others open gifts, see delight in their eyes, and learn what pleases their hearts. I study what other like and enjoy so that as I begin searching for gifts they are based on the person and not the "duty" of gift giving.

I never give gifts out of duty or pressure to find a gift for someone. I would give the entire world a Christmas gift if I could. By starting my shopping as soon as possible I am usually done by the end of November. This leaves me free to do things like Bell Ring for the Salvation Army. For Christmas to work the giving of gifts must be motivated by the joy of giving. That comes from an understanding of why we even give gifts.

I seek to be excellent at giving thoughtful, appropriate, and loving gifts so that perhaps it will open the door to giving the best gift there is. I seek for others to see Christ in my gift giving. I want others to know they are loved and to see that the love I have for them comes from my love of Christ. Hopefully as I celebrate those I love I do so in a way that celebrated Christ. Perhaps you too can wander the malls and shops as you complete your Christmas list thinking of the gift of Christ and how others can benefit from seeing him in your giving.

If you are going to make that change this year, then it may be good that there were Christmas trees on All Souls Day. This means you have more time. If you try it out, let me know how you fared.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Christmas Trees on All Souls Day (part the first)

Greetings Dear Readers,

As those of you who know me well may recall, I love Christmas. Christmas seems to have started November 2nd this year. And I love it. It is not the commercialism I love, but rather it is Christ and his advent, or arrival to the world as the God-man who would redeem our souls. Whether you share my faith or not, you must admit that the story is awesome.

Consider it for a moment. The very essence of all that exists and all that will ever exist creates us so that He may have a relationship with us. He sets up rules for that relationship that are in line with his nature. We violate those rules, reject him, and force him to place summary judgment on our species.

At this point we see why I am not a god. Were I in this situation I would just scrap the human experiment and start over. Instead God chooses to do something that I would not conceive. He comes to live among us and die for us. He pays the debt for our sin and asks that we only accept him on faith so that we can restore our relationship to him.

That in a nutshell is why we even have Christmas. So back to my original thought here; and that is that I feel that I am winning. You see I am free to talk about Christmas now. Many will complain and bluster that “Christmas starts earlier every year.” I do not think they are saying that we should not celebrate the advent of Christ only in December, but rather that they already feel the pressure to spend and get that has overtaken this most Holy of Days (holiday).

On the other hand, I get to meet those feelings of curmudgeonly humbug with joy, mirth, and anticipation. Avalon’s actions in our lives have made the financial side of Christmas almost untenable this year. I am determined, however, to participate in every available moment of Christmas joy by finding ways to celebrate Christ and those I love in ways that will be financially inexpensive and spiritually profound. In a perfect world it would be always Christmas and briefly winter. Perhaps the materials world’s march toward this truth can allow those of us who celebrate the advent of Christ daily to feel free to do so allowed all year long.

Wishing you joy in the journey and Happy Christmas,

Aramis Thorn.

A Stack of Books and A Leap of Faith

Greetings Dear Readers,

Very often we want things for a good reason. Sometimes, along the way the wanting of the thing takes the place of the reason that we want it. For years I have wanted set of books that I only used briefly in the mid 80's. Over the years of wanting them the depth of my understanding of their purpose gave way to just wanting to possess them.

As my beloved wife Avalon leaves me for what she thinks is a better life, I have asked the same question of my feelings for her. Do I really love her or am I just trying to hold onto something I want having forgotten what it truly is? The true and harsh answer is both. I want MY WIFE. I do not want to go through the rejection, betrayal, violation of promises, and pain involved in a woman who vowed to stay with me for life deciding she does not have to abide by that promise. The last I checked I am not dead.

On the other hand, I truly do love her and know the meaning of that love. I have listened to others, as I go through this process, say things about Avalon that they would not say while she was in my life. The hard part is that the things that are being said are true. They are not pretty nor are they things I would allow myself to think about her. As I admit that there are some very unlovely things that are true about my departing spouse, I also realize that beyond on them I truly love her. It was an error to blind myself to those things and to not seek Christ's healing of my fears and her flaws in our marriage. It is necessary to never stop loving her, to see her as she is and constantly remember why I loved her from the beginning.

