Curmudgeonly

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I wish I could embrace the idea of becoming a grumpy, ill tempered, and curmudgeonly individual. I am a crooked stick and my fallen nature is both wicked and warped. I do not hate mankind but I am increasingly impatient concerning man’s absurdities. I suppose I have not become crusty enough to alienate people through pure irritability.

I realize that I can be pretty hard on people. Even though I have told myself I was trying to help I was instead making myself feel better about myself. There are times when I was genuinely trying to help but that is beside the point. I easily see the stupidity of mankind’s moral and social schizophrenia but I love people too much to write them off as bumbling fools. I get in my own way through my faults and selfishness.

Recently I observed that there are times when I wish to shut out the entire world and escape the invasive timbre of electronic or human input. I have never liked quiet before but am finding it to be an ineffable sanctuary from time to time. I am trying to balance learning the skill of looking inward honestly without losing my ability to look outwardly with vision and optimism.

Added to that is the constant decay I see around me of morals, values, and man’s regard for his own kind. The thing that I must battle against is the cynicism that accompanies tempering my optimism. I wish to see things as they are without indulging the anger or hopelessness entangled in this vision. I also must not indulge in pride offered when I see things that I might see “worse” than I am. I cannot afford to compare myself to anything but Christ and who I need to be in his eyes. I cannot indulge in seeing my fellow man in any other way than how Christ sees them. The miniscule portion of my anger that is just must be tempered by love, compassion, and grace.

I will reserve my curmudgeonly adventures to my inner thoughts and times of solitude. I will also explore ways in which I can prevent my nature from becoming crusty or too malcontent.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."