Second Thoughts – Laundry Challenges

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

This past weekend I was to spend a day with my Daughter Christmas.  I also had a burgeoning need to do laundry.  She did as well.  We agreed that we would visit the city wide yard sales in a neighboring village and enjoy dinner at a restaurant next to a laundromat of which we knew. 

We both love the restaurant and it seemed an excellent way spend the time together, do the chore, and enjoy our day.  Thereby as they say hangs a tale.  I do not like to carry change.  When I have change I deposit it in a large glass pig or in the case of quarters into a small seal-able bowl on my credenza. 

The small bowl held about fifty dollars in quarters.  I brought these along to feed the metal beasts that would launder our clothing whilst we dined on General Tso’s Chicken and fried rice.  The first indication that there would be challenges was that the laundromat was crowded.  It seemed that every washer and dryer was occupied. 

We discovered that the large capacity ones in the back had enough available units for our loads of washing.  We put the clothes in to wash and went next door to obtain dinner; so far so good.  I should know to worry when things are going according to plan.

Whilst we were getting our takeout the remainder of the village turned out to do laundry.  We returned and set a timer that matched the reaming washing time.  We ate at conversed until the timer told us it was time to check our wash.  The machines were just spinning down when we arrived at them.

Unfortunately there were no empty dryers.  The one posting the soonest completion time offered to be ready twenty minutes into the future.  I suggested that we instead head to my place and use the dryer there.  Then we could dry in leisure whilst enjoying the evening.  Christmas agreed. 

Not only did I leave the tub of quarters but I injured my shoulder foolishly trying to carry both totes of wet laundry.  I wanted to become angry.  I desired to rant over my lost quarters.  Then I added the cost of the event.

Cost to wash the clothes - $10.75

Cost to dry the clothes - $6.00

Cost of lost quarters - $40.50

Showing my Daughter that she matters more than inconveniences - Priceless

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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I AM – The Gate

Greetings Dear Reader,

John 8:7-10 “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”’

In the first century when a shepherd penned in his sheep for the night he slept in the opening to the pen.  He became the gate that kept the sheep in place.  He served as the protection from things outside and reassurance for the sheep inside.

We get into one of the hard things about follow Christ.  This is one of times where Jesus is explaining his purpose.  Jesus is the gate to the Father.  He is here to bring us abundant life.  He is here to be our access to the Father. 

We get to our time with the Father and our sustenance through Christ.  We come and go in our daily lives by his grace and provision.  Jesus is the gate through which we enter all of this.

In an era where we are encouraged to coexist and be tolerant of other faiths we see that Jesus claims to be the gate through which we must enter.  This claim will become clearer later.  I know it is arrogant and raises many questions.  It is, however, clear that Jesus claims to be the path to the Father.  He claims to be the gate. 

As a follower of Christ I cannot deny this and be honest.  I also cannot deny that Christ’s followers often do a poor job of reflecting the necessary humility in this arrogance.  In fact we fail to show the necessary humility in most things.  If I have the only answer then I must live it and earn the right to speak it.

To do anything else is to harm the message I carry.  I will fail and fall.  I must learn and rise.  I will not always understand so I must abide in faith.  It is in following closely that I can find rest when it is time inside the sanctuary where Christ is the gate.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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I AM – Light of the World and the Southern Cross

Greetings Dear Reader,

As most of you know I plan the facets of my writing on a topic in advance.  Some are obvious to me at the outset and some less so.  I was speaking with my friend Dwight yesterday about fresh bread (as referenced in yesterday’s discourse).  The conversation turned to other things we remember and one of them was the Southern Cross.

I have written about this beautiful constellation before (see the link above).   And it is one of the things that puts me in mind of Jesus’ claim to be the light of the world.  I am also reminded that my first word was light as was my eldest Son’s.  This is uncommon.  I realize that may sound a bit disjointed but it leads to my thoughts on light and Jesus as the Light.

John finds this important as he writes about Jesus.  The relationship between humans and light is a vital one.  We seek light.  We are not naturally nocturnal.  That is when most of us sleep.  We create artificial light whenever possible.  We are as a species drawn to light.

Jesus best friend refers to Jesus as the light that shines in the darkness yet is not comprehended by the darkness.  I see so much of the darkness against which I struggle as a lack of comprehension of the light.  I am supposed to be “the light of the world.”  I often find, however, that I am unsure how to shine. 

I think about how many times I have fallen.  I wonder if the Spirit is using me.  I try to listen to the larger voice that calls me.  I think about the Southern Cross and renew my resolve to be better light and less dark.  I then remember that dark can only be understood as the absence of light. 

Life for me is either the presence of Christ or the absence of him.  Since he is always there it comes to my recognition of it.  If I am to follow the light of the world then I have to keep my eyes open.  After all once I know that the Light is there I can only avoid it if I close my eyes.  If I do not see the light and follow it then it is because I have chosen not to do so. 

