Say Something ~ Kind Words

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the mysteries of following Christ is that we do not know the outcome of all we do until the end of all we do.  We are supposed to do good things in secret.  We are not supposed to look for reward or recognition.  Our purpose and motivations are to be external and pure.  Not knowing the outcome can aid in this if we allow it.

This preamble is a lead-in to the understanding of how much impact kind words can have.  If I make the effort to be kind knowing that I will not know the outcome, I can more freely offer kindness without being concerned about myself.

One of the areas where this is a dire need in our culture is the simple offering of kind words.  When we say something kind and unexpected we rarely know what difference it will really make.  Sometimes, however, we get a glimpse.

Recently I went into a diner that I visit infrequently but enjoy.  My server was the same young lady who waited on me four months ago.  When she saw me at the door she immediately came up to me and showed me to a table in her section.  Before I could get out a proper greeting she teared up and started talking.

“I have been hoping you would come back.  What you said to me last time you were here has changed everything.  I am in school.  I am working toward my dream job and I am so much more hopeful than when we met in January.”

She went on to explain that when I visited the diner in January she was about to leave the city and move to what would have turned out to be a bad situation.  The people she was planning to live with had all gotten into serious trouble.  Since business was slow, we talked about her future for the next hour as I enjoyed my breakfast.

It took some time to remember what I had said to her on my first visit with her.  I remembered eventually that I was impressed with her vocabulary and complimented her on it.  She was articulate and intelligent.  We had a great conversation about words and their use.  I mentioned that her voice was also one that was easy to listen to. 

What I did not know was that she had always wanted to work in radio.  She had an opportunity to get a scholarship in that field but was not confident enough to take it.  Apparently, our short conversation tipped the balance.

I could only be a part of this good thing because I try to always find something kind and genuine to say to someone.  Doing this makes an impact whether I ever see it or not.  It leaves behind seeds of hope that I may never see bloom.  In this instance I was blessed to see the outcome of my practice. 

We are supposed to encourage and build up each other.  We are designed to be kind.  Our words have so much more power than we realize.  I must be kind whenever possible.  I must also be kind whenever it seems impossible.  The reward is in the act.  Say something kind Dear Reader.  It will make a difference.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Say Something ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have always been fascinated by the hour glass.  I often use the metaphor of the hour glass to focus on the passage of time.   One of my reasons for this is that each grain of sand represents a moment to me.  As that grain passes through the pinch I see it passing through the present.  I think you get the idea.

There are moments; moments when we know what to say and who needs to hear it.  It often is true that we see that moment as it hits the pinch.  Instead, however, we sit silent as the moment passes.  We let it fall from the future, through the present, into the past without grasping the opportunity.

I have areas of my life where I, perhaps, should say things but I do not.  Moreover, I have often spoken when I should have remained silent.  Since there is balance required in all things, I clearly have had to learn it here. 

Over the next few days I will try to deepen my balance by thinking through when I should and should not speak.  I primarily need to deepen my understanding of when I should speak.  I need to deepen my ability to grasp the moment and say what needs to be said.

Please walk with me for a bit whilst we speak about speaking.  I want to learn how to better say things that encourage and enlighten.  I desire to follow Christ more closely by using words to build up others.  As always Dear Reader, your questions and comments are welcome.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Bat Dog and Other Considerations

Greetings Dear Reader,

Even if you do not like baseball, stay with me Dear Reader.  There is something here for you. I promise.

Last night I was privileged to host my friends Jeff and Ruby at a Mallards baseball game.  This is a summer league for college students who have a real shot at playing professional baseball.  It may be some of the best baseball out there.  One can read about this kind of league in The Last Best League by Jim Collins. 

Even though my Mallards lost I got to spend a pure baseball evening with friends.  True to tradition the play was good, there were entertaining asides, and the food was excellent.  It was a humid summer evening that reminded me of Braves games as a youth with my Grandfather.  The breeze that had all of the flags standing to did not reach down into the seats to offer any release from the cloying damp air.  One might better understand the torpor that besieges Southerners in summer.

