Home to House – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Today I will be walking out of the house for that last time.  There are few things left to move.  There are a few things left to donate and some cleaning to do.  There will be the locking of doors and leaving behind of a place that used to be home.

I am singularly reminded that none of this is my home.  I am a wayfaring traveler on a journey home.  The road is long and it is easy to get bogged down in temporary things.  The problem is that we do not define temporary broadly enough.  Every THING I have is temporary.  Eventually it will all be rubbish on some level.

So I close a chapter.  I face the unknown frontier.  I do so with the light of Christ.  I do so with him as my only hope.  That will be enough.  I will dive deep for a bit into the things which are vital to being a faithful follower. 

I realize that some of you Dear Reader have been troubled by my raw pain and grief.  It is where I am.  It is what I am processing.  It is not permanent nor is it beyond the pale.  My faith is firm.  My heart is hurting.   The road calls and I must go on; ever on. 

The Things We Leave Behind – Michael Card

There sits Simon, so foolishly wise

Proudly he's tending his nets

Then Jesus calls and the boats drift away

And all that he owns he forgets

But more than the nets, he abandoned that day

He found that his pride was soon drifting away

And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Matthew was mindful of taking the tax

And pressing the people to pay

Hearing the call, he responded in faith

And followed the light and the way

And leaving the people so puzzled he found

The greed in his heart was no longer around and

And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Every heart needs to be set free

From possessions that hold it so tight

'Cause freedom's not found in the things that we own

It's the power to do what is right

With Jesus, our only possession

And giving becomes our delight

And we can't imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

We show a love for the world in our lives

By worshiping goods we possess

Jesus has laid all our treasures aside

And love God above all the rest

'Cause when we say no, to the things of the world

We open our hearts to the love of the Lord and

It's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

And when we say no, to the things of the world

We open our hearts to the love of the Lord and

It's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Oh, and it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Not a Home

Greetings Dear Reader,

Today the furniture arrives.  Today I say goodbye to the house that has been my home.   I am weary from the lifting, carrying, and placing.  I am beginning to shape the layout of my new abode. 

My definition of home has always been the people not the place.   My new abode will be only me.  It will not be a home.  People have tried to tell me that I can make it one but that is not how I work.  It is the sharing of the space with those I love that makes it work for me.

The hard deck is sound.  I will find solace in Christ and cherish the moments that other choose to share with me.  At the end of the day, however, I will lay down alone.  I cannot understand why God has chosen this for my journey but I trust him.  I do not like it but I will walk what I must.

I have all that I need in terms of provision and supply.  In some ways I have too much.  A project will be to reduce.  Possessions are not my friends or family.  I do not know how long I will be in this place but my hope is to leave with less. 

For now I must steel myself for the long dark; the evenings of coming back to an empty place.  No matter the revels or events the end is the same.  I will not use others to avoid this Moria but the goblins and Balrog within will lurk in the shadows nightly. 

I will follow the light and limit the darkness.  I will follow in faith that I am not alone in my solitude.  I would never willingly choose this but it is here.  I will do my best to walk the path well through the long dark of this journey.   

Loose Ends – Dan Fogelberg

Climbing a mountain in darkness

Stranded alone on the ledge

Every attempt that I make to hold on

Pushes me nearer the edge

Sensing the changes impending

My thoughts are diffused by despair

I feel like I'm swimming straight up underwater

Desperately racing for air

I'm racing for air

And the chords struck at birth grow more distant

Yet, we strike them again and again

And we plead and we pray for a glimmer of day

As the night folds its wings and descends

Exposing the loose ends

Surrounding myself with possessions

I surely have more than I need

I don't know if this is justice hard earned

Or simply a matter of greed

A matter of greed

And the chords struck at birth grow more distant

Yet, we strike them again and again

And we plead and we pray for a glimmer of day

As the night folds its wings and descends

Exposing the loose ends

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Last Things – Part 2

Greetings Dear Reader,

Resurrection Oak 2007

A week of moments remains.  We are moving the last of our things this weekend.  Christmas will stay with me a bit longer then off to her new place.   I have a week of vacation approaching as well. 

