What Does It Matter? ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I could think of multiple examples and metaphors to sharpen the point of this.  I could escalate the intensity of those examples to ponder things over which we invest importance that does not matter.  The matter is that we all know we place importance on things that do not truly matter.

Instead, I am going to suggest a few practical things to employ to measure the importance of things relative to that which truly matters.  We have discussed how all of our challenges begin in the mind.  What we think is what we become.

• Here are some questions to ponder when assigning importance to something:
• Will it matter in five years?
• Will my placing importance on this harm others in any way?
• Does my placing importance on this reflect the love of Christ?
• Is the importance I put on this a matter of pride or vanity?
• Am I making something minor a major at the expense of peace with others?
• Is this worth getting offended over?
• Is the importance I am placing on something an act of love?

The idea is that if it does not matter with respect to our love of the Father and of each other, it does not really matter.  It may be important to us.  It may even be something about which we are passionate.  Those things are not wrong.  They become a problem when we substitute making them matter over love, kindness, and compassion for others.

The journey has enough troubles for me to navigate without creating them on my own.  When I major on the minors that do not matter, I create problems for myself and others.  I become offended over trivial things and risk offending others.  As we travel together, perhaps we can learn to have lively discussions about things that we value without making them matter more than they should.

We can journey together more peacefully and perhaps more readily.  We can avoid replacing love with empty banter.  We reflect the light of Christ more fully and without obfuscation.  These are the things that generate joy in our journey.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

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What Does It Matter? ~ Condiments and Toppings

Greetings Dear Reader,

When I was a children’s pastor, we held a quarterly Ice Cream Sundae buffet after church to raise funds for special events for the kids.  We would lay out all the acceptable toppings for ice cream, syrups, and whipped cream.

We would serve about two hundred adults and I would get to move back and forth along the toppings table greeting our “customers”.   What always caught my attention was the banter over which toppings were “proper” for ice cream.  I also learned that ice cream is the great equalizer when it comes to adults. 

I watched proper deacons squabble over pineapple versus strawberry toppings.  The walnuts and pecans were the sources of contention between the matrons in the ladies’ auxiliary.  There was even a couple who actually got into a shouting match once.  It seems that they were heatedly in conflict over the idea of a sundae having chocolate ice cream at all.

My perspective was that people were elevating simple choices to a level that caused conflict.  An event that was supposed to be joyful and child-like was turned into pockets of prideful preference.  The thing that wore on my heart the most was that they were arguing about something that did not impact them in any real way.  You see, they did not have to eat the toppings over which they were squabbling.  Their objections were to the preferences of others.

I am guilty of this.  That does not preclude me from seeing the foolishness of it.  It is similar to the conflicts over ketchup on hot dogs or pineapple on pizza.  It is like criticizing the color of another person’s car. I do not have to drive it, so it is none of my concern. 

We take this even further, Dear Reader.   We demand that others think like we do in many ways.  We judge others for not doing so and condemn them when they disagree.  We do not accept it when others do this to us, making us hypocrites as well.  We are willing to let others live in freedom if they choose to live like us.

The things that do not matter, when fueled by pride, cause us to turn them into things that do.  We deny others their preferences in areas that are actually opportunities to rejoice in our differences.  I have discovered some of my favorite things by experiencing them with those who knew them best. 

I must not judge the preferences of others.  I must see each difference as a facet of their uniqueness.  In that, I must learn to love them for the solitary place they hold in all of the universe.  When I focus on this, I can find the beauty that resides in each soul.  No matter their preferences in things that do not matter, I can find ways to love and learn if I am gracious and kind.  Please, however, do not ask me to try anchovies on my ice cream.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

What Does It Matter? ~ Toothpaste and Toilet Paper

Greetings Dear Reader,

My friend Stephen has a lovely family.  His wife was a model in her twenties.  His children are both intelligent and well-behaved.  His home is large and comfortable.  The few times I have been there, the food served was simply marvelous. 

