25 October 2010

Blood Stains

Greetings Dear Reader,

Yesterday at church I heard a song for the first time. A single line captivated me and has held me for an entire day now. I try so hard to do things on my own. I think that I have to carry things alone. I know that I cannot do this but I still foolishly try. I know I have passed this malady on to my Sons and I know that it costs us all the comfort offered in a closer walk with Christ.

Hurt, fear, and failure combined with past betrayals allow us to isolate ourselves from the community that can help us overcome and heal. Our pride pushes us so hard not to be weak and vulnerable. My false sense of self wants me to seem fine when in truth I need the company and counsel of others. All our attempts to appear clean and together are the bonds and bands that imprison us. The very thought that we are OK is a lie.

Culture and custom dictate that men are to carry the water. Patriarchal practice teaches us to keep things to ourselves and hide our pressures and pain from the world because that is not manly. It is only by admitting that our weaknesses are what make us alike. Our failures in the face of God’s righteousness are what make us common and commonly in need if God’s love and grace.

Instead of embracing this we turn to things that numb, placate, and make us feel temporarily in control. Nothing is further from the truth than that we can handle things on our own. No lie is greater than the one that tells us we can get clean or get our act together independent of Christ and each other. It is “by his stripes we are healed.” It is only through the embrace of his grace that we can find forgiveness and eventually forgive ourselves.

No one can make it alone. We know this so we turn to things that do not fulfill to keep from facing our moment by moment need for Christ to sustain us. We embrace food, drink, sex, drugs, video games, and so many other things to fill up our time so that Christ’s constant plea for us to follow him is drowned out.

It is in the silence and solitude that the heartbeat of Christ gets through and begs us to march to its ever calling march. Only when we take up the cross and accept the Via Delarosa as our path can we feel the freedom that this path ensures. It is not a martyr’s call but that of an obedient servant. It is not an act of self-sacrifice but the steps in a journey of hope.

We want to get out of our prison of pain without getting our hands dirty. We want to clean up the mess we have made before someone sees it. That too is impossible. So many already see it and wonder when we will open our eyes.

“You gotta let His blood stain you if you want to get free.” – Waterdeep

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."

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