But versus So ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I suppose that I could track this contrast for every social issue or interpersonal situation conceivable.  The point is to transform how we think about our interaction with others.  The idea is to reorder our thinking so that the foundation is love.

“I love you but” statements need to leave our lives.  I know that I want them out of mine.  There is no place to see love as something to mitigate over circumstance or situation.  My love for the Father and for others must be the foundation of all that I do.  It must never be the lead in to me saying something unkind or hurtful.

Instead, I plan to work at thinking or saying, “I love you so” before any interaction.  If I can perfect mental muscle memory that leads with love then it will become more natural as it should.  Talking to people in this way allows me to remove my selfishness and preferences to replace them with love, kindness, grace, and compassion.

If we all were to focus on this one thing, we could surely make a difference in the world.  Perhaps we could evidence Christ more richly in our lives.  Perhaps the social issues that plague us would find natural resolution.  Perhaps, Dear Reader the joy in our journey could be more easily found.  I love you so I hope that if my directness has caused you concern, you understand that I seek Christ in the framework that he gave us rather than the one we have created to replace it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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But versus So ~ Here-say with No Evidence

Greetings Dear Reader,

“I love you but I am going to say terrible things about you to others.”  I believe that we have far too small an understanding of the power of our words.  We put things out there that are eternal.  We say things that are not our portion to say and then are surprised when we cannot call them back.  We can apologize, say we did not mean it, or even reverse our story, but the story has been told and the damage done.

There are people angry at me whom I have never met because of what someone else has said.  I think that the word “gossip” is not powerful enough for what I am getting at here.  I hear people casually say negative things about other people without any thought for how it would make that person feel.  Worse, it is done without the filter of our love for Christ and the person about whom we speak.

We can destroy relationships, careers, and even lives with our words.  We can intervene with “good intentions” or by suggesting prayer when what we are really doing is passing along a lurid tale. We deliver judgment upon others without ever speaking to him or her.  We carry our judgment and the story to others and damage them without their knowledge.  We sometimes even revel in the attention we get as we tell the story.

It is my obligation not to listen to negative speech about others.  Even if the person is right there, I must not allow others to malign because it is not an evidence of the love of Christ.  The attitude must be “I love you so, I will not believe or listen to negative things about you until I hear it from you.”  Imagine Dear Reader, how easy it would be to be honest about our faults if we knew we could talk to others without fear of being talked about in our absence.  The Father is not receiving love from us when we malign his children.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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But versus So ~ The Lives of Others

Greetings Dear Reader,

“I love you but I am going to kill you.”  Read that again.  Where is the love in taking a life?  Whether it is an enemy or an infant, we see no love in ending a life.  We do it though.  We justify it.  We make it socially acceptable.  We talk about safety and rights.

As Christ-followers every action is supposed to be an expression of the Father’s love, our love for the Father, and our love for each other.  Please then help me understand, without muddying the waters, how aborting an unborn child is an expression of that love?  I seem to never be able to get a direct answer to this.  The discussion is always diverted to rights, choice, or what might happen.

If we are following Christ in every moment, we give up our personal rights for what is RIGHT.  We base all our choices on Christ and his love.  We are not to worry about the future.  I am not going to pass judgment on anyone who chooses to defy this.  That too is not my loving obligation.  I am going to ask this hard question.  I am going to refuse to argue about all of the peripheral issues. 

I realize that we have made circumstances where woman feel like they have no choice but to abort a child.  I understand that there is societal pressure.  I realize that the value of life in our culture is not what it should be.  I am going back to the formula I stated at the beginning of this series.

Can we, in good conscience, with integrity say, “I love you so, I am going to kill you”?  Until we can say that with integrity perhaps, we should err on the side of life.  Like any other issue, I am obligated to love you no matter what you choose.  I am not interested in the justifications and arguments until I understand how murder is an act of love.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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But versus So ~ Equal Treatment

Greetings Dear Reader,

This is not a discussion of race or oppression.  It is me thinking about a fissure in the love we show others.  First, let us begin with the obvious.  Think through this statement: “I love you but you are gay so you cannot get the same insurance, housing, or treatment as I do.”  As a Christ-follower does that ring of love?

Let me put this in perspective.  Put any other word in place of the word “gay”.  If I say “liberal” or “conservative”, I can polarize half of the people reading this.  If you are a Christ-follower and you relegate the needs of anyone as second based on a moral issue, you are flying directly in the face of how Jesus treated others.  There is no gray area here.  Jesus made it clear that only those without sins can throw stones whether they be physical or social.