As much as I dislike this transition I would be remiss in my attitude if I did not recall some of the good times spent in the house that was my home.  I will miss the sweet well water.  It was something that I never took for granted. 

The resurrection oak will also be something I miss.  It was thought to be diseased and was cut down our first autumn in the house.  That first spring it shot out new limbs from the stump.  It is now over twelve feet tall and beautiful. 

There were some wonderful Christmas parties there.  I was able to host many friends and celebrate them.  I do not know if my new place will accommodate this event.  We shall have to see.

Even in the loss of home I find memories that I will treasure.   It will be a place where I found more of Christ to follow.  It will be the place I lived when I made great turn in that journey.  That will become past and, therefore, prologue.  The way lies onward and there I must go.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Empty Hallways

Greetings Dear Reader,

The house that once was a home feels almost empty.  So friends helped us get more things moved last evening.  I think I have had my last meal there.  The reality of it clings to me like Marley’s money boxes. 

The new place is still quite unsettled and I have to get things moved to make space for the furniture on Saturday.  After that the settling of the new place begins in earnest.  I am thankful for the friends who gave up an evening to help me.  It not only a blessing but reminded me of the way in which God cares for us.

I need to move in faith that God will care for me.  “Will it see me safe through my journey or leave me bogged in the mire? “  This fitful fire fueling the crucible in which I find myself fosters fear.   It puts me in the place where I must follow in faith with no knowledge.   It is interesting that the key verse of my morning reading reminded me that the just must live by faith.

Faith is the place from which hope must spring.  My faith is solid but the drum of my fears keeps tempo.  I wonder if I am up to the challenge.  I know that I must be for the sake of the journey.  It is how I will find my way.  Right now, however, the empty hallways begin to echo like a dirge. 

Heart Hotels – Dan Fogelberg

Well there's too many windows

in this old hotel

And rooms filled with reckless pride

And the walls have grown sturdy

And the halls have worn well

But there is nobody living inside

Nobody living inside...

Gonna pull in the shutters

On this heart of mine

Roll up the carpets and pull

in the blinds

And retreat to the chambers that

I left behind

In hopes there still may be

Love left to find

Still may be love left to find.

Seek inspiration in daily affairs

Now your soul is in trouble

and requires repairs

And the voices you hear at the

top of the stairs

Are only echoes of unanswered prayers;

Echoes of unanswered prayers.

Well there's too many windows

in this old hotel

And rooms filled with reckless pride

And the walls have grown sturdy

And the halls have worn well

But there is nobody living inside

Nobody living inside...

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Broken Windows

Greetings Dear Reader,

I am trying so hard to keep out the pain and loss.  It is not working.  I cannot close off the windows that let me see out but protect me from the feelings as they are broken instead of open.  Part one of the last big push is today.

I am weary both physically and emotionally.  Although I am determined to do this in faith I am completely exhausted from battling the situation.  I find no peace in my pain.  I find no solace even in the sure knowledge that God knows what he is doing even when I do not.

There is no experience in my history of solitude working well for me.  That does not mean it cannot.  It does mean that I move on without the hope that experience would provide.  I can tell I am getting thread bare when I try to organize things.  This is the hardest trial of my willingness to walk in faith I have had in some time.

I will not run after things that glitter or offer false hope.  I will seek Christ and allow him to carry me when necessary.  My pain and fear must not rule any of my responses.  My faith must rule them all.

