Past Pain and Present Anger

Greetings Dear Reader,

Someone asked me recently how to get to the place where he can forgive himself. It seems too often that the failure to forgive wholly and without condition. When I do this I know it turns to seeds of pain and anger. These seeds grow into impatience and irritability at the least convenient times. The surliness and impatience they prosper are the furthest thing from my following Christ.

There is nothing that can be done by anyone to change the past. I cannot undo my failures whether they are yesterdays or two decades ago. If I fail to forgive others and myself, those failures retain great power over me. When I find myself dwelling on failures and hurts from the past I am only feeding that which keeps me from moving forward.

I know people who must talk about the entire history of their past harm in every conversation. So much energy and productivity is lost when the past controls our present. How can you hope that screaming at someone about the sins of past will lead to peace in your future? It becomes clearer to me as I purge the things that are past poisons how much they were the substance of the chains that bind and limit me in following Christ.

There is nothing I can do to change what I have done, but I am in complete control of what I choose to do next. It is up to me to be all that I am supposed to be in Christ. It is up to me to ignore the voices that want to turn me inward and force me to dwell on what I do not have or what I have not done. Every moment spent in that place robs me of a moment to spend seeking grace.

There is no measure to the love and grace that Christ can work out through me if I refuse to be chained by unforgiveness. I owe forgiveness to everyone for the forgiveness I have already received. I owe grace and kindness to all men, especially those closest to me for the grace and kindness I need. Nothing works without it. It is a simple, moment-by-moment choice. It is a complete adoption of living in the forgiveness that is mine so that I may pass it on to others. It is choosing to journey as this as part of our path.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."