One of the entertainments for the night was a dog that retrieved the bats for the Mallards after each hit (video by Jeff).  As soon as play halted he would rush out, grab the back like a stick, and run it back to the dugout.  It made me wonder what he would do should the bat be broken.  We speculated that it might be a two-trip deal.  We also pondered how it made the batter feel when he would fly out and people were applauding the dog as the batter made his way to the dugout.

As the game drew to a close the wind shifted in a way that I recall often from my youth.  A refreshing cool breeze turned the flags to flying in the opposite direction.  To the puerile this may have seemed like a boon.  It was a lulling portent to the experienced.  Before the first distant flash of lightning, I knew that heavy rain was on its way. 

The gamed ended and my friends wisely made their way to the parking lot.  The walk to my car was quite a way.  Still I observed a tradition that I have after every baseball game that I attend.  For the first time, however, I revealed this sacred moment to someone.  I explained to my friend Jeff that I was going to spend a minute with my Grandfather before departing.

I took a moment as the impending storm built to pray and thank the Father for my Grandfather and the influence he has in my life.  As I mentioned earlier this week, he would have turned 108 on the 12^th.   His love of God and baseball turned those shared experiences at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium into sacred times for me when I was a boy. 

We would often have to hurry to the car as a summer thunderstorm approached after a game.  Back then the Braves usually lost.  The conjunction of the humidity, the storm, the loss, and the time with friends last night made the moment echo those boyhood memories in a special way.

It reminded me that any space is sacred when the heart is turned to gratitude and love.  It put me in mind that those summer nights long ago spent in section 101, row 1, seats 1 and 2 with my Grandfather was one of the best classrooms I ever visited.  Last night in section 107, row 6, seats 1 through 4 I experienced a sacred time with good friends.

The conversation afterwards with the Father and my Grandfather was all about gratitude and love.  Both the past and the present baseball moments were things for which I am grateful.  The essence of it all reminds that the joy in the journey is found by seeing the sacred part of every moment whether it be friends, bat dog, or the weather.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Closing

Greetings Dear Reader,

It is very easy to collect debt to grace, mercy, and kindness.  We are overdue on our accountability to these things daily.  If we fail to be accountable or carry too many expectations we deepen our debt. 

Keeping short accounts with this debt is wise.  It yields a much more peaceful life.  When we keep a zero-sum balance in our quest to live out love, we do so by avoiding judgment, unjust expectations, and having accountability.  We achieve it by mitigating and dismissing our anger by dealing with it honestly. 

It seems that the answer for me is always the same.  I must constantly seek to have and show grace, love, and kindness.  I must always shorten the time between the things that would stop these in my life and when I live them. 

In the quest to follow Christ my only hope is this path.  If I fail this I will not see him clearly enough to follow.  There is no circumstance where I cannot find peace if I follow in faith with these things as my passion.  In that is where the Zen of zero lies.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Expectations

Greetings Dear Reader,

This is the crux of the entire endeavor.  This is the fire we light in the crucible.  So many of our difficulties with other humans lie in our expectations.  Before I dive too deeply into this I want to draw a line.

There is a difference between placing and expectation upon someone and in expecting someone to fulfill an obligation.  The former is what I want to address here.  The latter is a matter of course in honest congress between humans.  If you say, “I will be there at six for dinner,” it is just for me to expect you to be there at six for dinner.  This falls under the simple understanding of “do what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it.”

It is the expectations that we place on others without their agreement or even inclusion that cause us heartache that is ours alone.  I dated a girl for about fifteen minutes who expected me to know how often to call her and how long to stay on the phone without us ever discussing it.  This was before we all had instant access to each other via mobile phones. 

She believed that I should call her every evening after dinner and talk on the phone for at least half an hour.  I did this by accident for three days.  The fourth day I was out with some friends.  My sister reported that the young lady had called eight times wanting to know when I would be home.  We had never discussed how often we would talk.  When we did talk that night, I received a barrage of accusations and epithets that made it clear I was dealing with a difficult individual. 