It is also necessary, for the sake of my own healing, to see her as she is, warts and all. I have done a good job of owning my own sin and failures. I have not been willing to remember that she is just as fallen as I am and that she has chosen a path contrary to the expressed desires of Christ. I must love her even though she rends me. I must remember the real reasons I loved her from the beginning and no matter what she does, see her as she is and continue to lover her.

I recently bought the books I spoke of earlier. I can see them from where I sit. I have delved deeply into them and remembered why I love them so much. They have something to teach me on every page. I bought them to remind me that you do not go into things so that you can blind yourself to what they are, but rather in faith see things as they are and work to make them more as God intended. Each time I study from my new books I intend to check on my faithfulness to seeing things as they are and not as I imagine or wish them to be. I will still look toward what they can become in Christ, but will do my best not to be blind to the wounds that need healing first. I failed Avalon in not seeing what she needed and I failed my sons in not seeing how those needs effected them and my relationship with them.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Boys of Summer

Greetings Dear Readers,

There is something about being a parent that is amazing. Opportunities abound when your children are young. Then they commit the terrible crime of growing up and opportunities become rare. As a teacher I had many summers to spend with my sons Maxim and Bezel growing up. We built some amazing memories and had some real and imagined adventures. I had the honor of teaching them to swim, discovering who they were becoming over Jamocha Shakes, and teaching them the wonder of baseball.

They are older now and the opportunities are few. They are good men trying to find the right path in a dangerous world. They are loyal friends. Maxim is a good husband to his wife Raven. His passion for the lost and seeing Christ touch the lives of others is inspiring. Bezel has a depth of loyalty and compassion that is incomparable. His charm and wit could win millions to Christ. They are amazing men who I also count at my best friends.

It astonishes me how much they have to teach me but I sometimes wonder about the things I need to begin to teach them. What is a father's place in the lives of his adult sons? I know that there are areas where I dare not tread. I must respect that they are young men but I see things they do not always see and am not sure how to communicate it to them.

There are other matters where I must teach them by action with few words. Currently I am teaching them how to handle pain and rejection at the hands of someone I love. I will have to teach them how a man handles aging, painful life changes, and facing the future without the love of your life. I hope they never have to apply these lessons but I will teach them just the same.

It is my job to be the example they need even when they do not wish it. I must handle all things with the grace and love of Christ. I must love them wear they are at all times. When I fail them I must own it completely. When they fail me I must insist that they own it but do so in a spirit of gentle and restorative love. I love my sons with a fire that is unquenchable. I challenge all men who are blessed with sons to do the same; be vulnerable about your failures, hold them accountable for their, most important, evidence the grace and love of Christ is all things.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Advent Conspiracy

Greeteings Dear Readers,

I am passionate about Christmas. I always have been. My children actually call me Captain Christmas. My church and many across the world are involved in an event called the Advent Conspiracy (http://www.adventconspiracy.org/). It has become a great focus for practices I have held for years in order to point the traditions of Christmas back to Christ. Nothing matters about this season if Christ is not honored, hearalded, and heard.

The noise of shopping, getting, materialism, and debauchery drown out the message that the living God wants to redeem the paradise that we have destroyed. He desires this so much that he would rather die than live without us. To this end he "became flesh and dwelt among us." We call that the Advent of Christ. We celebrate it with the Celebration of Christ or "Christ Mass."

I have posted some of the practices that highlight our Christmas season. I will post others as the celebration of the Advent approaches. Here is the post and a link to my Church's site for participation.

http://adventconspiracy.wordpress.com/

Practical Practices are the only way for this to work. I will share a couple that our family practices in hope that it will encourage you.

We have a family tradition that for the money we spend on Christmas gifts we set aside matching funds for those in need. The week before Christmas we gather around a Salvation Army Kettle at a busy shopping location. (on a side note, they always need bell ringers. We take four or five two hour shifts each Christmas season to ring bells, sing carols, and help people have their needs met. You can sign up at www.ringbells.org.)

