What Does It Matter? ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I could think of multiple examples and metaphors to sharpen the point of this.  I could escalate the intensity of those examples to ponder things over which we invest importance that does not matter.  The matter is that we all know we place importance on things that do not truly matter.

Instead, I am going to suggest a few practical things to employ to measure the importance of things relative to that which truly matters.  We have discussed how all of our challenges begin in the mind.  What we think is what we become.

• Here are some questions to ponder when assigning importance to something:
• Will it matter in five years?
• Will my placing importance on this harm others in any way?
• Does my placing importance on this reflect the love of Christ?
• Is the importance I put on this a matter of pride or vanity?
• Am I making something minor a major at the expense of peace with others?
• Is this worth getting offended over?
• Is the importance I am placing on something an act of love?

The idea is that if it does not matter with respect to our love of the Father and of each other, it does not really matter.  It may be important to us.  It may even be something about which we are passionate.  Those things are not wrong.  They become a problem when we substitute making them matter over love, kindness, and compassion for others.

The journey has enough troubles for me to navigate without creating them on my own.  When I major on the minors that do not matter, I create problems for myself and others.  I become offended over trivial things and risk offending others.  As we travel together, perhaps we can learn to have lively discussions about things that we value without making them matter more than they should.

We can journey together more peacefully and perhaps more readily.  We can avoid replacing love with empty banter.  We reflect the light of Christ more fully and without obfuscation.  These are the things that generate joy in our journey.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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What Does It Matter? ~ Condiments and Toppings

Greetings Dear Reader,

When I was a children’s pastor, we held a quarterly Ice Cream Sundae buffet after church to raise funds for special events for the kids.  We would lay out all the acceptable toppings for ice cream, syrups, and whipped cream.

We would serve about two hundred adults and I would get to move back and forth along the toppings table greeting our “customers”.   What always caught my attention was the banter over which toppings were “proper” for ice cream.  I also learned that ice cream is the great equalizer when it comes to adults. 

I watched proper deacons squabble over pineapple versus strawberry toppings.  The walnuts and pecans were the sources of contention between the matrons in the ladies’ auxiliary.  There was even a couple who actually got into a shouting match once.  It seems that they were heatedly in conflict over the idea of a sundae having chocolate ice cream at all.

My perspective was that people were elevating simple choices to a level that caused conflict.  An event that was supposed to be joyful and child-like was turned into pockets of prideful preference.  The thing that wore on my heart the most was that they were arguing about something that did not impact them in any real way.  You see, they did not have to eat the toppings over which they were squabbling.  Their objections were to the preferences of others.

I am guilty of this.  That does not preclude me from seeing the foolishness of it.  It is similar to the conflicts over ketchup on hot dogs or pineapple on pizza.  It is like criticizing the color of another person’s car. I do not have to drive it, so it is none of my concern. 

We take this even further, Dear Reader.   We demand that others think like we do in many ways.  We judge others for not doing so and condemn them when they disagree.  We do not accept it when others do this to us, making us hypocrites as well.  We are willing to let others live in freedom if they choose to live like us.

The things that do not matter, when fueled by pride, cause us to turn them into things that do.  We deny others their preferences in areas that are actually opportunities to rejoice in our differences.  I have discovered some of my favorite things by experiencing them with those who knew them best. 

I must not judge the preferences of others.  I must see each difference as a facet of their uniqueness.  In that, I must learn to love them for the solitary place they hold in all of the universe.  When I focus on this, I can find the beauty that resides in each soul.  No matter their preferences in things that do not matter, I can find ways to love and learn if I am gracious and kind.  Please, however, do not ask me to try anchovies on my ice cream.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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What Does It Matter? ~ Toothpaste and Toilet Paper

Greetings Dear Reader,

My friend Stephen has a lovely family.  His wife was a model in her twenties.  His children are both intelligent and well-behaved.  His home is large and comfortable.  The few times I have been there, the food served was simply marvelous. 

The last time I was there, I noticed a change that motivated my curiosity.  The guest bathroom located in their large family room is very nice.  When I went in to use it, the toilet paper roll had reproduced amoeba-like.  Next to the one I knew from previous visits, was an identical one.  It took me a moment to notice the difference.

The identical rolls hung with the paper facing opposite directions.  My first urge was to correct the one that was hung the wrong way.  Then I perceived that it was not my place to change the way Stephen and Lilly appointed their home. 

When I rejoined them on the deck, I asked Stephen why the toilet paper hanger had replicated itself.  He smiled broadly because, as I was to learn, he loved telling this story.  It seems that he and Lilly had disagreed for over ten years about how the paper was to be placed on the roll.  One day, when they had argued about it, he put up the second roll in anger.  

The result was not what he expected.  Lilly was thrilled and bought second holders for the other two bathrooms in their house.  Stephen realized that his angry response had led him to a suitable compromise.  He lovingly put up the other two holders.  Since it was just the two of us talking, I had to ask if the usage did not reveal which was the preferred method in the home.

He smiled as he explained that this became obvious within a month.  He sounded a bit smug as he informed me that his preference was the most popular one.  Then he said the thing that was the real solution to the problem.  He told me that to keep Lilly from feeling like she has lost in any way, he routinely switches the rolls as they diminish so that she thinks they are used equally.

I hope that someday they get to the place where the roll direction does not matter.  I am not there yet but that is another story.   What I admire is Stephen’s commitment to his wife.  What I must learn is how much it just does not matter which way the roll faces.  It is of no real consequence where one squeezes the toothpaste tube.  There are a thousand preferences that we turn into points of contention each day.

The thing I must face is that among all the ills of the world, the petty things just do not matter.  The things that are preferences and not things over which we should ever argue.  We must attend to love over anything that arises as a point of contention.  If I am to follow Christ well and become unoffendable, it is you that must take priority over preference and convenience Dear Reader.  We must not create offenses over things that are preferences.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

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What Does It Matter? ~ Long Lines

Greetings Dear Reader,

We have seen the memes about the lack of open registers at some large stores.  Recently I was waiting in line at the store with a few items.  There were three people in front of me and the other open register had line six deep.  There were four other closed checkout stations.

The guy in front of me turned and let out a long complaint.  He was obviously irritated and desired a fellow traveler with his impatience.  Immediately, I was instead irritated by his complaint.  The constant internal war between my fallen and redeem natures was at once in full conflict.

I wished to chide the man for his impatience.  I did not, however, know what his circumstances were.  Pride asked me to feel good about my not caring about the line length.  Then I recalled that it was just as wrong to be impatient with this man without cause.  I saw that I needed to engage with the human.

To do this without agreement or judgment required not answering and not chiding.  I asked him about the rest of his day.  He was in a hurry to get to lunch and was picking up something to add to the repast.  Again, my fallen self wanted to judge him for waiting until the last minute.  I shoved that down and really listened as he continued.

The man went on to say that he was invited to see some family that he has not in quite some time.  He was anxious and unsure of what to bring.  He had chosen crackers, cheese, some summer sausage, and a nice bottle of wine.  I told him that I thought his choices were spot-on.

Once I was distracted by showing love and kindness to the man, his impatience and my foolish irritation dissipated.  We talked about his family and were at the cashier in less time than we both anticipated.  He left, hopefully, more hopeful.  I saw the same man a church yesterday.  He did not see me but I realized that he walked past me to his seat every Sunday.

I was thankful that the Father loves me enough to nudge me to put love first.  What does it matter that someone is anxious and irritable when it gives me the opportunity to show love?   Love must never be trumped by long lines or anxiety.  I must be loving no matter how others are acting.  I must include in that not judging them for that behavior.

It is choosing what matters over my agenda and self-righteousness.  I must be certain that I do not set aside love for temporary smugness or insensitivity.  What matters is that I capture the thoughts before they get lease to express themselves.  As we travel, Dear Reader, we must remember that love is what matters in long lines.  This will aid in making us unoffendable.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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What Does It Matter? ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Recently I tried a new restaurant that was supposed to offer fresh seafood.  The menu was promising and the staff friendly.  Being new in a small community, it was very busy.  I ordered the shrimp and grits.

As I said, they were busy.  It took about thirty minutes for our meal to arrive.  The table next to us had ordered just before us.  Since we shared a server, it is likely that our orders were submitted to the kitchen simultaneously.  As we waited, I enjoyed conversation with my dinner guests.  The couple at the next table grew increasingly irritable. 

In the half-hour it took for our meals to arrive, I discovered new things about my friends.  The couple at the other table were almost fuming and barked at the server when she delivered their food.  When she brought our plates, I reassured her that we were not upset and that we understood that she did not control prep time for a meal.

Her smile was a great reward.  I noticed that she returned to our table every time she visited one where her customers were not as kind.  In truth, the food was not very good.  All the right components were there but it was clear that no one had taught them how to assemble proper shrimp and grits.  My guests both enjoyed their meals.

When we were ready to leave, our server noticed that despite the slow service, I had left a generous tip.  I explained that the time waiting was worth it due to the time talking with my friends.  She insisted that she did not deserve a tip that large (it was an honest 20%).  I explained that it was not her fault that the kitchen was slow.  I refused to make her pay for their errors. 

Even though it was accurate, I said that to make her feel better.  In truth, I was certain that it mattered more to show her love and grace and be an example of that for my younger friends.  As I seek to navigate the path of being lovingly unoffendable, the balance keeps asking a question.

Does whatever is irritating me really matter?  I need to firmly filter all irritants through this.  Perhaps I can become agile at deflecting the things that do not matter instantly.  It begins by asking if what I am bothered about matters more than being loving.  This should prove an interesting conversation as we journey together Dear Reader.  Perhaps we can discover areas of irritation that can be discarded completely.   As always, I treasure your thoughts and questions.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

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Read the Label ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I often find labels in English from other countries quite entertaining.  The first laptop docking bay I owned had a bright yellow label.   It read “This Unit Must be Earthed!”  The instructions for my wireless phone charger insist that I not use it for a coaster or try to warm children with it.  My keyboard advises me not to use it in the shower.

The labels on things are often necessary.  Sometimes, however, those creating them do not understand how to communicate with us.  The same danger exists when we label each other.  We cannot know someone well enough to label them for others.  Further, I think there is a better way to approach our interactions with each other.

When someone tries to engage me in conversations that involve labeling others, I have a new response.  Instead of reading the label they point out to me, I want to be present as to the uniqueness of the individual.  My response is, “thank you for wanting to share with me.  I am trying to hone my skill at discovering who someone is on my own.”

In some cases, labels are necessary and vital.  When it comes to humans, I prefer the labels that the Father has already given them.  You see, Dear Reader, the Father calls us all his own.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  We are loved, unique, and being perfected.  Further, the Father makes it clear that every human is worthy of my love.  Those are the labels we are required to observe.  That is how we are supposed to treat each other.

The reading of labels, signs, and milestones along the journey is necessary.  We must pick and choose carefully the labels we assign and affix.  When others wish to label us, we are not required to believe those labels.  We are not bound by them either.  What matters is how the Father labels us.  Perhaps if we focus on that, the labels will be fewer, kinder, and more honest.  As we walk together, I will not label you.   Perhaps we can work together to see past the labels given to others that are not true.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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Read the Label ~ The Benchmark Label

Greetings Dear Reader,

There are many pieces of fine silver dishes that bear the name Revere.  Paul Revere, a famous early American silversmith also played a significant role in the Revolutionary War.  His silver work is sought after because of his fame and its quality.

Because of this, there are many fakes and forgeries resembling pieces he might have crafted.  The way that one tells if a piece is original Revere Ware is by its benchmark.  The Revere benchmark is not impossible to forge but it is distinctive.  It is one of the vital identifiers for authentication of goods created by Paul Revere.

Still, a genuine piece of Revere Ware is valuable and historic.  My Grandmother had a fruit bowl that bore this mark and she kept it as the centerpiece of her china cabinet.  The bowl was always gleaming in the evening sun from its place in the hutch.  She would fill it with fruit on special occasions and the conversation always seemed to get around to her upending it to show the benchmark.

The benchmark of Christ-followers is very clear.  “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  This is part of the charge given to his followers as his representatives.  Since these are part of the great commandments, to love the Father and each other, we are to be recognized by our love.  That is what serves to authenticate us as Christ-followers.

The label we are supposed to carry is that of being loving.  It is to be the mark that sets us apart from anything else.  Our love for each other is the thing that is supposed to confirm that we belong to Christ and are living like him.  

There are many who claim to follow Christ.   If they are hateful, unloving, and harsh, they are not evidencing authentic faith.  I must remember that if I carry the mark of Christ-follower, I must live out that label.  It is that simple.  If I do not have the benchmark of love, I am not following well.  We need to not only be authentic but it must be obvious because of our love, Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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Read the Label ~ See It As I See It

Greetings Dear Reader,

When I was first beginning to work as a professor, I determined that my students would always know how deeply I cared for them.  Years later, when I moved to my third teaching position, as chair of the department, my fellow department chairs were trying to warn me about the group of freshmen I was about to inherit.   They had a reputation for being difficult. 

I formed a plan to win them over and shared it with my colleagues.  They laughed at me kindly.  The plan included some very strict guidelines for attendance, work submission, and classroom interaction.  One of the other chairs said that I would not last a month.  The other part of my plan was to ignore the labels placed on these students and show them their potential through love and respect.

I am still friends with most of that first class of freshmen.  I am proud of the way they have built their careers.  There is an aspect to the labels we put on others that is both unkind and self-satisfying.  We see the negative aspect of an individual, pull out our label maker, and brand them for life. 

