01 May 2016

The Conversations In My Head – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

The inner conversations take up so much that we do not realize.  Little did I know when I began writing this series that I would get an entire day to battle my thoughts unbidden.  I think that much of our conflict erupts when our internal conversations spill out on each other in anger or pain.

When our inner conversations have free reign they produce as much fear and anger as possible.  Past pain bubbles up in the soup to unite with current offenses and create doom and gloom.  The fallen self prods us to judge and condemn.  It yearns for us to give lease to hurtful words instead of honest communication. 

Whatever causes the inner thoughts that assails my peace I am required to bring them into captivity.  I must avoid vain imaginations or faithless ponderings.  I must not let the lesser emotions have purchase or give fear control.

At the end of the day I often feel worn and tattered.  I know that we win in the end but most days I feel like I am losing.  The quiet dark settles in and I repair to my chambers At the bottom of the well of thoughts lie the ghost and goblins of the past.  They work hard to tell me I am losing.  I so often feel like I am losing everything.  I know that I am not but I must control the conversations in my head.

Thank you for your company Dear Reader.  You have no idea how much I value you.  That too is a part of the constant conversation in my head.

Losing – Tenth Avenue North

I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard

This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Well it's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times
'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.

This is love, this is hate...
We've got a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Oh, no!

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down

Oh, Father won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Yeah, I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losin'

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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