Learn to be Still – The Eagles

It's just another day in paradise

As you stumble to your bed

You'd give anything to silence

Those voices ringing in your head

You thought you could find happiness

Just over that green hill

You thought you would be satisfied

But you never will-

Learn to be still

We are like sheep without a shepherd

We don't know how to be alone

So we wander 'round this desert

And wind up following the wrong gods home

But the flock cries out for another

And they keep answering that bell

And one more starry-eyed messiah

Meets a violent farewell-

Learn to be still

Learn to be still

Now the flowers in your garden

They don't smell so sweet

Maybe you've forgotten

The heaven lying at your feet

There are so many contradictions

In all these messages we send

(We keep asking)

How do I get out of here?

Where do I fit in?

Though the world is torn and shaken

Even if your heart is breakin'

It's waiting for you to awaken

And someday you will-

Learn to be still

Learn to be still

You just keep on runnin'

Keep on runnin'

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Lost in Crowds

Greetings Dear Reader,

I attempt to be the same person in every venue.  I do not want the working world to see one person and the social world to see another.  I want to be genuine.  I also need to be respectful of those around me and not impose my difficulties on them.

Because I wish to be both honest and considerate I find that I am stymied at times.  I do not desire to burden others with how I feel at times.  I also do not wish to engage in the perfunctory “how are you” exchange that is the common American greeting. 

Due to this I often find that I do not engage in genuine talk about how I am at all.  Again there is a hard deck here.  On the universal scale I am just fine as frog’s hair.   God has promised this and that is enough for me.  In the current events, however, I am not fine. 

So the harried part of my heart struggles with how to express itself.   I do not want to abuse the small time I have with those who share time with me.  I need to find an outlet for the things I feel but none of the old venues are working.  So I have to simply maintain until a path is found.

For now I must look to others and be what I am meant to be to them.  There is always solace in being good to others.  There is forgetting in being kind.  There is joy in the journey even when walking in the rain.  Then again if nothing changes it may still serve the greater good.  After all, HE must increase and I must decrease.

Lost in Crowds – Ian Anderson

I get lost in crowds: if I can, I remain invisible

to the hungry mouths. I stay unapproachable.

I wear the landscape of the urban chameleon.

Scarred by attention. And quietly addicted to innocence.

At starry parties where, amongst the rich and the famous

I’m stuck for words: or worse, I blather with the best of them.

I see their eyes glaze and they look for the drinks tray.

Something in the drift of my conversation bothers them.

So, who am I? Come on: ask me, I dare you.

So, who am I? Come on: question me, if you care to.

And why not try to interrogate this apparition?

I melt away to get lost in this quaint condition.

In scary airports, in concourses over-filled,

I am detached in serious observation.

As a passenger, I become un-tethered when

I get lost in clouds: at home with my own quiet company.

Herald Tribune or USA Today. Sauvignon Blanc or oaky Chardonnay.

Asleep for the movie. Awake for the dawn

Dancing on England and hedgerows

Embossed on a carpet of green. I descend and

Forgive me I mean to get lost in crowds.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Solitude Unaware

Greetings Dear Reader,

At some point yesterday during my lifting and carrying I injured my already damaged shoulder.  A slip and fall on ice several winters ago has left the shoulder damaged and I pulled or pushed too hard and it is making its presence known in a very unfriendly manner.

Self & Solitude by Nathan Wirth 

When it first happened I thought that I should call one of the children and let him or her know.  It struck me like a thunderbolt that all three of them were not in town.  They are not even in Wisconsin.  The depth of my solitude enveloped me like a shroud. 

At the crux of my sorrow over this change is being alone.  I do not do well with solitude.  Since Avalon left I have not had good results even with a few days on my own.  I am working to assure that I do not do anything improper in my dealing with my fear.  I also am finding moments where the feelings overwhelm me. 

I know that my security must be found in Christ.  In most areas I can do this.   In this thing I am weak and fearful.  I am sure I will become “better” at it but I have little hope that I will get over it.  I will not violate the hard deck of my hope and faith.  I will also not fool myself into believing that there is not some great difficulty in the near future.

I find few who get how broken this part of me is.  It is at the center of my waking fear and my deepest nightmares.  As with all things this broken part of me must be entrusted to Christ.  I will do this but today I feel very little hope and most of my energy is going to fighting the fear. 

Broken – Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain (in the pain), is there healing

In your name (in your name) I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day

Just to see what you throw my way

And I'm hanging on to the words you say

You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain(In the pain) there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – The Final Push

Greetings Dear Reader,

Charter is revealed in so many things.  How do we handle ourselves when no one is watching or when we think we will not be found out?  How do we behave when we are hurt, angry, or broken hearted?  What is the attitude that we carry in our hearts?

I already know that the week will be trying.  Both the social and physical aspects of completing the move will be challenging.  The days for rest with my Son helped.  Other things have made it more difficult.  My friend Val observed that I seem very sad. 

I supposed that I am sad.  There is also the joy of anticipating how Christ will lead me in these new surroundings.  I admit that I hold little hope for liking it.  I have a hard deck where hope is concerned.  I refuse to lose my hope in Christ.  My hope for other things, however, is quite thin. 

My fallen nature wants me to believe this is some kind of comeuppance for the failures of my earlier life.  I realize that this is not how God deals with us but sometimes the taunting voice is quite loud.  I want to see this pain and separation as an opportunity.   I have no life experience on which to base that hope so it is hollow and unformed.

As I go back to the chore of turning home to house today I do so with a heavier heart than expected.  New sorrows have found companionship with the original ones and try to turn my efforts to lead.  In this time I will do as I must but I am struggling to find joy in the journey.

One Whit Duck  – Jethro Tull

There's a haze on the skyline, to wish me on my way.

And there's a note on the telephone --- some roses on a tray.

And the motorway's stretching right out to us all,

As I pull on my old wings --- one white duck on your wall.

Isn't it just too damn real?

One white duck on your wall, one duck on your wall

I'll catch a ride on your violin --- strung upon your bow.

And I'll float on your melody --- sing your chorus soft and low.

There's a picture-view postcard to say that I called.

You can see from the fireplace, one white duck on your wall.

Isn't it just too damn real?

One white duck on your wall, one duck on your wall

So fly away Peter and fly away Paul --- from the

Finger-tip ledge of contentment.

The long restless rustle of high-heeled boots calls.

And I'm probably bound to deceive you after all.

Something must be wrong with me and my brain ---

If I'm so patently unrewarding.

But my dreams are for dreaming and best left that Way ---

And my zero to your power of ten equals nothing at all.

There's no double-lock defense; there's no chain on my door.

I'm available for consultation,

But remember your way in is also my way out,

And Love’s four-letter word is no compensation.

Well, I'm the Black Ace dog-handler: I'm a waiter on skates ---

So don't you jump to your foreskin conclusion.

Because I'm up to my deaf ears in cold breakfast trays ---

To be cleared before I can dine on your sweet Sunday lunch confusion.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – A Pause to Rest

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have a three day respite from my task of turning my home back into a house.  Some friends are getting married at each other and I am going to journey north for the event.  I I will be traveling with my eldest Son and my Grandsons.  I truly look forward to the adventure. 

I finally slept last night and longer than usual.  I am beginning to remember the balance between activity and rest.   A rest at the proper moment is what makes the music work.  Amidst the emotional upheaval of this change I do not always choose the right playlist in my mind.

Keeping the playlist in my head straight helps me keep other things straight.  Keeping other things straight is what makes my life effective for Christ.  I must only follow the tune that he calls.  When I am weary I do not always listen for it well. 

I also do not remember to pray before I speak, think, act, or feel.   I am not who I am meant to be without proper rest.  I am not who I am meant to be with too much rest.  I need to work harder but in the right ways. 

I need to pray every moment I can.  I need to order what is necessary to live the life I am called to live.  I need to turn this corner properly.  I must use this time of respite to refocus.  Please pray for me Dear Reader.