So many things try to make me forget about the love of Christ.  So many things entice me to never fail to fail.  So much darkness wants to gain my attention over the light.  Something fine wants to come along and forget about loving Jesus, and the Southern Cross. 

Southern Cross – Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

Got out of town on a boat to the Southern islands

Sailing a reach before a following' sea

She was making' for the trades on the outside

And the downhill run to Pipette

Off the wind on this heading lie the Marquesas

We got eighty feet of the waterline nicely making way

In a noisy bar in Avalon I tried to call you

But on a midnight watch I realized why twice you ran away

Think about how many times I have fallen

Spirits are using me; larger voices calling'

What Heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten

(Around the world) I have been around the world

(Looking') Looking' for that woman, girl

(Who knows she knows) Who knows love can endure

And you know it will

When you see the Southern Cross for the first time

You understand now why you came this way

'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small

But it's as big as the promise, the promise of a coming' day

So I'm sailing for tomorrow my dreams are a dying'

And my love is an anchor tied to you tied with a silver chain

I have my ship and all her flags are a' flying'

She is all that I have left and music is her name

Think about

Think about how many times I have fallen

Spirits are using me larger voices calling'

What Heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten

(I've been around the world) I have been around the world

(Looking') Looking' for that woman girl

Who knows love can endure

And you know it will, and you know it will yes

Oooh...

So we cheated and we lied and we tested

And we never failed to fail it was the easiest thing to do

You will survive being bested

Somebody fine will come along make me forget about loving you

And the southern cross

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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I AM – The Bread of Life

Greetings Dear Reader,

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. (John 6:35)

I used to live near a bakery.  In the morning the aroma of fresh baked bread would dance upon the wind to my home.  As I would exit to make my way to work each day that aroma would visit a euphoric feeling upon me even when my mood was dark or brooding.  There is something about fresh bread that touches us deep within.

We live in a world where hunger is still a constant problem.  From the Mana in Exodus to the Passover Supper before the crucifixion bread plays a vital part in our understanding of who Jesus claims to be for us.  The people he addresses, having been part of the five thousand he fed, now ask for another miracle in order to believe.

Instead of taking offense at their arrogance he reminds that it was not Moses but the Father who provided the Mana every day for years.  He reminds them that all physical bread is temporary and spoils.  He then tells them that he is the Bread of Life. 

We all seek for signs when so many have already been given.  Throughout the history of the redemption story we are encouraged to devour who God is for us.  We are told to taste and see that the Lord is good.  The need for the Father and the Son is as basic as the need for bread.

Jesus asked us to ask the Father for daily bread.  We need to ask the Father for closeness to Christ daily.  We need to find daily sustenance in Christ.    I need to be satisfied with him as my daily portion for strength to follow.  It is when I dine on lesser things that I flag and fail.  Jesus claims to be that which can and will sustain me.  How can I be satisfied with lesser things?

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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I AM – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Most of you know that my heart in this writing is to follow Christ more closely.  I succeed and I fail.  I fall and I rise. I retreat and I advance.  It is after all a journey. 

Since my goal is to follow Christ I would spend some time refreshing my recollection of who Jesus claims to be.  His best friend, John documents the moments where Jesus makes statements about who he is.  These are called the I AM statements of Christ.

The reason this matters is that the Father gives us a name by which to call him when he is instructing Moses.  That name is “I AM”.   We follow the God who is.  He is a constant more than the northern star.  He is the ever present presence in the presence.

As I walk through my thoughts on these claims of Jesus I hope to find ways to follow more closely.  Since the Father and Son are one God it allows me to know them both better.  That is my desire.  I want to know them in the now.  I want to see Jesus as he claims to be and journey with him in every moment.

Please journey with me.  As always I value your thoughts and questions as well.  They will only help me follow more closely.

Know You in The Now – Michael Card

A light so many strain to see

The One we talk so much about

But rarely ever live it out

Could You tell me why

Was it for this You came and died

A once a week observance

When we coldly mouth Your words

Lord I long to see

Your presence in reality

But I don't know how

Let me know You in the now

We should confess

We lose You in our busyness

We've made You in our image

So our faith's idolatry

Lord, deliver me

Break my heart so I can see

All the ways You dwell in us

That You're alive in me

Lord I long to see

Your presence in reality

But I don't know how

Let me know You in the now

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

The inner conversations take up so much that we do not realize.  Little did I know when I began writing this series that I would get an entire day to battle my thoughts unbidden.  I think that much of our conflict erupts when our internal conversations spill out on each other in anger or pain.

When our inner conversations have free reign they produce as much fear and anger as possible.  Past pain bubbles up in the soup to unite with current offenses and create doom and gloom.  The fallen self prods us to judge and condemn.  It yearns for us to give lease to hurtful words instead of honest communication. 

Whatever causes the inner thoughts that assails my peace I am required to bring them into captivity.  I must avoid vain imaginations or faithless ponderings.  I must not let the lesser emotions have purchase or give fear control.

At the end of the day I often feel worn and tattered.  I know that we win in the end but most days I feel like I am losing.  The quiet dark settles in and I repair to my chambers At the bottom of the well of thoughts lie the ghost and goblins of the past.  They work hard to tell me I am losing.  I so often feel like I am losing everything.  I know that I am not but I must control the conversations in my head.

Thank you for your company Dear Reader.  You have no idea how much I value you.  That too is a part of the constant conversation in my head.

Losing – Tenth Avenue North

I can't believe what she said

I can't believe what he did

Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?

Maybe there's something I missed

But how could they treat me like this?

It's wearing out my heart

The way they disregard

This is love, this is hate...

We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Well it's only the dead that can live

But still I wrestle with this

To lose the pain that's mine

Seventy times seven times

'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right

For me to turn a blind eye

Though I guess it's not that much

When I think of what You've done.

This is love, this is hate...

We've got a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Oh, no!

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?

We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought

But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground

We build our bridges up but just to burn them down

We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop

But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound

Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down

Oh, Father won't you forgive them?

They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Yeah, I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

I feel like I've been losin'

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them

'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – Self Deprecation

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the areas at which we all seem to excel is being unkind to ourselves.  We hold so much of the conversation on our heads about who we are and what we can do.  We say things about ourselves we would not tolerate being said about our friends or loved ones. 

We fail to see ourselves as the Father sees us and we do not then take advantage of all we can be.   We limit our lives based on this inner talk.  We lose before we begin so often.   We know we can be so much more but we hinder it in our minds.

We become what we believe.   We experience what we talk ourselves into.  I cannot be all that Christ wishes me to be unless I truly follow him.  That includes seeing myself as he sees me.  It means having the courage to accept his vision of me instead of my own.  This is a daily or sometimes hourly struggle.  If I believe I can't I will be right every time.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – I’ll Tell You What You Are Thinking

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the most dire aspects of the conversations in our heads is that of holding the conversation for both people in a discussion.  We presume what others will say and impose it upon them.  We complete their thoughts even before they have so done and judge them on our assumptions of their minds.

When explained in this way it seems ridiculous that we would do such.  We, however, do just this.  We assume what others are thinking thus robbing them of the opportunity to do it on their own. 

The dire loss in this is that of the opportunity to hear what others have to say.  We judge and condemn based on our inner conversation.  We grow angry over things we imagine others to think.  We lose the opportunity to hear what may be different from our imaginations. 

We also lose understanding when in this place.  We fail to see someone as he is in the moment and instead see him as we assume he is.  We use our past experience to pre-determine the future.  We use our own thinking to build the person we think someone to be and reject him before he can speak.

Since I am to treat others as I wish to be treated then I must not do this.  I must listen with my heart.  I must let others speak and be true to who they are.  I must risk this in order to really see. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – Really Listening

Greetings Dear Reader,

When someone else takes the time to speak with me I try to really listen.  Sometimes I really fail.  It is not due to a lack of concern for what is being said.  It is mostly due to thinking about what I want to say instead of hearing.

My Grandfather used to say, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.  Listen twice as much as you talk.” 

Ponder that for a moment.  What if we were to really listen?  I feel so ashamed in those times where I let the conversation in my head keep me from really hearing the conversation in front of me. I have an obligation to really listen when someone takes the risk of talking. 

One of the things the conversation in my head can do is help me to see what is really being said; the words behind the words.  If I am really listening I can hear more than words.  I can hear the heart and hurt being unspoken but told.  If I set aside my own conversation I can use the conversation in my head to help.

Listening is an act of will which can become a habit if I do it well.   As with so many aspects of the inner conversation I must master what I do when others speak.  I must hear the words, the hurts, and the heart of others.  I must have compassion that makes a difference.

If I listen with the right aspect of the conversations in my head I can do good things.  If not I will only muck it up.  Controlling this aspect of the conversations in my head is vital to following Christ with my thoughts.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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The Conversations In My Head – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

We all have an internal dialogue.   It can be pleasant and condemning all at once.  It feeds our courage and our fear.  It is there in the best of times and the worst of times. 

Sometimes the conversation bleeds over into the conversation with others.  Our inner voices assumes what others will say and we hold both sides for discussion without actually talking to the others person. 

We can also allow the inner voice to rule our choices in how we interact with others.  We always fail when we allow certain inner conversations to rule our choices.  We also  have that inner voice that can strengthen us and move us along to better things.

We become what we think we are.  We become what we decide to become.  I need to assess what voices are getting the most attention from my inner ear.  I must assure that I am not listening to the wrong one. 

Walk with me for a bit if you care to join the conversation.  I know that as I expose some of that inner dialogue to this bright light of self-searching that I will value your thoughts Dear Reader.  The journey is long and your company encourages me.    

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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