East to West – I Don’t Want to End up Where you Found Me

Greetings Dear Reader,

“The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest.  I don't want to end up where You found me and it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight.”

The wolf is always at the door.  The flesh wars against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh.  The things that I want to do that are wrong always clamor for my attention.   They want to distract me from what is good and kind.  They offer paths other than the journey.

I recall what it was like before I chose to follow Christ.  All I wanted was escape from the pain I constantly carried.  Some of it is still there but it no longer controls me or makes me want to die. 

I am not in a dark place whilst I walk through this sign.  I am wrestling with being alone.  It takes a constant remembrance that the Father knows my needs and has all in hand.  I truly believe this.  It is late at night, when I retire alone that the darkness reminds me how lonely I am. 

It is in these moments that faith matters.  It is in this time that I decide if I am going to follow for not.  The trick is that I will choose to follow.  It is not in me to do it on my own but Christ promises to give both the will and the ability to follow. 

Once again it comes down to faith.  I must live what I believe.    I must actively follow even in the darkness I must follow and believe.

Loose Ends – Dan Fogelberg

Climbing a mountain

In darkness

Stranded alone on the ledge.

Every attempt that I make to hold on

Pushes me nearer the edge.

Sensing the changes impending

My thoughts are diffused by despair

I feel like I'm swimming straight up

Underwater

Desperately racing for air

I'm racing for air.

And the chords struck at birth

Grow more distant

Yet, we strike them again and again.

And we plead and we pray

For a glimmer of day

As the night folds its wings

And descends

Exposing the loose ends.

Surrounding myself with possessions

I surely have more than I need

I don't know if this is justice, hard earned,

Or simply a matter of greed

A matter of greed.

And the chords struck at birth

Grow more distant

Yet, we strike them again and again.

And we plead and we pray

For a glimmer of day

As the night folds its wings

And descends

Exposing the loose ends.

And the chords struck at birth

Grow more distant

Yet, we strike them again and again.

And we plead and we pray

For a glimmer of day

As the night folds its wings

And descends

Exposing the loose ends.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Second Thoughts – Still Boldly Going

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

Fifty years ago today at 10:00 PM Eastern time my mother awakened me from slumber in my room.  She led me to the living room and gave me popcorn and juice as I watched the opening moments of the first Star Trek episode. 

I was instantly enthralled.  I have spent the last fifty years living and reliving the many voyages of the Starship Enterprise.  Her ongoing mission in my life has shaped my love of literature, film, and life.  I owe a debt I can never pay to Gene Roddenberry and the cast of that original series.  I talk about this at length in Sheetrock on the Road, my latest novel. 

As I think about all that has happened surrounding this show and its children I ponder all the people that have journeyed with me through the adventures.  I have used the common ground it creates to entertain and educate.  It has been the backdrop to much of my thinking and values.

I have been privileged to meet William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Deforest Kelly, and Georgie Taki.  I have spent hours in discussion of the philosophies and values represented in the episodes with students, friends, and families.  The final frontier is still not close enough to us for my liking.   I think we need to try harder to build the dream.

As this milestone passes I am thankful for all that has been given me by this lovely creation.  IT is in this fantasy that I find much of my understanding of reality.  It is in these characters that I find much of my character.  Long after the credits fade and I trundle off to bed the lessons and adventures of Star Trek linger in my heart and mind.  It is in this that I sometimes find the courage to keep boldly going.

Thank you Gene for your creations and their place in my lives.  I lift a glass of Romulan Ale to you and with you much peace.  I pray we can actualize your dream.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

East to West – Omniscient Forgetfulness

Greetings Dear Reader,

“Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness.”

I sometimes forget that when I acknowledge my wrongdoing (sin) that the Father not only forgives it but he forgets it.  God who knows all things chooses to forget our sin.  He chooses to remember all his love for us and forget all of our sin.

I recall and regret things that are forgiven and forgotten.   They still hinder me at times.  They still cause me to move more slowly in life than I desire.  I am not sure how to let go of some of it.

When my past failures haunt me I sometimes allow them to keep me from moving forward.  The specters of the past cloy at me constantly to steal my peace of mind.  They want me to drown in a sea of false guilt and regret. 

I must remember in these moments that this is not how the Father sees me.  It is rather that he sees me a forgiven, restored, and sinless.  It is we that get overwhelmed and drown in our past.  We are not supposed to live this way. 