It is no wonder that some people think that we hate them because we disagree with their lifestyle.  If we are not actively showing love by treating them with kindness and respect, we are showing judgment and hate.  There is no gray here either.  The speech and action have to be, “I love you, so your human needs matter to me no matter what I think about your life.”  We never see Jesus refusing to care for someone because they were not what the Law dictated. 

There is no “love your neighbor UNLESS.”   We need to quit pretending that our passive ignorance is enough.  Our love must be active and obvious to everyone.  I do not have to agree with you to love you.  I do not have the right to judge your life.  I only have the obligation to love you no matter what your need is. 

This is not something to argue about Dear Reader.  If I am wrong, I will err on the side of love every time.  I must love every human no matter what I think of his or her choices.  In fact, what I think every moral issue is a topic for me to discuss with the Father so that I learn to love more deeply.  If I am asked, I may tell you what I think, but only after you are sure that I love you and everyone else. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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But versus So ~ Did You See the Doctor?

Greetings Dear Reader,

Let us begin with how obvious this should be to each of us.  Please tell me who you would look in the eye and say, “I love you but you do not deserve medical care for you or your children.”  If you have any love in your heart, saying this seems heinous and reproachful to you. 

I cannot imagine Jesus saying that you must meet certain social, political, or religious criteria to allow someone to get what they needed to care for the health of a child.  I do not see any way justify making medicine and care unaffordable for most of the population.  I am further mystified as to why the church is not at the center of finding ways of doing this for everyone.

You see Dear Reader, it sounds much more Christ-like to say, “I love you so I want you to get the healthcare you need.”  It sounds far more faithful to love beyond the idea of pharmacies and socialized medicine.  Oh, and let us think about that.  We should be so committed to caring for the needs of everyone that the idea of having to socialize healthcare seems foolish. 

I do not know what the answer is but I do know that the silence of those who follow Christ is a failure to express love properly.  We must be loud and loving in our demand that everyone with a medical need get that need met.  We cannot claim to love Christ and allow a mother to choose between food and medicine for her child.  It is just not the position that Christ wants us to defend.  Dear Reader, I love you so I want you to see that we are the ones who must stand and demand that our leaders find a way to provide care not out of right of merit.  We must demand it for the sake of showing Christ’s love.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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But versus So ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I was in a deep conversation with a friend about the nature of love and how we show it to others.  He was concerned about the line between practical rules and showing love to under his care.  As we were talking, I realized that as Christ-followers we have a serious gap in how we demonstrate love to others.

We all know that communication is key to our relationships.  We also understand that our internal dialogue impacts our ability to show love to others.  If then, we wish to show love to others as a way of following Christ, there is a contrast we must employ in our inner-thinking and our outward communication.  Keep in mind that we are thinking through this together Dear Reader.

The crux of it is our use of words around love.  We all know that whatever comes after “I love you but…”, is rarely good.  When we use this combination of words, we are usually trying to make ourselves comfortable with whatever unkind thing we are about to say.  It is not the right way to represent our love or Christ’s love to others.

The other side of this coin, the one that puts the onus on me for how I approach things is still a turn of the phrase.  If we say “I love you so…”, we are leading with love.  If our motivation is to show the love of Christ then what follows this phrase can be edited by that.  What I want to do is look at some serious issues and how we approach them. 

I want to look at some of the things that divide us and see if we can drop the rhetoric and focus only on how the love of Christ is employed by our approach.  We can no longer afford to relegate those who do not fit our image of “I love you but” to the sidelines whilst we pursue an image of Christianity that is more idolatry than Christ. 

Please walk with me Dear Reader through some very rough terrain.  My only goal is to strengthen my ability love to the Father and my fellow travelers in truth.  I love you so, I value your company.  I love you so, your thoughts and questions matter to me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Whatever! ~ Think (closing thoughts)

Greetings Dear Reader,

At the core of all that we need to do is thinking.  We do not think as much as we need to think.  Let us consider the text I have been writing about this week.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

When we are angry or anxious, we can choose to think about what is right and true instead of rehearsing what was said or what I want to say.  When I am sad, I can ponder the noble and the lovely things there are.  If I focus on the admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy my mind is much less likely to be captivated by things that are unhealthy.

At the core of this, all is pondering how to love others more deeply.  It is learning to love the Father with all that we are and that begins in the mind.  What we think is what we become.  This is not easy.  We have to hold hostage every thought until it bends to our will.  We have to think intentionally about that which is good and purposefully quell the thoughts that harm us.  