The last time I was there, I noticed a change that motivated my curiosity.  The guest bathroom located in their large family room is very nice.  When I went in to use it, the toilet paper roll had reproduced amoeba-like.  Next to the one I knew from previous visits, was an identical one.  It took me a moment to notice the difference.

The identical rolls hung with the paper facing opposite directions.  My first urge was to correct the one that was hung the wrong way.  Then I perceived that it was not my place to change the way Stephen and Lilly appointed their home. 

When I rejoined them on the deck, I asked Stephen why the toilet paper hanger had replicated itself.  He smiled broadly because, as I was to learn, he loved telling this story.  It seems that he and Lilly had disagreed for over ten years about how the paper was to be placed on the roll.  One day, when they had argued about it, he put up the second roll in anger.  

The result was not what he expected.  Lilly was thrilled and bought second holders for the other two bathrooms in their house.  Stephen realized that his angry response had led him to a suitable compromise.  He lovingly put up the other two holders.  Since it was just the two of us talking, I had to ask if the usage did not reveal which was the preferred method in the home.

He smiled as he explained that this became obvious within a month.  He sounded a bit smug as he informed me that his preference was the most popular one.  Then he said the thing that was the real solution to the problem.  He told me that to keep Lilly from feeling like she has lost in any way, he routinely switches the rolls as they diminish so that she thinks they are used equally.

I hope that someday they get to the place where the roll direction does not matter.  I am not there yet but that is another story.   What I admire is Stephen’s commitment to his wife.  What I must learn is how much it just does not matter which way the roll faces.  It is of no real consequence where one squeezes the toothpaste tube.  There are a thousand preferences that we turn into points of contention each day.

The thing I must face is that among all the ills of the world, the petty things just do not matter.  The things that are preferences and not things over which we should ever argue.  We must attend to love over anything that arises as a point of contention.  If I am to follow Christ well and become unoffendable, it is you that must take priority over preference and convenience Dear Reader.  We must not create offenses over things that are preferences.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

What Does It Matter? ~ Long Lines

Greetings Dear Reader,

We have seen the memes about the lack of open registers at some large stores.  Recently I was waiting in line at the store with a few items.  There were three people in front of me and the other open register had line six deep.  There were four other closed checkout stations.

The guy in front of me turned and let out a long complaint.  He was obviously irritated and desired a fellow traveler with his impatience.  Immediately, I was instead irritated by his complaint.  The constant internal war between my fallen and redeem natures was at once in full conflict.

I wished to chide the man for his impatience.  I did not, however, know what his circumstances were.  Pride asked me to feel good about my not caring about the line length.  Then I recalled that it was just as wrong to be impatient with this man without cause.  I saw that I needed to engage with the human.

To do this without agreement or judgment required not answering and not chiding.  I asked him about the rest of his day.  He was in a hurry to get to lunch and was picking up something to add to the repast.  Again, my fallen self wanted to judge him for waiting until the last minute.  I shoved that down and really listened as he continued.

The man went on to say that he was invited to see some family that he has not in quite some time.  He was anxious and unsure of what to bring.  He had chosen crackers, cheese, some summer sausage, and a nice bottle of wine.  I told him that I thought his choices were spot-on.

Once I was distracted by showing love and kindness to the man, his impatience and my foolish irritation dissipated.  We talked about his family and were at the cashier in less time than we both anticipated.  He left, hopefully, more hopeful.  I saw the same man a church yesterday.  He did not see me but I realized that he walked past me to his seat every Sunday.

I was thankful that the Father loves me enough to nudge me to put love first.  What does it matter that someone is anxious and irritable when it gives me the opportunity to show love?   Love must never be trumped by long lines or anxiety.  I must be loving no matter how others are acting.  I must include in that not judging them for that behavior.