Make My Life a Prayer to You – Keith Green

You make my life a prayer to You

I wanna do what You want me to

No empty words and no white lies

No token prayers no compromise

I wanna shine the light You gave

Through Your Son You sent to save us

From ourselves and our despair

It comforts me to know You're really there

Well I wanna thank You now for being patient with me

Oh it's so hard to see, when my eyes are on me

I guess I'll have the trust and just believe what You say

Oh You're coming again, You're coming to take me away

I wanna die and let You give Your life to me, so I might live

And share the hope You gave to me, the love that set me free

I wanna tell the world out there, You're not some fable or fairy tale

That I've made up inside my head, You're God the Son

You've risen from the dead

Oh I wanna thank You now for being patient with me

Oh it's so hard to see, when my eyes are on me

I guess I'll have the trust and just believe what You say

Oh You're coming again, coming to take me away

I wanna die and let You give Your life to me, so I might live

And share the hope You gave to me

I wanna share the love that set me free

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Sleeping

Greetings Dear Reader,

So an adjustment that is not going well is sleeping.  The new bed is comfortable enough.  The place is quiet enough.  I am still waking up just a couple of hours after retiring to thoughts and concerns.

Last night I did not sleep at all.  I am tired but have a couple days at ease ahead of me.  I can feel the heat of this crucible increasing.   Things are starting to fall into place and a routine is evolving.   The routine of little sleep over the last five nights is not one I wish to establish.

Perhaps tonight I can build up enough tired to carry me through the sleeping hours. Either way, the heat rises, the refining begins, and I must cling to Christ as my only hope.   

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Arranging Things - Books

Greetings Dear Reader,

In the Discworld novels written by the late Terry Pratchett there is a librarian who is an Orangutan.   The theory is that libraries are the most powerful places in the multiverse because knowledge is power.

Much of my time when I was younger involved books.  I love diving into a good novel or reading through a well written commentary.  I value greatly the tomes that help me research and understand. 

I think that sometimes my books reproduce whilst I am not looking.  In the past fortnight I have, with help, moved seventy boxes of books.  I am attempting to arrange them.  With smaller space and the need to assure that what I need is at hand it is a task.

As I move each box to the place that will eventually host it contents I see a great deal that I wish to revisit.  I am also reminded of the many things these volumes have taught me.  I am thankful for the lessons learned and those yet to be learned.

I strive to be a man of the Book.  I strive to be that whilst not becoming too bookish.  I want knowledge but without pride.  I want wisdom with humility.   I need to dive back in to some of these silent speaking friends and remember the power they impart.

The Book around which I try to focus all my learning must remain center stage.  I must follow as closely as possible the things God expects of me.  I must reinvest my mind in the things that build it up.  I will do more than arrange.  I must rediscover.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Arranging Things - Kitchens

Greetings Dear Reader,

I love to cook.  I can easily prepare a feast for dozens.  The kitchen I leave behind was vast and roomy.  There were ample surfaces and it was easy to prep and execute meals. 

My new kitchen is not so roomy.  I am working to find a utilitarian space for everything.  Also cooking for one is not something I do well.  I find little joy in the effort to benefit ratio involved in cooking for one.  Eventually I will settle into something that resembles a healthy food routine.  For now I am just subsisting as I make the transition.

I find that I am reminded that I have so much more than I need.  Not having enough room for your food is a problem about which one should not complain.  Still the transition to solo meals and limited need for food in the house reminds me of the solo nature of my future.

I spend a great deal of time trying to remember to think of others first.  As this transition becomes a reality I realize that this challenge will be difficult.  I will have to move through it with a firmer grip on my faith.  I will need to assure that face the challenge and do not hid from it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Arranging Things - Technology

Greetings Dear Reader,

Any move requires that one arrange and redirect things.  I arranged my internet connection over a month ago.  I am transitioning providers and so needed to arrange equipment pickup at the former house.

The company explained that they would pick up the equipment but that they would not give a specific time.  I needed to take the day off to do some other things so this was not an issue.  I left a note on the door for the technician explaining that I was at home and that he should come in.

He arrived at 10:00 in the morning and collected the gear.  I went about my day knowing that this piece of the business was concluded.  I checked it off the list and moved on to the next task of the day.

Earlier this week I received a bill from this former provider as my final bill.  A letter accompanied it expressing how sorrowful they were to lose my business.  The bill included $560 in charges for un-returned equipment.   I will need to spend time this week setting the vendor on the right path.

The lesson is that even when we do everything correctly there will be issues.  No matter how good our intentions and actions there will be challenges.  It is the way of the world.  My responsibility is to respond properly.  

I must quell the visceral response to see all those who work for the provider as plague ridden vermin.  They are all humans whom God loves.  I must love them too.  Someone simply made an error.  I must then remember that when I deal with the people on the phone, no matter who difficult they are that they have to deal with jerks (even more people that God loves) all day long.

My perspective must be that this thing too is arranged.  I know I will not have to pay the extra funds.  I must not let my anger or fear control me.  I have an opportunity to be kind to a stranger in a difficult circumstance.  That is indeed what I am designed for and equipped to do.  He must increase and I must decrease.

Less of Me – Glen Campbell

Let me be a little kinder. Let me be a little blinder.

To the faults of those about me, let me praise a little more.

Let me be, when I am weary, just a little bit more cheery.

Think a little more of others and a little less of me.

Let me be a little braver when temptation bids me waver.

Let me strive a little harder to be all that I should be.

Let me be a little meeker with the brother that is weaker.

Let me think more of my neighbor and a little less of me.

Let me be, when I am weary, just a little bit more cheery.

Let me serve a little better those that I am striving for.

Let me be a little meeker with the brother that is weaker

Think a little more of others and a little less of me.

Think a little more of others and a little less of me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Last Things – Part 1

Greetings Dear Reader,

So many things about turning a home back into a house involve last things.  The month of overlap in the transition is both good and bad.  Today I am feeling some of the last things both connected and unconnected to this venture.

Last night was the last home game of the Mallards summer season.  They won 17-7.  It was a stormy steamy summer night filled with hot dogs, family, and fun.  The last home game is always one that saddens me a little.  Baseball has undercurrents that sustain me.  Those who can understand this get it.  Those who do not would not want to be schooled here.

I have slept under the oaks in my hammock for the last time.  I have smelled the local skunk’s morning constitutional for the last time.  The fire pit will no longer host warmth and friends for us. 

I must assure that in these last things that I do not forget the things that last.  I must assure that the things at matter do not get packed away or left behind.  I must find new ways to host my friends and create good times for them.  I must have care to be who I am called to be completely.  My must invest my life in things that last.

The Ballad of Serenity – Sony Rhodes

Take my love.

Take my land.

Take me where I cannot stand.

I don't care,

I'm still free.

You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black.

Tell em I ain't comin' back.

Burn the land

And boil the sea.

You can't take the sky from me.

There's no place I can't be

Since I found Serenity.

But you can't take the sky from me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Found Things

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the things that happens when one moves is that one finds things.  The things that one finds are odd.  There is a pen that I have missed for four years that I found under a moved shelf.  Some old games were discovered by my Son that we have not played in years.

I have found other things.  Some I thought I had discarded long ago.  Some of them I discarded right away.  Some things trigger memories that I cherish.  Some memories are not so pleasant. 

When we turn a home back into a house we discover things.  Some of them are not so good.  We discover things about ourselves as well.  We learn what we value.  We learn what is worth taking and what can be left.  This is an opportunity to leave things behind that are a burden to us.  It is a chance to make things lighter through the burden of moving.

I must assess my attachment to things.  I must discard things.  I must put things away.  I must leave things behind.  Not all that I leave behind is physical.  I leave behind some things that made that house home.  I wonder if I will find home again.  For now I follow and this part of the journey seems challenging. 