When we meet at the kettle I have already turned the money in $5 bills and divided them evenly between the gathered family. We take turns putting bills into the kettle and expressing out loud something for which we are thankful. It is such joy to watch the excitement of our children build as the bills disappear into the kettle.

A personal habit of mine is to sing Christmas hymns out loud as I shop. Most of the time people stop and listen, join in, or make positive comments. Cashiers listen as they ring up my purchases and they are cheered. I always sing songs that worship Christ and promote the true purpose of the advent of Christ. Most of all it keeps me focused on why I am in the world; to spread the light that is Christ and do my bit to help restore men to God.

Try it out.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

God's Sense of Humor

Greetings Dear Readers,

It occurs to me that many people fail to see that like any loving father, God often laughs at what we do as his children. I have struggled greatly with my writing this year as Avalon tore apart our family by leaving us. She was my first reader; the one on whom I could count to show me where my writing had strength and where it needed retooling. This loss put a painful crimp in my writing for some time.

I reached a critical point two weeks ago when Avalon told me she was actually going to divorce me. I sat in front of my blank page not knowing what to do with the pain through which I could not form words. Later that week I breakfasted with my eldest son, Maxim. He happened to ask me about my writing. I explained how much difficulty I was experiencing and he encouraged me to keep at it.

I am not one to "put out fleeces" or in other words, ask God for a sign or affirmation of his direction for me. Instead I usually search the Word, pray, and ask the counsel of friends I trust. I decided I was going to make a decision concerning my writing by last Monday. I was either going to dig back in full tilt or set it aside for a long time. I prayed about this choice silently, not letting on to anyone that I was considering walking away from that which is a core passion to me.
I realize that so far I have not said much that is humorous. But the Father's laughter is coming. Monday of this week arrived and I had not decided. The college where I teach had held a celebration day the previous Friday and there were leftovers. On the table in the faculty lounge sat a bowl of cookies. (Please note that at this moment I am experiencing an uncomfortable pause of embarrassment) The cookies were fortune cookies. I love fortune cookies; not the fortune but the almond/orange flavor of the cookie itself. I grabbed one on the way out the door not thinking any thing about it.

The thing about fortune cookies is that they are nebulous, general, and vague. Anyone can roll their future into such phrases "Your intelligence will be seen by all" or "Expect an unusual opportunity to come your way." It is very easy to match what you do to the generalization of the fortune. I have always believed as well that one could benefit from the encouragement of these generalizations even if they are non-specific.

I created some ceremony for my sons when they were growing up around being careful to distribute the fortune cookies that accompanied our Chinese food. I would select from the cookies the "right one" for each person dining with us and then we would compare how the generalized fortune applied to us. It provided great entertainment after an excellent meal.

So to deliver on my promise here is the Father's injection of humor. As I said earlier I walked by the bowl and grabbed a cookie at random. On my way to my next destination I simply unwrapped it, enjoyed the cookie's sweet almond flavor, and read the fortune as an afterthought. I stopped, read it again, and broke into serious fits of laughter at my heavenly Father's great sense of humor. There was no vagary in the words on the small strip of paper. It is currently taped above my monitor as I write this. It simply read "You will become an accomplished writer."

I could hear my heavenly Father laughing softly at his little joke which also was a message of great import. I will face the pain and fear I feel as I return to the blank page without my beloved Avalon. I know I have something to offer as a writer and I know that "accomplished" may only mean being faithful to my calling. I will write every day and in doing so honor the love I hold for my Lord, my family who supports me, and my absent Avalon.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

To Immensity and Beyond

Greetings Dear Readers,

Do you enjoy the beach? I know I do. I spent many summers of my youth walking the sands of a small Island off the South Carolina coast. Think of the vast grains of sand it takes to make up a single beach. We love to quantify things and yet there are some things that cannot be actually quantified. We can estimate how much sand there is on a beach, but it is not the quantity of sand that makes the beach for us. It is the unique beauty and temporal nature of that beauty that creates awe in us.