Her own manufactured expectations led to false disappointment and anger.  This is what we do to each other.  I know that I do it and I must not.  We do the same thing in the larger sphere.  We expect those who do not follow Christ to act like those who claim to follow him.  We expect people to live by our morality even when they do not share our beliefs. 

We place expectations on others without knowing what they think and feel.  We all do this.  It is at the core of our lack of showing true love for each other.  It is where we derail our ability to show love.  Imagine the good that can be done when we lovingly treat others well without placing expectations on them.

It becomes easy to do good things for others.  It is more difficult to avoid doing so without expectations.  It is in that expectation that we lose the unconditional nature of our loving acts.  We place a post-kindness condition on things.  This erodes the good that love can do for others.  It occludes one’s ability to see Christ in our kindnesses.

I must avoid placing unjust expectations on others.  I must love without condition and only expect what others guarantee.  Even then, I must be willing to forgive when they do not do as expected.  The zero-sum here is to expect nothing without being cynical.  It is a narrow balance that I must constantly seek.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Commitment

Greetings Dear Reader,

It seems that this word, “commitment” edges daily toward being a word to avoid.  Our society seems to think that when we make a commitment we are not bound by it.  Further, it seems that asking for one is unjust. 

I am not just talking about marriage and relationships here.  I am talking about the common transactions of communication involving “will you” questions and “I will” responses.  We make commitments like this all the time.  We also break them at will. 

It goes to our integrity and our will.  It gets at the vital trust necessary to interact peacefully as humans.  Our responsibility is to be able to be trusted.  Our word needs to be enough.  A “yes” needs to be understood as a commitment.  We need to do what we say we are going to do when we say we are going to do it.

When I say “yes” I ask for trust from another person.  If I do not keep my commitment I have violated that trust.  It is not simple or unimportant.  It is a violation.   It is a failure on my part if I do not keep my commitments.  I have failed at this and learned how important it is to keep a zero-sum balance on my word.

If we say we will do something we should do it.  Our ability to have joy in the journey is limited by carrying the weight of unfulfilled promises.  It is our own integrity that suffers and this wounds us whether we see it or not.  We suffer when we do not keep our word.

The Zen of zero is achieved by only committing to those things we will do and doing them.  It is important that I do what I say.  After all, we do what we believe; everything else is just talk, and sometimes lies.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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Second Thoughts ~ Two Birthdays in my Heart

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you, Dear Reader.

Please remember that my second thoughts are not after-thoughts or lesser thoughts.  Today two streams of thought manage a conjunction that is precious to me in the river of time and thoughts that run beside my path.  Both center around birth.

My Grandfather would have turned 108 today.  He always referred to himself as “a June bug.”  In ten years he will have been gone as long as he was here.  I probably think of things like this more often than most.  What it brings me to is the significant good he did in the nine years that I knew him.  I would give so much so often to be able to speak to him. 

Today is also my friend, Samantha’s birthday.  She is much younger than 108.  Her impact on those around her, however, is eternal and timeless.  She has a heart that supports and cheers others at every turn.  She is passionate about creating good food for her friends.  When it comes to this she is genuinely an artist. 

When she became my friend, it was clearly a divine appointment.  She supports my writing and my vision whenever possible.  I am thankful for her friendship and ask you to join me in wishing her joy and peace on her advent anniversary.

We do not get enough time to celebrate each other properly.  I wanted to take a moment to be sure to do so for her.  Happy Birthday, Samantha.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Anger

Greetings Dear Reader,

We all get angry.  If we say we do not then we are lying.  I am not saying that we all have a hot temper or that we are wrong to get angry.  I am simply laying the common ground that we all feel angry at times.

Anger is not wrong on its own.  We do need to consider the source and purpose of our anger.  We also must maintain its fire and duration.  That is where we can gain the Zen of zero regarding it.

One of the things that has me pondering all of this is my growing difficulty with my anger.  Most of the reasons for my anger are justified.  That is not the issue.  The issue is that I have not maintained a zero balance with that anger.  I used to live always out of balance with my anger.  I had a hot and ready temper that lashed out like Olympian lightning.