The thought is to discipline our minds to think well.  It is to let every thought focus on things that are good and so mitigate the things that are not good.  If we train our thoughts to do this, our actions are bound to become better.  Fear and anger lose purchase.  Bitterness and greed have no solid ground in which to grow.  It is thinking about these things that shapes our ability to show love to others.

The journey is long Dear Reader.  We have to carry things but we choose the way in which we will carry them.  We choose the attitudes we will embrace and how we will treat others in light of what they do.  Nothing replaces good thinking for a foundation that is firm and dependable.  I would treasure your thoughts on these thoughts Dear Reader as we turn the bend toward that next horizon.  Your company is something about which I think of in the most positive of ways.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Whatever! ~ Tightrope Living

Greetings Dear Reader,

The last item in this list of things upon which we are to think often baffles me.  It requires us to walk a tightrope and I am out of balance, to begin with.  If, however, I am required to think about something that challenges my stability then I had best do so and do it well.

The whatever for today is to think about things that are praiseworthy.  We must do so, though, without doing things to seek praise.  We are to humbly do things that others will praise without doing them for the purpose of being praised.  Our lives are to be a symphony of loving noble deeds composed to point the praise at someone else. 

The tightrope we must walk is between praiseworthy deeds and a humble life.  The balance must be between feeling good about what we do and accomplish and remaining small in our own eyes compared to the One we follow.

Our deeds must cause us to stand tall but we must do so with bowed heads and contrite hearts.  Our thoughts must see what we do with pride and humility all at once.  They must not be opposites but two sides of the same coin.  They must be two strands in the strong cord where the third is our love for others.  

It is only through love that I can do praiseworthy deeds and not seek to be praised.  It is love that can fuel my humility.  It is love for others that makes me wish to do things that will stir praise in them.  It is love that will provide the humility to direct that praise to God and allow me to step back into the shadows.

We must do things that others admire and praise Dear Reader.  We must do them quietly, humbly, and lovingly so that we disappear and Christ is seen clearly.  It takes the balance of a cat to walk this tightrope, this narrow path in every moment.  We must then fade like the Cheshire cat leaving only a smile of contentment knowing that we have done well even with the laurels of doing well.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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Whatever! ~ Bill and Ted

Greetings Dear Reader,

In 1989 we watched as two stoner teenagers went on a quest through time to build their high school history report.  Most of it was farcical but we still laughed at Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  It resulted in the word “excellent” becoming a single word catchphrase for quite some time. 

Seven years earlier, many of us read the book In Search of Excellence which taught lessons from American companies about being great.  The idea was to become excellent in customer service and getting the job done.  It informed much of my thinking as an educator and project manager.

I wonder often if we have lost the idea of excellence in what we do?  Do we think about things that are excellent?  Instead, do we settle for the mundane and the mediocre?  Perhaps we no longer understand what excellence is.  When we think, perhaps we need to search for excellence in our thinking.

Often in the early morning or late evening, I find myself thinking about things that I cannot change or having arguments in my head that are a waste of time and brain power.  They are not excellent thoughts.  I often literally shake my head to clear it and focus on prayer for a minute to chase the thoughts away.

I focus on things that are excellent to think about such as the Father’s love for me and positive things I can do about whatever thought was distracting me from good thoughts.  I also consider that I must search for excellence.  I must see what is good and focus on that.  I must acknowledge the bad, the less than excellent, and the mundane but then move on to the excellent.

I am required to think on good things leading to excellent thinking.  I must do so out of love.  I must think well.  Excellent thought can lead to excellent action if I let it.  Excellent action is a way to show love.  It is how we manifest the love we are to cultivate for each other.

If I hold on to anger, resentment, past hurts, or selfishness, I am not thinking or being excellent.  I work at thinking well because, as Thomas Traherne said, “To think well is to serve God in the interior court.”  If I meditate on the things that are excellent, I can more easily treat you with excellence Dear Reader.  As Bill and Ted concluded, we must “Be excellent to each other.” 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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Whatever! ~ Admirable

Greetings Dear Reader,

Who do you admire?  It may take some thought or someone may come to mind instantly.  The problem is that eventually, those we admire do not live up to our expectations.  We admire people and they let us down even if they do not mean to do so.

Everyone, even the best of us fails. It is not people we are supposed to admire.  It is deeds that are what we should look up to and admire.  Yes, we associate people with those deeds.  We ought to honor people when they do admirable things.  We get in danger of disillusionment, however, when we set expectations relative to people.

It is possible that we ponder admirable people more than we ponder admirable deeds.  We want to be like him or her rather than wanting to be like that.  It is good to take our example from people who do admirable things.  It is vital that we emulate the deeds from our hearts instead of putting someone on a pedestal.  We do people a disservice when we raise them up.  They cannot sustain it.  We cannot long hold them there.  It is not where we are supposed to stand.

When we ponder admirable deeds, however, we can find many sources from which to choose.  We can look across a spectrum of others who set the example of admirable deeds, thought, and words.  You will find that there are many ways to do that which is admirable.

The motivation for something admirable must though come from the right source.  The motivation must come from our love.  It is the required foundation of the things that led to admirable deeds.  If love is not the foundation of our actions then the admirable deed may benefit others but we are not being admirable.  We are going to fail and perhaps taint that which is admirable if we do not act out of love for others.

My great failures all began with the desire to show love to others.  I was speaking with someone who knows me well about this.  I mentioned that what I wish in every encounter is for others to see the love Christ has for him or her.  Without hesitation, she said, “You always start that way.”  The love and kindness in her voice was reassuring and helped me see more clearly.

She meant it and I do.  The problem comes when I allow the admiration to become what I wish instead of the person seeing the love of Christ.  I transfer the attention from the deed to me.  This is where my failure begins.  This is where I stop thinking on the admirable and lose sight of the foundation of love. 

I have had several encounters of late where I get to show the love of Christ to others without attention being drawn to me.  Being able to walk away before I am too involved and dependent upon admiration is very freeing.  It helps me understand one of the reasons why it is admirable to do good deeds in secret. 

What things do you admire Dear Reader?  How do you go about doing good things and what is your motivation for doing it?  If we agree that our love is the foundation for our thoughts and deeds then perhaps, we can learn to ponder the admirable and act on it without calling attention to ourselves.

We should discuss this further as we journey along.  I want to hear what inspires admiration in you and how you think on admirable things.  Perhaps you can help me refine the ways I can keep myself out of the mix.  Please share your thoughts with me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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Whatever! ~ Lovely

Greetings Dear Reader,

We again come to a word that needs a clear and complete definition.  It requires us to see beyond the common use of the word to its lofty meaning.  We abuse this word in the way we use its root, love, for too many things to really grasp what it means.  Here is a bountiful definition as the foundation for our thinking.

Lovely:  exquisitely beautiful.  "lovely views"  synonyms: beautiful, pretty, as pretty as a picture, attractive, good-looking, appealing, handsome, adorable, exquisite, sweet, personable, charming; enchanting, engaging, bewitching, winsome, seductive, gorgeous, alluring, ravishing, glamorous; bonny; informal: tasty, knockout, stunning, drop-dead gorgeous, adorbs; fit, smashing; cute, foxy; formal: beauteous; archaic: comely, fair; rare: pulchritudinous, scenic, picturesque, pleasing, easy on the eye;

magnificent, stunning, splendid, “there's a lovely view across the town"

The idea of pondering lovely things can take up many guises.  It could be a song, a work of art, or a scenic view.  It could be an act of kindness, a noble gesture, or a vital truth.  Pure mountain air, a rushing river, or a salmon-colored dawn can be lovely.  There is beauty in the world to be observed and dwelt upon.  We need to spend time doing so.

It is no accident that love is at the root of things being lovely.  We need to love things that are exquisitely beautiful.  It is the love of beauty that is genuine from a pure heart that deserves our attention.  We do not spend enough time thinking about the beautiful things of the world. 

I am not speaking of what media and social standards call lovely.  I am pondering loveliness that transcends the temporal and passing.  I had the opportunity yesterday to tell a friend how lovely she is.  It is not simply because of physical beauty.  It is because of her spirit, the way she carries herself, and her heart toward others exude a loveliness that goes far beyond her physical beauty. 

When our spirits are lovely because we follow Jesus and his example to love others, we become lovely as well.  We assign lovely to the things that are passing and forget that there is a deeper loveliness that transcends time.  It is made up of every moment where we find love and give it freely in that moment.  It is composed of the notes of love in each grain of time that join to form a symphony of loveliness.  When we do this in concert, we create loveliness that joins the loveliness of others to build the beauty and grace of our universe, the one song. 

Thinking on things that are purely lovely will cause us to see real loveliness more readily.  It will build our appreciation and value of what is truly lovely.  It will cause things that are pretending to be lovely to fade as the blinding light of pure loveliness envelops us in understanding the real love that is at its heart.

Ponder what is lovely with me Dear Reader.  We can point out that which represents it to each other as we journey together.  I want to see those things that you see as lovely and learn to see the loveliness in you more clearly.  In this is found the loveliness that is in Christ.  There is nothing more lovely to me than this.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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