Albert Einstein observed that "Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." What then do we do with the vastness that is in God? I cannot measure the grace and love he must extend to put up with my often rebellious existence. Furthermore, he asks me then to extend grace and love to others and promises to provide to me the measure of that grace and love needed to do so. At what point does God's grace end so that I may quit extending grace to others? It does not.

Someone recently told me that they could not extend grace to me because it would be unwise to do so. They twisted the purpose of grace to their own ends to justify harming me. They do not know the future and neither do they see what grace God would give them to supply their need. I do not wish a God who measures out grace in teaspoons that must be earned. I think it more wise to count on grace to be sufficient for me to extend myself again when necessary so that as I am stretched thin, even to the breaking point, I become more transparent so that others can see it is Christ who provides the grace and I am just the conduit.

Pray that I stand in this rain of grace that God pours down on me so that I may become all he needs me to be to make his love known in the lives of others. I love living for a God who is immeasurable, uncountable, and unquantifiable. Anything less would cheapen my faith.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Results in Time

The half minute which we daily devote to the winding-up of our watches is an exertion of labour almost insensible; yet, by the aid of a few wheels, its effect is spread over the whole twenty-four hours. Charles Babbage -

Greetings Beloved Readers,

It has been so long since I wound a watch I wonder how many of those younger than me ever have. We do so many things as we prepare for the day but we seldom have to wind watches any longer. Like watch winding though, so many things can yield a greater return to our day.

If I exercise for half and hour, I due my body systems great good for the entire day. If I eat a good breakfast it sustains me through the morning. Both of these activities, repeated over many days will sustain me well throughout the years. Another activity; however, can sustain me for much longer.

Every morning I take a few minutes, 15-20, to read my Bible and pray. I listen to what God has to say to me and give myself back to him for the day. There is no special trick or method. I just listen and talk. I try to maintain the conversation throughout the day, applying what I have read to the ripples and waves of my existence. When I have read about being kind, I take extra care to be good to vendors at the gas station or grocery store. If I read about patience, I extend it to my students and family. The point is that this simple act, if acted upon can yield kindness and grace injected into the lives of others every day.

I no longer wind a watch, but this daily time with God; a very small investment, yields great results that can ripple into not only my day, but the day and eternity of others as well. You do not need to take my word for it. You are free to try it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Tiers of Hope

Greetings Dear Readers,


To the right, you will see the picture of a Tiffin. It hails from India and is used there as a lunch box. I encountered one for the first time about ten years ago when working with a community organization. I have wanted one ever since. As the need to be careful how much waste I generate grows more important to me, I realized how much this would reduce my waste for taking lunches to work.


I bought a four tier tiffin (they come in 2 - 7 tiers), on eBay, from a very nice lady in the UK. She was so nice I will provide a link to her eBay store so you can get your tiffin from her. http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZmin36 Should the link not work, her eBay handle is min36. Please give her your custom should you decide to purchase a tiffin. Good sellers deserve more business. Now back to the tiffin. As I waited for it to arrive I realized there are so many possibilities for its use.

One can take their lunch/dinner without using plastic bags.
One can surprise a friend or loved one with a hot meal.
One could create a very portable picnic with this tiered container, add a bottle of good wine and have a romantic evening at the park
The possiblities are probably endless

It is made of stainless steel and each layer is self-contained. So why all the big fuss? Well, you see, I have a hard time getting things for myself. Given the current stresses in my life, it is very unlikely that I would like myself enough to do something like this. But I did. I bought a tiffin. It arrived yesterday and I have washed it and will take my lunch in it today. You see, every day I can build little layers of lunch. I will not need to decide if I am going to try and rinse out the zip lock bag to use it one more time. I have a sustainable food transport system; a gift I have given myself and in a small way, the rest of the world. I have so many other things I can give the world if I will just do it. Today I will not use any disposable items to carry my lunch. The tiffin will fit right in my lunch box with my titanium spork (yes I really have a titanium spork http://www.thinkgeek.com/ ). Lately I have shed many tears of sorrow and pain, but thanks to Min in the UK, today I have some tiers of hope. Thank you Min.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn