Cycles: Breaking or Becoming Them

Greetings Dear Reader,

As I find myself feeling some old feelings I wonder how I am going to avoid repeating things that are unhealthy for me.  I know that my focus has sharpened on responding to things properly.  This does not mean that my fallen voice does not whisper, shout, and even scream that I should  just follow the old tried and failed pattern. 

I cannot help but feel at some moments that I face these feelings alone.  It haunts me in the wee hours of morning or when I am taking my lunch alone at midday.  My mind knows that but I look back on the cycles I was determined to break and how miserably I failed a breaking it.  I spoke with a friend about this and they pointed out something about it that I had not considered as much as I should.

My friend pointed out that I had broken some of the cycles.  My children know me much better than my own father knew me.  I don’t discard people like tissue paper.  I make my living honestly.  I love Christ and hope to follow him.  Sometimes breaking a cycle is not repeating patterns to the extreme that it was modeled to me.  I still find myself wishing I had done better.

I see a part of the cycle trying to unfold before me and I think that this time I will choose not to become it.  Now I just need to figure out how to avoid the shrapnel in the maelstrom.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."