Shards of My Face

Greetings Dear Reader,

I had the opportunity recently to look at a mirror that was broken.  A baseball had found it at almost its center.  The resultant pattern of cracking was like a spider web.  As I looked into the mirror my face seemed fragmented and broken.  Small section of my nose and eyes repeated as the cracked parts at the center were at slightly different angles.  I studied this for a moment and realized that I found it humorous.  The shards of my face looked funny.

As I pondered this I realized that although I was laughing I was thinking that it should bother me.  I do not know how I made the leap to what I thought next but it has stuck.  The path seems to be that I thought about what my feelings would be were my face truly traced with lines and rivulets.  Were it not painful how would I feel about it?  My mind quickly then threw out the question of pride.  How would my thoughts change about the image I carry of my looks?

From there my mind raced to the idea of brokenness.  Do I really feel broken about who I am in light of Christ and his example?  Does my sin give me pause and drive me to be a better man?  Although I know that sadness is a component of recognizing my sin it is not the hinge-pin of brokenness before God.  I must allow my pride and selfish nature to be shattered.  I must not give thought for myself in this.  I must allow brokenness to pervade my spirit.  What this means is that brokenness is not equal to sadness.  God wishes us to be filled with joy and yet be broken before him. 

Brokenness is of the will over the heart.  My will must be broken and my spirit then and rejoice in the freedom to follow Christ more closely.  In short it is another method for getting out of my own way.

Father break me

Take me through the fire

Father hold me mold me

Just as you desire

I am just a cup to overflow your will

I know I must be empty to be filled – Terry Talbot

Wishing you joy in the journey,