When others see me angry it must be much more unpleasant than I understand.  This and the aforementioned problem are enough for me to need to maintain my anger as close to zero as possible.  The difficulty is that instead of dealing with it, I sometimes suppress or deny it.  This makes it impossible to achieve a zero-sum with anger.

When I suppress it I will eventually boil over.  I will lash out or make unreasonable choices and demands.   When I deny it I take more damage and it whittles away at my confidence and serenity.  I have some guidelines that help prevent this.  I must make sure that I am never too unaware to use them.

Here they are.  Keep the meat; throw the bones in the fire:

• I ask if my anger is justified.  Have I really been wronged or is it my pride and expectations?  It is easy to dismiss this without really thinking through it.
• If my anger is not justified, I must examine what caused it.  I must root out my improper thinking and actions that led me to this place.  I must adjust my attitude and actions to temper my anger (pun intended).  I must put things in place to mitigate a reoccurrence. 
• If my anger is justified, I must wrangle my emotions.  Paul tells us to “be angry and not sin”.  Both of these are commands.  They can live in harmony.  The first step is to control my emotional response so that I do no harm.  This is very hard for me.
• Once I have my emotions under control I must consider how I will show love to the source of my anger.  How will I set up a path to forgiveness and reconciliation? 
• No matter what it takes I need to forgive immediately.  I must never go to bed angry.  I must not let the day end in anger.  It is unhealthy and eventually dangerous.
• Even if the other party never admits wrong or changes behavior, I must not rekindle the anger.  I must not let it build and gain power.

It is vital that anger not get a long lease in our lives.  It is more dangerous than we consider.  If I am to follow Christ well, I must keep short accounts and a zero-sum balance with anger.  Though justifiable and even at times appropriate, it is a dangerous and living fire.  It must be always tended and rarely fueled. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Accountability

Greetings Dear Reader,

Along the way we gather bad habits and recognize places where we do not put forth our better selves.  We struggle in our efforts to be good and kind.  We have areas of our lives where we are not as loving.  The things that make us selfish and unkind get footing, voice, and power.

It is in accountability to others that we can find the strength to do as we should.  We wish that the world were as simple as setting a goal or making a commitment and following through.  It would be grand.  We just need to look at the list of failed marriages, abandoned diets, and unused gym memberships to know that it is not that way.    

In attempting to reach a zero balance in some areas, one must accept a level of accountability.  We need to account to someone in our areas of weakness.  I do not mean a rule of law over our personal lives.  What I am thinking of is our need to have someone or a group of persons that will ask us about the areas we are trying to improve.

One of the reasons we are to travel together is that we need to hold each other accountable.  We need to ask and be asked the hard questions.  We need to do so in love and in a spirit of encouragement.  Too often we “get away with it”, whatever, “it” is because we are not accountable.

If we are to achieve a zero sum on our responsibilities then we need accountability.  We need to be accountable to family and friends in a safe and healthy way.  It is a vital part of the journey that is intended to strengthen us.  When we avoid accountability for our faith and following we are indeed in great danger.  Our pride and wants will blind us to the creeping control of our lesser seleves.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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The Zen of 0 ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

First, I am not about to launch into mysticism or maths.  Rather, I am going to try and find a balance between expectations and accountability.  It was pointed out to me that there are some areas where I am not managing this well and I know that failure to do so harms those around me.

We need accountability.  When someone that loves me has the courage to hold me to account I need to listen.  When they take the risk, I need to realize that my flaws poke out in places I do not always see.  The truth of this may be one of the best ways to create stability for those around me.

I also need to manage my expectations when it comes to accountability for others.  I know that at times I am demanding.  Sometimes that is not good.  Sometimes it is vital.  What I need to manage is when it is harmful.

I am going to spend a few days pondering the peace that lies in finding the zero balance in this.  Managed properly accountability and expectations can live in balance but it must begin with me.  I must see to my own sin before I engage with the sin of others. 

Please walk with me a bit further as I try to be a better man.  Your company and conversation are always precious to me Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

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