05 February 2017

Second Thoughts – Memories Unwanted Unleashed

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

I saw the movie A Dog’s Purpose this weekend.  There will be no spoilers here.  I found the movie to be well made if a bit predictable.  I think, however, that they wished the predictability to prepare the viewer for the emotional impact. 

I was not prepared at all.  The movie brought tears to my eyes as soon as the central story began.  It struck a deep well of long capped over memories.  They erupted in a geyser of tears and pain that still echoes this evening. 

Her name was Shabel’s Shady Lady.  She was a champion Rough Collie.  She was a gift from a family friend who became my constant companion.  We hiked the woods and trails around our suburban home for hours and days.  She was gentle, obedient, and very well behaved.

We took her everywhere.  She slept in my room and would nuzzle me awake every morning before school.  When I returned in the afternoons she was always waiting at the door for our pre-homework jaunt.

I will not chronicle the details of her loss.  It is enough to say that others conspired to take her from me.  The loss was sudden, tragic, and met with no compassion from my parents.  I have not owned a dog since.  I will not until it is completely on my terms.

I cannot believe how raw and sharp the memories of that time are.  I thought that I had abandoned them.  Instead they lay in wait for me in some frozen buried part of my heart and mind.  Yesterday they assaulted me with cruel determination to undo me. 

It was necessary to visit the memories and forgive those who harmed so deeply with intent.  I had to remember the treachery and forgive as I know that I never did.  The pain is fresh and raw.  I don’t even have pictures; just memories to hold.

Walk on the Ocean – Toad the Wet Sprocket

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away?
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better and everything's safe

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

And half an hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke
We don't even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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