What matters is that I follow.    

The Things We Leave Behind – Michael Card

There sits Simon, so foolishly wise

Proudly he's tending his nets

Then Jesus calls and the boats drift away

And all that he owns he forgets

But more than the nets, he abandoned that day

He found that his pride was soon drifting away

And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Matthew was mindful of taking the tax

And pressing the people to pay

Hearing the call, he responded in faith

And followed the light and the way

And leaving the people so puzzled he found

The greed in his heart was no longer around and

And it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Every heart needs to be set free

From possessions that hold it so tight

'Cause freedom's not found in the things that we own

It's the power to do what is right

With Jesus, our only possession

And giving becomes our delight

And we can't imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

We show a love for the world in our lives

By worshiping goods we possess

Jesus has laid all our treasures aside

And love God above all the rest

'Cause when we say no, to the things of the world

We open our hearts to the love of the Lord and

It's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

And when we say no, to the things of the world

We open our hearts to the love of the Lord and

It's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Oh, and it's hard to imagine the freedom we find

From the things we leave behind

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Oceanus Procellarum

Greetings Dear Reader,

At times I feel like my emotions are banging on all cylinders.   As I attempt to get all things moved and settled there are moments of upheaval that are unavoidable.  Opening boxes is sometimes dangerous.  Putting dreams in boxes is always painful.

I need to remember that the circumstances never determine who I am.   They will, however, show who I am.   They will reveal what is at the core.  If my faith is not at the center of my choices I will not endure this sea of storms or the coming dead calm.  I do not know which is worse.

I know that people are worried about me.  I am determined to face this in faith and learn from it.  I have plans but they are not substantive yet.  The weekend may yield some of that substance if I can manage it.  I will find a way to do what I must.

No matter what we do as Christ followers we must always respond to what it done to us in the same way.  By “to us” I do not mean with malice or intent, but rather how the choices of others impact us.  How we respond to those things is what reveals our faith.  When we fail, how we respond to that failure reveals our willingness to follow.

I have and will fail.  I must immediately do what is right.  I must immediately choose to follow no matter the cost.  It is the only way the ship stays afloat.  After all, the safest place for a starship is space dock, but that is not what star ships are meant for.

The Water Lets You In – Books of Fears

Young man goes out looking

For the diamond in the sea.

Old man rows his boat to shore

And falls on twisted knees.

And you'll drown before

The water lets you in...

You'll drown before

The water lets you in...

The feeling that I fear the most

Is the one that follows me.

All across the starry coast

From sea to dying sea. It says...

You'll drown before

The water lets you in...

You'll drown before

The water lets you in...

I think the thing i've wanted most

Was just never meant to be.

A thousand waves, a thousand ghosts

Their sorrows follow me.

And you'll drown before

The water lets you in...

You'll drown before

The water lets you in...

oh horrible, oh horrible day.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Spread too Thin

Greetings Dear Reader,

'I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.' – Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring, - J.R.R. Tolkien. 

So much of this transition is up-heaving reminders of the most painful times in my life.  No matter what comes at me though I have current responsibilities.  I have things I must do to assure that I cannot just feel my way through this. 

I often wonder how thin God can stretch me before I break.  I often realize that if I am to be filled I must be broken.  Moving is emotionally overloading for me from the outset.  Some of those feelings are good.  In this case many are not.

As I wrote about earlier it is not the feelings that are allowed to control me.  That is difficult when I feel stretched to the breaking point.  This, however, is the measure of our faith.  Do we do what is right no matter what the cost?  This is not martyrdom.  It is simple faithful obedience.  

A friend commented yesterday that she is a storm wrapped in skin.   My first thought is that she is a storm worth weathering.  She always has been.  It seems to always come back to that question of who we choose.  I have made wrong choices when it comes to choosing people.  I have also made some good ones. 

Well-meaning people keep reminding me that in my solitude I am never alone.  I know this and in faith I believe it.  Unfortunately for me it does not always work.  So like today’s post, I do what I must to keep my word.  I do to keep my word at any cost because I want to follow in faith.  Today, however, I feel Bilbo’s thinness in a way that I never have. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House – Lost in Transition

Greetings Dear Reader,

I think that there is never a move without some kind of loss.  We discard, downsize, break, and lose things along the way.  In this transition I am discarding many things and that is not necessarily bad but it is still uncomfortable.

So far in this transition I have purged much and am realizing that I need to purge more.  I have too much of some things and no room for some others.  I have only had one accidental loss.  Some things were not packed properly and got broken.  They were reminders of the past that meant something to me but mourning their loss seems so small among the other losses.

What I do not want to get lost in this transition is my faith in the process.  God does not allow anything in my life that he has not planned a response to.  I need to trust that no matter how much it hurts, frightens, or takes.  If I believe God is good, and I do then the things lost in transition are just that.

There is not physical thing more important than my faith.  I must trust no matter how I feel and possessions.  It is allowable to feel the loss but it is also time to close the chapter when I have measured the loss against reality.  I do not want my faith and following to be lost in transition.

Closing Time – Semisonic

Closing time:  Open all the doors and let you out into the world

Closing time:  Turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.

Closing time:  One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer.

Closing time:  You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

Take me home

Closing time:  Time for you to go out to the places you will be from.

Closing time:  This room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters come.

So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits

I hope you have found a friend.

Closing time:  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Yeah, I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

Take me home

Closing time:  Time for you to go out to the places you will be from

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

Take me home

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

I know who I want to take me home.

Take me home

Closing time:  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Hoteling

Greetings Dear Reader,

As long as I can remember the first nights in a new house have always felt like a stay at a cheap hotel.  One is still living out of boxes.  The finding of things or missing of things is common.  It is like being in a hotel without the vacation.

The stark contrast is that there is no familiar home to return to at the end of it all.  You are turning your home back into a house.  Sometimes it is quick like ripping off a bandage.  Sometimes it is slow because of planned or necessary overlap.

This move has necessary overlap.  The task would be too momentous to accomplish all at once.  A great deal of the effort is spent in pickup, carrying, an placing.  Another part of the effort is the emotional weight of the change. 

I feel as if part of me will be permanently hoteling.   Some things about this new place remind me of years long past that are best forgotten.  Other aspects of this have yet to unfold but I have little hope of them being good.  Much of my routine is unsettled that adds to the weight.

It has descended on my just how much of the familiar comforts me.  Since the real furniture does not come for two weeks there is no comfortable place to sit when the moving and unpacking is done for the day. 

In all of this the biggest loss are my lapses in patience and kindness.  It does not matter why I do this.  It matters greatly that I do.  In the moment of this crucible I must burn away things that keep me from trusting Christ to provide ALL my needs no matter what else is going on around me.

When I fail, I will be unkind, impatient, and demanding.  That is no way to begin this part of the journey.  After all, at hotels we are guests and should behave like it.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Home to House - Kindness

Greetings Dear Reader,

When one moves one must make a judgement as to the level to which he will involve his friends.  Asking your friends to help you move is risky.  Some will.  Some will not.  I chose not to ask anyone.   Then, one of my friends, Robert, called and volunteered to help. 

First, it was not the generic, “let me know if you need help.”  Rather, it was “when are you moving, I have a van and want to help”. He did not just show up, he brought his older son.  They worked hard and well to help me.

My eldest Son and my Daughter did so as well.  The attempt to measure how much a gift like this means is foolish.  As I move to a place where I am living alone and faced with remapping my life I am grateful for those who are seeing to it that I do not move through it in desolation.

This part of the journey is difficult on many levels.  It is also necessary.   I am thankful that there are those alone the way who will support and show kindness.  I cannot express enough my gratitude for those who will lift and carry.  I pray God’s blessings upon you for your kindness.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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