Minstrels in the Gallery – The Edge

Greetings Dear Reader,

There have been two times in my life where I have been prepared to end my life.  I do not mean just mean thought about it.  I mean that I have made the preparations and had the “courage” to act.  I know that in both those instances God directly intervened.

The first time was just over forty years ago when I was fourteen.  I was in so much pain that I wanted to echo that pain back into the world.  I had obtained some sedatives and planned to take them and go for a swim.  I had written a note so that the people I was with would not be held accountable.

The man speaking at the conference I was attending approached me the night before my planned morning swim.  I have always loved swimming in the morning.  The man told me he could see the sadness in me.  We talked for hours.  He listened to my pain and my questions.

He gently lovingly inserted Jesus into the conversation.  Jesus did the rest.  There was a second time.  I will not share it for the sake of those involved.  It was after I knew Christ and my focus was surely not on him.

Instead of drugs and swimming I had chosen just drugs.  A deep sleep and quiet exit was my plan.  Again, however, God had other plans.  Someone intervened and he does not even know he saved my life.  He showed up and suggested we go out for dinner.  We did and he talked about a problem he was having.  I was able to help. 

I realized during that dinner how selfish I was being and turned a permanent corner in my thinking.  Instead of focusing on my own pain, problems, desires, and loneliness I focus on the needs of others.

I have been to the edge.  If you feel you are there I will listen.  It is a lonely and terrifying place.

The Edge – Michael Card

Most of us will never know

How dark this world can seem

When life becomes more nightmare than a dream.

So to all of you who have survived

A visit to the edge,

I trust that you will understand this pledge.

I promise I will always leave

The darkness for the light.

I swear by all that's holy

I will not give up the fight.

I'll drink down death like water

Before I ever come again

To that dark place where I might make

The choice for life to end.

I've found that as I travelled

Through the inscape of my land

That mountaintops make valleys in between.

And when that nameless sadness

Like a cloud comes over me

I look back on all the brightness I have seen.

I promise I will always leave

The darkness for the light.

I swear by all that's holy

I will not give up the fight.

I'll drink down death like water

Before I ever come again

To that dark place where I might make

The choice for life to end.

I realize that though my world

Might seem so torn apart,

Most often it is joy that breaks the heart.

And that I am the richest man

Though I must beg for bread,

For the very One who might condemn

Has called me friend instead.

I promise I will always leave

The darkness for the light.

I swear by all that's holy

I will not give up the fight.

I'll drink down death like water

Before I ever come again

To that dark place where I might make

The choice for life to end.

I will always leave the darkness for the light.

I will not give up the fight.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."