7 Miles and Counting

Greetings Dear Reader,

I am really quite surprised to be here. I do not feel as old as I am. Many do not believe my age, but there are signs. I thought about a girl from my youth today. It was a sunny summer afternoon and we had gone to her house to escape the heat. I had to leave for home and dinner but she wanted me to stay. I was young, tan, and fit back then.

She held me close as I headed for her door and whispered, “Please stay. I will let you do anything you wish if you will just stay.” I knew she meant it. She did not desire sex. She did not want to be alone. Her desperation for love that was real made her willing to settle for the false kind to not feel alone. I left, explaining that I wished to protect my purity and hers. She never spoke to me again.

I have done less noble things since then. I have done foolish things to keep from being alone myself, or rather to keep from feeling alone. I have walked with Christ for thirty six years; some closer than others, and I have never been alone. My greatest sins have come when I felt fear of abandonment or rejection. I could have just embraced that Christ loved me and would fulfill those needs but I chose to try and fix, make, or build the security on my own. The price for that has been high for everyone it touched.

The thing is I do not feel as old as I am. I had to work to not become a man of no feeling. I fight the screaming denizens of my fallen nature daily. There some who seem to see only where I need to go when I wish so desperately they would see how far I have come. Then I realize that the road is ever rising and it is what I must expunge from my nature that matters. “I have promises yet to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a home owner. He brings new and old things out of his treasure store."