The Cost of Faltering

Greetings Dear Reader

It seems so often that it would be easier to lay down my ideals and dreams.  It would make things easier.  Some around me think I am depressed and I am willing to acknowledge this possibility.  The very wise teacher I had for Psalms pointed out that David went through what could be categorized as two clear clinical depressions.  I am not sure that this is where I am but out of respect for those who love me I must investigate it.

I know that I feel great grief.  I know that I am not where I wish to be and do not know how to get there.  I know that I fear losing ground that I have fought to gain.  I laughed last night for the first time in some time.  It was from the heart and soul not just a chuckle.  For that I am grateful. 

What I do know is that I will not quit.  I will not succumb to the pain and discouragement I feel.  I will not let the loneliness rule me.  By God’s grace I will not take even a single step away from my faith.  I cannot move away from that which I have fought so hard to have.  The cost of faltering is that I will not have anything in which to hope.  I will not have any harbor from the storm.

If my dreams are not to have realization then I still have Christ.  If my journey is to be through places that I do not wish to go then I must be willing to go there with Christ. Stuart Townend’s words could not mean more to me than they do right now.

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless Babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From a life’s first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Could ever pluck me from His hand

‘Til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I stand

The cost of faltering is too high even when the journey seems dark.  If necessary I will stand in any place I must to follow Christ.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."