I imagine the labels I carry in the minds of others at times.  They have decided what they think of me and affixed their opinions to my existence.  Some of them are deserved.  This drives me to be very careful of what I print as a sign for others.  When Christ-followers do this, they become no better than modern-day Pharisees.  They claim religious authority whilst ignoring the weighty matters of the obligation to love, kindness, forgiveness, patience, and humility.   When we deal in labels instead of grace, we devour that space others need to see Christ and follow him as well.

It is not enough that I not affix labels to others.   I must ignore the ones already affixed.  I must look past the labels worn out of force or choice and see the human life that exits beyond it.  No matter the direction or quality of that life, my duty is to love him or her with all that is possible from the Father.  The journey home requires that I travel with whoever falls in step with me and that I travel with them full of love and kindness.  The more I do this, the more find that the labels fade to nothing and the person beneath them is amazing and beautiful.  This is the way of peace, Dear Reader.  This is how we must walk.

It is in the love of a person in the moment that I can get a glimpse of how Christ sees others.  In yielding to this glimpse, I can look past everything to the fellow traveler who is as worthy of love as I am.   In these moments I can understand why Christ asks me to deal in grace and love; why he asks me to “see it as I see it.”

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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Read the Label ~ T-Shirts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have a good friend who almost always wears t-shirts with some message on them.  Some are funny.  Some are poignant.  They are never political and most of them yield a conversation.

We were discussing this and he pointed out how they serve as an icebreaker.  When someone comments on them, he is afforded the chance to begin a conversation.  Since all of them have a connection to faith and following for him, that is the path he takes.  His reason for carrying large labels on his shirts is to invite others to see what he likes and find some common ground.

One of the things I have noticed is that some of them are obscure.  People who respond to them possess a specific set of likes or a unique affinity.  I have watched him make a new friend over a t-shirt from a Sci-Fi show canceled in 2003.  We will be walking through a crowd and someone will say, “Cool shirt”, or something like that.  He responds with kindness.

He uses these labels to invite others instead of pushing them away.  His purpose is to create the opportunity to start the conversation.  What if we all took on this approach?  We could make the labels we carry invitations to know us.  We could open ourselves to being labeled as loving, kind, followers of Christ. 

We are capable of being in control of the labels we carry.  We see it all the time in others.  Since we are accountable for all that we do and communicate.  It is in our best interest to live as walking labels to the one we follow.  We should do it with intent.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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Read the Label ~ Signs

Greetings Dear Reader,

In one of my favorite baseball movies, For Love of the Game, there is a conversation about signs: 

You know, I always thought that men and women should just carry around signs.  If you're poor and you can't afford it, you would make yours out of cardboard and string.     

And if you're rich, you could have it lettered in gold leaf or pounded out of tin by craftsmen.  It doesn't matter.  But you wear them around your neck, see?  And they say things, like ''shallow''…

Sometimes people do wear signs or labels that tell us who they are.  Often though, they are telling us how they wish to be perceived.  T-Shirts and tattoos tell us who others support, where they belong, what they have been through, and what they believe.  Sometimes we learn things that let us know another better.  Sometimes we learn that which we turn into judgment based on a label.

The idea is that people express who they are or wish to be through labels as well.  Some are sincere, some entertainment, and some wishful.  All of them tell us something about the person if we look beyond the label to what it teaches us about them.

These signs are an opportunity.  They are the chance to learn and perhaps find a way to know someone better.  Too often, we choose instead to use the signs worn by others to divide them into people we would know or reject.  They become dividers instead of uniting us.  They are an invitation to see something about a human we are supposed to love.

Some of these signs create a division that is harmless.  We must pity the person wearing the Clemson shirt at Sanford Stadium.  They are simply proclaiming their loyalty to a lost cause.  We must not take the proclamation as an excuse to disrespect or reject a human.  What we must do is see past the orange to the person who is there.

Even the signs that represent hatred and evil are carried by those the Father loves.  There is where our opportunity is found.  Forewarned of their love of evil, we can respond out of our love for God.  We can walk through the hedge they put around their world and show them the love of Christ.  This is how we are supposed to live.

There is a reason Dear Reader that I did not say which symbols.  We all have signs and labels that represent hatred to us.  They are different depending upon your world view.  What is a sacred symbol to some is heinous to others.  Our obligation is to love them beyond the signs they carry.  No matter if the sign is a warning or a joyful proclamation, my obligation is to see it as knowledge of the person that will allow me to love them more meaningfully.  It is just another chance to show the Father’s love.  

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

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