Ghosts – Dan Fogelberg

Sometimes in the night I feel it

Near as my next breath and yet untouchable

Silently the past comes stealing

Like the taste of some forbidden sweet

Along the walls in shadowed rafters

Moving like a thought through haunted atmospheres

Muted cries and echoed laughter

Banished dreams that never sank in sleep

Lost in love and found in reason

Questions that the mind can find no answers for

Ghostly eyes conspire treason

As they gather just outside the door

And every ghost that calls upon us

Brings another measure in the mystery

Death is there to keep us honest

And constantly remind us we are free

Down the ancient corridors

And through the gates of time

Run the ghosts of days that we've left behind

Down the ancient corridors

And through the gates of time

Run the ghosts of dreams that we left behind

Sometimes in the night I feel it

Near as my next breath and yet untouchable

Silently the past comes stealing

Like the taste of some forbidden sweet 

And every ghost that calls upon us

Brings another measure in the mystery

Death is there to keep us honest

And constantly remind us we arn’t free

Down the ancient corridors

And through the gates of time

Run the ghosts of days that we've left behind

Down the ancient corridors

And through the gates of time

Run the ghosts of dreams that we left behind

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

East to West - Opening

Greetings Dear Reader,

Psalm 103:12 - As far as the east is from the west— that is how far he has removed our rebellious acts from himself.

Once again a song has wormed its way into my brain and will not let go.  It is a good song with many inroads into my life.  It has been there when I awakened every day for about a week.  It floats through my mind unbidden whenever I am not concentrating on anything else.  It resurges as I drift off to sleep.

It is a good thing I like the song and I really do.  I must see what it is trying to teach me.  As I walk through the verses I will ponder the theology and lessons in the song.  I do not feel that I am in any spiritual danger and that intrigues me further.

Enjoy the song and walk with me as I try to figure out what it is telling me.  Your company always makes the journey better Dear Reader.

East to West – Casting Crowns

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness

The chains of yesterday surround me

I yearn for peace and rest

I don't want to end up where You found me

And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight

I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west

And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned

But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west

'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest

'cause You know just how far the east is from the west

From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin

Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in

Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light

I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night

I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals

I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me

You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west

I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest

'cause You know just how far the east is from the west

From one scarred hand to the other

One scarred hand to the other

From one scarred hand to the other.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

There will be stress.  It will be the result of many things but it will occur.  We will decide how we handle it.  We can mitigate much of it by refusing to worry.  Worry is a choice we just make it a habit.

It is really this simple.  If my focus is following Christ then I need worry about nothing.  Stress will come at me from all directions.  I must choose to let Christ carry my cares.  I must choose to do what is right.  It is in the following that freedom for worry is found.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress - Time and Schedules

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the things that I used try to control was time.  Not just for me but for everyone around me.  I like things scheduled, planned, evaluated, revised, and followed.  Of course that is not how many people work.

This does not mean that it is wrong to schedule, plan, evaluate, revise, and follow (SPERF).  It does mean that I must allow for the needs of others in my SPERF.  It means that just because the SPERF is up no one else should be forced to get on board.  When I want things done this way I am not allowed to impose my needs on others. 

If others agree to the schedule then they have an obligation to follow it or communicate if they cannot.  I have an obligation to look for their needs and adjust where necessary.  Time like everything else is a gift given for us to use to follow Christ. 

Too often as a project manager I see people make the schedule the god over the needs of people and even the project.  I have respect for the schedule but it is a plan not the holy writ.   Doing the project right and being good to the hard working people involved is the priority. 

If we think about it, time is subjective to the constructs we build around it.  We should adhere to our time commitments but we should not stress others or become stressed over them.  We should communicate honestly and see that most time constructs are subjective.   We must never but the subjective ahead of the needs of people.

I must redeem the time given me but I must not stress others to make a dead line that I created.  I must give every moment to Christ but not damage others for the sake of the clock.  I must keep my time commitments but be honest if I am in a crunch.   It is time that it our tool not being a tool about time that matters.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress - It Is Only Money

Greetings Dear Reader,

Money is not the root of all evil.  The love of money is.  Lack of money can be the root of much stress.  There are so many reasons why we do not have enough of it.  Some are our own doing.  Many are not.

Many factors contribute to this stress.  We are not supposed to have any of it.  Let me be clear that I do not believe the teachings of those who say we are supposed to always be in prosperity as Christ followers.  We will have needs.  We will not always be rich.

We will have our needs provided for if we follow in faith.  Sometimes we do not agree with the Father as to what our needs are.  When we disagree with God, however, we are always wrong.  Again, we may not agree with that but it is nonetheless true. 

So what should be my approach to avoid stress over money?  I think a list is appropriate here.  Remember Dear Reader, I am not dictating to you and would never minimize your concerns over your needs.  I am merely pondering aloud for the sake of my own journey and sharing it with you.

I must not try to live above my means.  It is OK to want things and to save for them but if I use my money or go into debt just to have the thing, meal, or experience I want then the stress of that debt is my own creation.

I must not fail to give to others.  When I am vigilant to share what I have with those in need then it mitigates my worries and allows the Father to pour his blessings into my life.

I must not be dependent upon my job for my needs.  The Father has promised to supply my needs according to his ability to supply.  This means that if I follow in faith my needs will be met.  He never promised to give me all I want.  He knows my needs before I know them.

Worry over money never creates more money.  Stress what I have or do not have will never make me wealthy or healthy.  If I truly believe that the Father has all things under his care then worry and stress over money are not my place.  Problems associated with lack of money are opportunities to follow in faith.  If I chase money I will always have stress.  If I chase Christ I will find peace.  It really is that simple.

The Power of Gold – Dan Fogelberg

The story is told of the

Power of gold

And its lure on the unsuspecting

It glitters and shines

It badgers and blinds

And constantly needs protecting.

Balance the cost of the soul you lost

With the dreams you lightly sold

Are you under

The power of gold?

The letters and calls

Got you climbing the walls

And everyone wants a favor

They beg to remind you

Of times left behind you

But you know the past is a loser.

The face you're wearing is different now

And the days run hot and cold

Are you under

The power of gold?

You're a creature of habit

Run like a rabbit

Scared of a fear you can't name

Your own paranoia

Is looming before you

But nobody thinks that

It's a game.

Balance the cost of the soul you lost

With the dreams you lightly sold

Then tell me

That you're free

Of the power of gold.

The women are lovely

The wine is superb

But there's something about the song

That disturbs you...

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress - Dramatis Persona

Greetings Dear Reader,

People can be stressful.  There are those who cause stress without meaning to do so.  There are also those who cause stress because they thrive on it.  There is also the aspect of the problems of others causing us stress.

I have a friend who thrives on drama.  He never has a good day.  On the very best days he can find the dark cloud that produced the silver lining.  He injects drama into everything.   This is how he copes with the unhappiness in his life.

When we let the drama of others cause us stress we become bit actors in their passion play.  That is not our role.  I do not wish to push the metaphor too far.  I also want to be clear that when we draw others into our drama we create stress for them.  That is not loving or kind.

There is drama enough in life without inventing it.  The problems of the real world offer enough challenge.  When I create drama I am robbing others of peace.  I am putting them in the position of having to deal with my problems when they may not wish to be involved.

We are all party of a story.  That does not mean that we have to impose the hard parts of our story on others.  Further we must never create drama just to get what we want.  It is in Christ that we find all the supporting cast we need.  If I give my drama to him he will care for me.  To walk in any other path is bad lighting and poorly scripted.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress – Imagined Adventures

Greetings Dear Reader,

The week before I went on vacation the two fine people I report to at work had a meeting with me.  It was all good.  We worked through a customer issue and learned how to handle it in the future.  I must say that these are two of the finest people for whom I have ever worked.

At the end of the conversation one says to the other, “Should we talk with him about the other thing?”  The other one say, “Not now.”

They both look at me letting me know that I can leave.  Now this is a real challenge to my obsessive paranoid brain.  I determine to be patient and leave.  I mention it in passing to one of them the day before I leave for vacation.   She laughs at me with that laugh that says “I like to turn the rotisserie and you are the chicken.”  

I want to be clear that she and I have a relationship where this is acceptable and even beneficial to me.  Still it is two weeks past my vacation and no word about the cryptic question.  The man I used to be wants to worry, stress, ponder and imagine.  He wants to imagine adventures that end in my demise.

I am a master a turning the benign into stress.  I am working hard to master this mastery so it is no longer my master.  The trick is to capture the first thoughts before they can become a horror story.  The process is to realize that if I imagine a bad adventure it will only cause me stress.  If I create the horror story before it happens then I live the horror whether or not it happens.

Instead I look at the truth.  I look at the fact that if I am following Christ I can let him carry the future and I need only do what is right in the moment.  In the moment it is always right to trust.  It is always right to have faith.  The joy is in the journey not in imagining adventures that will harm me.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Stress Free or Free Stress – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

A certain level of stress is unavoidable.  There will be tension in life and we must learn how to properly handle it.  There is also the stress we manufacture.  We create unnecessary stress over things that do not really matter.

We create tension over things that we cannot control.  We create stress in our lives over worry.   We let the unrealized problems of the future rob us of the present.  Stress kills us.

I have learned how to handle all the stress well.  I need to focus on how to give my stress and worry the boot.  I need to assure that I am only concerned for the things about which I am supposed to be concerned.  I have never fixed anything by worrying about it. 

Stress does damage.  I know that I function well under a small amount of it.  I must examine the rest and find ways to put my faith in Christ over the things I cannot control.  It is in mitigating the stress that I find a way to peace.  Christ wants me to be at peace. 

Walk with me Dear Reader as I try to destress my life.  Your company always makes the journey less stressful.  If we follow together maybe we can help each other.  Let me know if we need to discuss anything.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)