It is choosing what matters over my agenda and self-righteousness.  I must be certain that I do not set aside love for temporary smugness or insensitivity.  What matters is that I capture the thoughts before they get lease to express themselves.  As we travel, Dear Reader, we must remember that love is what matters in long lines.  This will aid in making us unoffendable.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

Facebook       Twitter        

Medium         Instagram 

This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

What Does It Matter? ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Recently I tried a new restaurant that was supposed to offer fresh seafood.  The menu was promising and the staff friendly.  Being new in a small community, it was very busy.  I ordered the shrimp and grits.

As I said, they were busy.  It took about thirty minutes for our meal to arrive.  The table next to us had ordered just before us.  Since we shared a server, it is likely that our orders were submitted to the kitchen simultaneously.  As we waited, I enjoyed conversation with my dinner guests.  The couple at the next table grew increasingly irritable. 

In the half-hour it took for our meals to arrive, I discovered new things about my friends.  The couple at the other table were almost fuming and barked at the server when she delivered their food.  When she brought our plates, I reassured her that we were not upset and that we understood that she did not control prep time for a meal.

Her smile was a great reward.  I noticed that she returned to our table every time she visited one where her customers were not as kind.  In truth, the food was not very good.  All the right components were there but it was clear that no one had taught them how to assemble proper shrimp and grits.  My guests both enjoyed their meals.

When we were ready to leave, our server noticed that despite the slow service, I had left a generous tip.  I explained that the time waiting was worth it due to the time talking with my friends.  She insisted that she did not deserve a tip that large (it was an honest 20%).  I explained that it was not her fault that the kitchen was slow.  I refused to make her pay for their errors. 

Even though it was accurate, I said that to make her feel better.  In truth, I was certain that it mattered more to show her love and grace and be an example of that for my younger friends.  As I seek to navigate the path of being lovingly unoffendable, the balance keeps asking a question.

Does whatever is irritating me really matter?  I need to firmly filter all irritants through this.  Perhaps I can become agile at deflecting the things that do not matter instantly.  It begins by asking if what I am bothered about matters more than being loving.  This should prove an interesting conversation as we journey together Dear Reader.  Perhaps we can discover areas of irritation that can be discarded completely.   As always, I treasure your thoughts and questions.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

Facebook       Twitter        

Medium         Instagram 

This BLOG:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

This is the Stuff…

Greetings Dear Reader,

…that drives me crazy.

I could so easily list all the things over which I obsess.  I could also ponder the things that irritate me without cause.  There is no point in so doing as it is only going to cause me to obsess or be irritated.

There are, however, things that cause me to struggle against being irritated by or being irritating to others.  The problem is that this leads to it being difficult to be loving to others.  I have realized afresh that the little irritations can be fodder for becoming a better man.

I can turn chances for irritation into opportunities to love others.  I can use them to deal in grace and mercy.  I can avail myself of further grace to be understanding and kind.  It is in these moments I can make the choice to be a better version of myself.

All this stuff is geared to give us these opportunities.  The minor irritations in life are chances to hone our skills at love and kindness. They are meant to make us more gracious and understanding.  If I can master this in the small irritations I am better prepared for doing the same in the larger life challenges.

Practicing kindness and grace develops the spiritual muscle memory.  It needs to reflexive to be understanding and kind.  It must be habitual to promote patience over irritation.   The stuff that drives me crazy must drive me toward Christ.  It is what he uses.

This Is the Stuff – Francesca Battistelli

I lost my keys in the great unknown

And call me please 'cause I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy

This is the stuff that's getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this the stuff You use

45 in a 35 sirens and fines

While I'm running behind

Whoa ho ho

This is the stuff that drives me crazy

This is the stuff that's getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess,

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this the stuff You use

So break me of impatience

Conquer my frustrations

I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world

Whoa ho ho ho

Oooooh this is the stuff that drives me crazy

This is the stuff

Someone save me

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff that gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this the stuff You use

Whoa whoa ho ho

This is the stuff You use.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)