17 January 2018

Second Thoughts ~ Snow, Milk, and Bread

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

It could not have been a snowflake. 
That is not free-range,
 whole-grain
, cruelty-free,
 non-gluten bread.
Since it is snowing in the south I will take a moment to defend my Southern heritage.  I grew up in Atlanta.  I now live in Wisconsin.  My tongue is firmly implanted in my cheek.  Two inches of snow is nothing here so we do not understand what that means to the average southerner. 

The usual response to the milk and bread pejoratives is to cry that they are not used to it.  The fact is there are salient reasons why the South is more impacted by infrequent snow.  Had they some whit of letters left about them when faced with this crisis their responses might be thus:

Arboreal:  The overabundant Douglas Firs cannot bear the weight of the snow and cold as well as their Northern cousins thus causing the breaking of branches and downing of power lines. 

Meteorological:  The precipitation visited upon us is rarely true snow. It is often a mix of snow, freezing rain, and sleet which covers our roads in dark sheets of ice making travel almost impossible and always treacherous.

Industrial:  Given that the need to clear our roads of frozen precipitation only occurs once or twice every other year or so the investment has not been made in sand, salt, and snow plows to clear even our major roads.

Experiential:  Referencing the aforementioned infrequency of snow/ice events it is clear that those who live in the South have little if any experience driving in or preparing for the implications of sudden roads, walks, and houses covered in beautiful white death.

Provisional:  You create memes of our pilgrimages to the store for bread and milk without understanding that our larders are filled with non-perishables and we understand the need to have essentials when unable to travel for up to a week (it has actually happened).

Parental:  The announcements of school closings due to the danger of travel visit a dilemma upon us in that places of work do not as readily concede that travel is ill-advised thus requiring parents to scramble for appropriate childcare.

Comparative: During the late spring, summer, and early Autumn we endure humidity levels constant over which the north whines incessantly when they have a few days of it.  We will remember this as should you.

So to my Northern friends I offer this; we have good reason to feel anxious concerning the snow.  Let us know when it gets too humid for you.  We will find you a Wal-Mart to hang out in.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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