This was my introduction to Jethro Tull, Ian Anderson,
Aqualung, and beginning to think for myself.
I went the wrong way for quite some time. My journey was toward anger, hatred, and
destruction. Drugs and alcohol helped me
along. Loneliness and feelings of
rejection were my constant companions.
I believe there are some wounds from which one never truly
recovers. Those inflicted on me both
intentionally and unintentionally between ages eight and eleven created soil
fertile for my descent into destruction.
I realize that this seems young but that does not change the truth of it. I mastered hiding my pain and
self-destructiveness. I was brooding and
miserable.
Music became my only friend for some time. In the early seventies there was plenty of
dark music. Fortunately there was also Thick as a Brick. This is a true concept album containing a
single 43 minute song. It is worth the
listen but be sure to do so with a copy of the lyrics.
In 1974 I had another encounter with a man who would change
my life. I had plans to take my own life
and this man saw through my bravado and reached out for the damaged child
screaming inside me. He patiently
answered all my objections to God and acceptance of Christ.
What broke my willful resistance to the love and grace that
Christ offered was this man looking into my eyes and with no knowledge of my past
or thoughts saying one simple thing. He
put his hand on my shoulder after listening to my objections to the church and
smiled. “God is not the kind of thing
you wind up on Sunday’s and ignore the rest of the week.”
I may have used my introduction to Jethro Tull to begin my
path to hating God. God used my love of
Jethro Tull to draw me back to him. No
matter where you are in the theological journey I think that faith and
following saved my life. I do not hate
anyone that believes differently than me.
I do not think that one can get around that being a part of any faith or
being an atheist contains a measure of arrogance. Believing in anything means that others are
excluded. This requires that one
approach faith with humility. In that is
learning possible.
I do know that I have learned that there is a vast difference
between organized religion and following Christ. I do not mean that church or a certain
pattern of practice is wrong. What I do
mean is that choosing that pattern must be done with a firm understanding that
it is the following and not the function that matters.
I have a friend who got some bad clam chowder at a restaurant
in Florida about thirty years ago. To this
day he refuses to eat clam chowder. I
make really good clam chowder and it is never poison. I have had bad clam chowder as well. It just seems foolish to reject a food for
life that is wonderful and can be safe to eat.
Rejecting God because of the bad actions of some of his
followers seems just as unthinkable to me.
That does not mean that I disrespect or dislike anyone who has. Rather, it is my responsibility to cultivate
love and humility that will allow others to see the difference between churches
and Jesus. It is not my job to covert
others, to save souls, or to judge.
It is my job to see Aqualung and have real compassion for
him. It is my responsibility to see
Johnny Scarecrow and want him to have a coat and more. I must brush aside wind up gods and caged
images so that Christ can be seen for who he is. Guilt and gilding are both improper ways to
treat faith and following. I must choose
to live what I believe in a way that makes others feel accepted and
welcome.
What I believe is my choice.
What I do about it must comply with who Christ is in a way that is both
confident and humble. What I believe
must be seen long before it is spoken. I
have failed in this in the past and should not be surprised at the damage it
causes when I do so. I do not pretend
perfection. I do with to be identified
with both the crucified and risen Jesus. By God’s grace I hope to live it out in a way
that is honest and genuine. You see
after all is said and done, how I live out what I believe is not up to some
religion, denomination, or system of theology.
It is truly, Dear Reader, Up to Me.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer
who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home
owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure
store."
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment